How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

If You Think You’re Too Small To Make A Difference…

//  by //  5 Comments

Thank you for your comments about thinking like a Jedi — I'm so pleased that the post struck a chord with many of you! Today I have another idea to share with you, this time inspired by The Body Shop's Anita Roddick. I always admired her get-up-and-go attitude, as well as her no-nonsense approach to life. For me, she lived and breathed the belief that nothing is impossible, and she was passionate about getting that message across to people. For a time, she would have quotes and messages adorning the sides of her delivery lorries — one of which has stayed with me ever since I first saw it: “If you think you're too small to make a difference, you've never been in bed with a mosqu …

If You Think You’re Too Small To Make A Difference…Read More

Spotting sociopaths by intuition

//  by //  543 Comments

Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women's homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women. Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up. The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer? The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into …

Spotting sociopaths by intuitionRead More

Is my partner salvageable?

//  by //  251 Comments

It can be pretty tricky navigating the continuum of narcissistically disturbed individuals, attempting to separate the salvageables from the unsalvageables. Yet, there are two awfully basic, interrelated questions that can help you cut to the chase, and guide your decision to keep going, or cut bait. Here they are: 1) Is your partner someone who genuinely recognizes he has a problem respecting you? 2) If he genuinely recognizes this, then does he have the genuine motivation to confront his disrespectful behaviors and attitudes (be they chronic or episodic; devastating in their impact or more quietly, gradually corrosive of your goodwill)? Ultimately, it comes down to these …

Is my partner salvageable?Read More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Winning a court battle with a sociopath

//  by //  60 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Juliet.” Juliet negotiated a settlement with her ex, the father of her daughter. Names and locations have been changed. In the final papers, I am moving to Delaware and he gets supervised visits in Delaware (until age eight) for much longer than I would have if I were forced to fight in court and let the judge decide. Plus I am not paying for him to visit in Delaware. He agreed to pay child support of $450 once he gets a job. My daughter won't leave Delaware with him until age 10, and she won't fly alone to California until age 12.  And she only can leave for California over spring break and summer vacat …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Winning a court battle with a sociopathRead More

Thinking Like A Jedi!

//  by //  46 Comments

My last post seems to have prompted lots of comments — and I'm glad, thank you. Corporate sociopathy is a major subject and one that I intend to continue exploring in my professional career. I shall let you know how I progress! In the meantime, this week I am encouraged to write about something else. Well, on the surface it may appear to be a different subject”¦ then again, it's to do with choice and action. It's also to do with responsibility — making a stand, whatever that may mean. I've titled this post “Thinking Like A Jedi” because I'd like to share with you something I call The Starwars Theory. Most people I talk to about this have at some point come across the film — even if they …

Thinking Like A Jedi!Read More

Sociopaths in classic dramatic arts

//  by //  49 Comments

Last week my husband and I went to the opera to see Carmen. We saw the opera at the beautiful Academy of Music in Philadelphia. Before the performance, an opera expert gave the background of the story and the characters. Carmen was written by Georges Bizet, and premiered in Paris in 1875. Here's the basic story, as described by Wikipedia: The story is set in Seville, Spain, around 1820, and concerns the eponymous Carmen, a beautiful gypsy with a fiery temper. Free with her love, she woos the corporal Don José, an inexperienced soldier. Their relationship leads to his rejection of his former love, mutiny against his superior, and joining a gang of smugglers. His jealousy when she turns f …

Sociopaths in classic dramatic artsRead More

RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Dealing with betrayal bonds

//  by //  154 Comments

Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Surviving betrayal and trauma By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I recently attended a workshop by Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of The Betrayal Bond. I was shocked by the denial of the psychological community regarding the trauma experienced by survivors of emotional and sexual trauma. I took my worn and used copy of The Betrayal Bond to Dr. Carnes for his signature. He signed …

RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Dealing with betrayal bondsRead More

Appeasement–an impossible goal with psychopaths

//  by //  147 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) The term appeasement is commonly understood to refer to a diplomatic policy aimed at avoiding war by making concessions to another power. Historian Paul Kennedy defines it as "the policy of settling international quarrels by admitting and satisfying grievances through rational negotiation and compromise, thereby avoiding the resort to an armed conflict which would be expensive, bloody, and possibly dangerous”¦ The word "appeasement" has been used as a synonym for weakness and even cowardice since the 1930s, and it is still used in that sense to denounce policies and behaviors that conflict with firm, often armed, action in international relations. From W …

Appeasement–an impossible goal with psychopathsRead More

The Corporate Sociopath

//  by //  73 Comments

Today I've decided to tackle a different subject. Why? Because once again, just this week, I've been horrified by the sociopathic behaviour of a corporation towards one of my dearest friends. This friend of mine, I'll call him Jack, is a hugely talented, dedicated professional who has worked all his life in the people industry. He is a Managing Director, and has the most incredible people-skills. Teams who work with him — even those who may have been somewhat disparate before his arrival — will galvanize together and with him to deliver outstanding results. He is, in my opinion, a superstar who genuinely cares for people and who gives his all to his employers. He's always been that way. Oh — …

The Corporate SociopathRead More