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Lovefraud Blog

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t change

October 11, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  8 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Ethel." I too married a Sociopath although it took way to long for me to see through the lies ”¦ I found out he had been cheating with numerous women ”¦ One day as he kept hanging up on me, I dialed his cell repeatedly in anger. As I kept pushing the #'s, miraculously, for some reason, his voicemail started to play and a woman's voice was saying what time he should pick her up, what restaurant reservations were made ”¦ Well, confused at who it may be, I never said anything, but continued to check the messages daily. The messages seemed a little like business but I went with my gut and went online to ch …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t changeRead More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Why being lied to is worse than being the liar

October 10, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  9 Comments

Psychiatrist Anna Fels explains why people who have been lied to over a long period of time find it difficult to recover. Great Betrayals, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.   …

Why being lied to is worse than being the liarRead More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath

Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other Mistakes

October 9, 2013 //  by Quinn Pierce//  44 Comments

by Quinn Pierce For a long time, I tried to keep confrontations with my ex-husband to a minimum.  I always thought that I could avoid causing my boys any further harm by just ”˜keeping the peace'.  I considered it a small price to pay if I had to tolerate inconveniences and insults in order to give my children a drama-less environment. But, as is always the case when negotiating with a sociopath, the price was much higher than I ever imagined. Good Intentions I believed I was setting an example by taking the high road and not engaging my ex-husband in his game-playing antics.  Unfortunately, what I was doing was letting a bully set the rules and move the boundaries at will. And whil …

Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other MistakesRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

The journey from pain to peace

October 7, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  31 Comments

The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …

The journey from pain to peaceRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Dr. Robert Hare compares psychopathic traits to corporations

October 6, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  2 Comments

Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), which is the usually instrument used by researchers to evaluate a person's level of disorder. In this video, he explains the traits of a psychopath, and compares them to corporate behaviors.   …

Dr. Robert Hare compares psychopathic traits to corporationsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Scientific research

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story with sociopaths (in three parts)

October 5, 2013 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  4 Comments

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Uhlen47" sent in her story. Discovering your website was, in many ways, a godsend. I am 59 years old, and I have not had a relationship for 11 years. Why? Because the last relationship I had was with a sociopath, and I have been too frightened to enter into another because I don't trust my judgment. The Beginning My mother was/is a sociopath with whom I no longer have a relationship. She abused me as a child, mentally, emotionally, and physically. My only gratitude to her is that she provided food, clothing and shelter, but she provided these probably because too much negative social stigma was attached to not providing it, and my …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story with sociopaths (in three parts)Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study says

October 4, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

A new study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that psychological assessment tools were about as effective as flipping a coin in predicting whether disordered individuals will re-offend after being released from prison. Predicting violence among psychopaths is no more than chance, on Phsy.org. Predicting future violence among individuals with psychopathy, on PJP.RCPsych.org. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study saysRead More

Category: Scientific research

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths love only themselves

October 3, 2013 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  19 Comments

Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Carlamac." I wish I had known about your website and ways to obtain support 4 years ago!!! I can't believe I have found you! I spent 3 years with a sociopath and although he didn't get me for money, per se, he did convince me to buy a home using a story so similar to yours ”¦ I moved with him from New York to Florida with promises that his new business (I aided him in starting and developing) would flourish and we would end up in a house on the water with a Cigarette speed boat ”¦ etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I left my adult children, family and an endless amount of friends on Long Island!! It didn't even take him 3 mont …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths love only themselvesRead More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath

Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Keeping My Children Safe

October 2, 2013 //  by Quinn Pierce//  23 Comments

by Quinn Pierce If I were to make a list of the events that have occurred in my family over the past month and asked an ordinary person to explain the motives and reasons behind my ex-husband's behavior, that person would have a very difficult time making sense of the whole situation. However, anyone who has had a relationship with a sociopath for more than two minutes would understand his every decision.  Unfortunately, I would not only fall into this category, but I may be considered an unwilling expert on his twisted thought process and vengeful nature. The Calm Before The Storm I often wish I was over-reacting or being paranoid when I sense that my ex-husband is planning …

Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Keeping My Children SafeRead More

Category: Sociopaths and family

James Montgomery at a business meeting.

The cardboard cutout sociopath

September 30, 2013 //  by Donna Andersen//  40 Comments

My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, considered himself to be an entrepreneur, the equal of any man who ever built a commercial empire. As he was seducing me, painting a glimmering picture of how successful and rich we would become, he proclaimed that he would be "the next Walt Disney." When Montgomery went to business meetings, he wore a jacket, trousers, and a polo shirt. He refused to wear ties, but he always had a silk square in his jacket pocket. He told me that even when he was young, he always dressed up in jackets and cravats, eschewing the psychedelic fashions of the 60s. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard that he'd been spotted at a train station in Katoomba, …

The cardboard cutout sociopathRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

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Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
  • Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
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