How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Research finds link between internet trolls and personality disorders

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Erin Buckels of the University of Manitoba and two colleagues conducted research to find out whether people who engage in internet trolling are characterized by personality traits that fall in the so-called Dark Tetrad: Machiavellianism willingness to manipulate and deceive others Narcissism egotism and self-obsession Psychopathy the lack of remorse and empathy Sadism pleasure in the suffering of others The researchers conducted multiple studies, using a variety of methods and found that, although there were correlations between trolls and each of the Dark Tetrad,  the relationship between sadism and trolling was the strongest. Indeed, sadists appear to troll because it gives them …

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A sociopath asks, ‘Why should we change?’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received this email in response to a previous article written by a self-proclaimed sociopath. I've read the article titled A sociopath claims, ”˜We are the uniquely gifted,' and most of replies to it. First of all I'd like to make clear that the author of that letter is narcisisstic and quite delusional as he thinks himself some kind of superhuman. But apart from that, most of the things he said are true. Wouldn't you use the so called 'gift' of manipulation if it ensured you got what  you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable? After all, it is you who let us manipulate you. From replies you can clearly see that people are afraid and that's th …

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Is “No Contact” the Antidote to Mother Nature?

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had our "ah-hah" moment and could simply turn off the faucet on our feelings? Unfortunately, the chemistry in our brains won't let us do so. And, instead, we rehash all the upsetting moments thinking about what we “coulda,” “woulda, “ “shoulda,” done. I know I wasted years thinking about how I could change his opinions and g …

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Divorcing a Sociopath: Redefining Possessions

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by Quinn Pierce What's Yours Is Mine... When teaching preschoolers, it can be very entertaining to watch the children interact according to the inherent set of rules set forth by this age group. This list of rules may be long, but the rules themselves are very simple: If it's mine, it's mine If it's yours, it's mine If I like it, it's mine If I think it's mine, it's mine If I can take it from you, it's mine If it's broken, it's your fault”¦and so on.  Everything Is His Possession Interestingly, this is the same set of rules that my ex-husband applied to our divorce.  It became very clear that he considered every object in his life a possession, including people, and he was enti …

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All sociopaths lie

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Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, led a double life. He worked at the Federal Aviation Administration Technical Center, which required a security clearance. He had a wife, the result of an arranged marriage in his native India. But for the past three weeks, Patel has been on trial, charged with sexually assaulting, or attempting to sexually assault, seven women in Atlantic City during the summer of 2012. Some of the women were working as prostitutes. During the trial, Patel admitted that he was addicted to prostitutes, but he denied assaulting the women. Here's some of the news coverage: Accused rapist tells jury he's paid 200 prostitutes for sex, not rape, on …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: What I learned after being targeted by a female psychopath

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was sent in by a reader whom we'll call Aaron. This is part personal narrative and part informed amateur psychology suggestion. I am writing this because of my own traumatic experience and the need I believe for men to know what they may be dealing with. As most discussion and research involves male psychopaths there has only been recent dialogue on the female version. The most well-known writings on psychopathy have involved male prison populations, most notably by leading expert Dr. Robert Hare, and the notoriety of serial killers (Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and others) and have not touched on those in the general population and specifically female …

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Continually picking at the ‘psychopathic scab’ won’t give the wound a chance to heal

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Editor's Note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of “Dark Souls Healing and recovering from toxic relationships.” By Sarah Strudwick heal verb \ˈhÄ“l\ : to become healthy or well again : to make (someone or something) healthy or well again This week I had to have two teeth out, which turned out to be pretty painful. I also ended up with an infection. I've had wisdom teeth out before many years ago but didn't necessarily want to remind myself of how uncomfortable it was. Despite the pain and infection, I know in time the gums will heal, albeit they may feel and look a little different after. We get hurt When we fall in love or become victim to a psychopath, often ou …

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Read ‘A Narcissist’s Love Letter’

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It's Valentine's Day, the day when many people celebrate love, including sociopaths (which, here on Lovefraud, include antisocials, narcissists. and borderlines). These exploiters do not experience love as we do. But they are often very good at faking it. They profess their love, make promises of future happiness and create  grand gestures to demonstrate their love which we may later realize was a demonstration for an audience, not for us. So when they say, "I love you," what do they mean? This post on ThoughtCatalog.com, by John Howell, answers the question. A Narcissist's Love Letter Thank you to Sarah Strudwick for sharing this link.   …

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Co-Parenting with a Sociopath Should Make the List of the Most Difficult Jobs in the World

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by Quinn Pierce  Recently, I came across a list of the most difficult jobs in the world.  The top contenders included: U. S. President, UN Negotiator, Prison Warden, and Air Traffic Controller, to name a few.  I don't argue that these are extremely stressful and challenging career choices, but I believe there is one that should have made the list, even if it isn't officially considered a career, and requires financial, emotional, and psychological debt rather than income: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath. A Daily Challenge As if parenting isn't challenging enough, trying to navigate the crazy-making, drama-filled world of a sociopath who has the ability to influence and harm your children …

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The Atlantic writes sparsely about psychopaths and rehabilitation

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The Atlantic Magazine was founded in 1857 by luminaries such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The publication was known for literary and cultural commentary. Today the magazine and its website, TheAtlantic.com, are primarily aimed at "thought leaders." So when I saw that TheAtlantic.com published a piece entitled, Can Psychopaths Be Rehabilitated?, I was pleased to see this topic be addressed by a well-respected publication. I anticipate it would present a thorough and thoughtful discussion of the issue. I was disappointed. What the author, Carla Norton, wrote was accurate, but she barely scratched the surface of this topic. She spends half of the short article …

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