How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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BOOK REVIEW: Red Flags of Love Fraud by Donna Andersen

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I was eagerly awaiting the release of this book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath, and I was not disappointed at all. Donna Andersen, the owner of the LoveFraud.com website, received her “credentials” in dealing with sociopaths (psychopaths) when she married James Montgomery, a full-fledged con man. At the time Donna “enrolled” in this course in the University of Hard Knocks, she was totally unaware that this charming and charismatic man she had married was indeed a sociopath. He conned her out of more than $200,000 during the short course of their marriage, had numerous affairs, and actually fathered a child with another woman du …

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Psychopaths and the rules: to comply or not to comply, how do they decide?

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By:  Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed When dealing with psychopaths, or individuals with psychopathic features, nothing is as it seems to the naked eye.  When in relationships with psychopathic individuals, the non-psychopaths bear the brunt of great responsibility, both real and perceived. After all, the "normals" really are left carrying the loads and picking up the pieces when the psychopaths are tired of playing the games that they initiated.  However, the blame or burden they attempt to place on us, while accepting none for themselves, is not legitimate and we should not internalize it. Our actions and behaviors have little or nothing to do with the outcomes of their choices, even if t …

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Deliberate Cruelty From Someone Who Is Meant To Care

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  Last week I found myself in an intimidating situation that required me to put all my skills of resilience in to practice. I was in the hands of a professional person who should be there to care for others. I was in a hugely vulnerable position, yet instead of receiving care, I felt myself being belittled, bullied and threatened. The person dishing out this particularly cruel treatment was a senior doctor in a private clinic, where I am a patient. A few years ago I would probably have put up with his behaviour, or brushed it off as being just something I mis-read — but not this time. Not now. Not ever again. So I thought I'd share my story here on Lovefraud. As you already k …

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Red Flags of Love Fraud – 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath

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I am so excited. I can finally start talking about my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you're dating a sociopath. Who should read this book? Quite frankly, everyone. If you're wondering whether you're in a relationship with a sociopath, this book tells you. If you know you are, or were, involved with a sociopath, this book tells you how you got sucked into the situation and why it's so difficult to get out. If your friends and family can't understand why you got trapped, give them this book. It explains everything. If you want to protect yourself, or someone you care about, from becoming involved with a sociopath, this book tells you how to stay safe. Red Flags of Love F …

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BOOK REVIEW: Evil Eyes–A daughter’s memoir

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Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been writing for Lovefraud as regularly over the last year. The reason is I have been working to get a research program off the ground. Objective scientific research on psychopathy and the family will inform a better understanding of the disorder and educate professionals about the needs of victims and family members. In a very exciting and lucky turn of events, an expert in “mixed methods” research has an office down the hall from mine at the University of Bridgeport, and l have recently learned a great deal about how to conduct this kind of research. I have long appreciated that the usual mathematical approach to psychological research does not …

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Knowledge is power

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) If you are not willing to learn, No one can help you. If you are determined to learn, No one can stop you. A friend shared that saying with me today in an email and it made me think about what we say here at Lovefraud when we encourage a new poster to read and learn about psychopaths, to arm themselves with knowledge: “Knowledge is power.” Knowledge is a powerful tool in our lives. If we have no education, we are powerless, as we see in people who have dropped out of school illiterate. We encourage our children to do the best they can in school, to go on to higher education, so that they are better prepared in life, have more power to determine their …

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Senseless murder of a Vermont teacher

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I just read the story about Melissa Jenkins, a popular teacher in Vermont, who went to help her neighbors, only to be brutally murdered as soon as she got out of her car. I am sick to my stomach. Not only because of the stupid, horrific crime, but because I believe the victim suspected something was wrong. The story in the Burlington Free Press begins: ST. JOHNSBURY When Melissa Jenkins answered the phone Sunday night, the couple who used to plow her driveway said they were stranded half a mile from her home. Their car had broken down on the remote country road, they said, and they needed her help. Before driving out to meet them, Jenkins called longtime friend and coworker Randy …

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They Just Can’t Understand – Why It’s So Hard To Explain The Truth To Others

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This week's post is based on recent experiences and inspired by this comment posted on a previous article —  “the eyes see only what the mind knows” (thank you ”˜woundlicker'). It's the on-going subject about how on earth we can open other peoples' eyes about the psychopaths who live and breathe among us. My recent experiences have highlighted, yet again, how tricky it is for people to get their head around this kind of information — let alone accept that they have been duped! I often think back to the early days after I discovered the truth about my ex, and how puzzling I found it when people just didn't seem to believe me when I told them what had happened. No matter how many reams of bl …

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