A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It's an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com. Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason's ideas before—I don't agree with them. You can read it here: Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond …
Sociopaths, stress and physical sickness
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as “Shocknawe” posted information in a comment about the physical condition of adrenal fatigue. I invited him to write a full blog post on the topic. Please remember that Lovefraud is not a medical resource, and if you are suffering from symptoms like those discussed below you should consult a doctor. How to recover from adrenal fatigue By Shocknawe As victims of psycho/sociopaths, we know all too well the damage inflicted upon us. But I discovered that the toll taken has an additional component one that, left untreated, can set our progress towards recovery back by months and even years. The good news, however, is that we can take some s …
When amoral characters just aren’t sociopaths
You can sit with a sociopath and know he's a sociopath, and sit with someone who perpetrates the behaviors of the sociopath, even as comfortably as the sociopath does, and yet know he's not a sociopath. How? How can you know? Is it something intuitive? I address this from a clinical perspective, not a personal or intimate one. But still, I find it somewhat interesting to feel, or recognize, this distinction, and maybe you'll find it more relevant than I imagine. Of course, the history says a lot. Whenever you are dealing with someone who is raising his kids with some real love, holding down a job, paying his bills, not abusing his spouse and maintaining a history (past and present) of …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I left my family and friends to marry him
Editor's note: Last year, Donna Andersen appeared in the premiere episode of "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" on the Investigation Discovery Network. The show recently aired on Discovery Home and Health, a Spanish language station, in Central America. Lovefraud has heard from viewers in Mexico and Guatemala. Following is an e-mail from a woman whom we'll call “Blanca.” I saw your history in Discovery Home and Health here at Mexico, and I was surprised because everything you described was like a part of my personal life. I'm part of those worldwide victims, sadly here at Mexico there are not specific laws to deal with his kind of situation. My story began by e-mail. I really don't know …
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Frank Farley, clueless expert, on the Casey Anthony verdict
Yesterday I happened to be watching CNN as the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial was announced. Like much of America, I was stunned that she was acquitted. From the reports I've seen about Anthony's pathological lying and lack of concern about her missing daughter, I am confident that she exhibits sociopathic traits. A criminal profiler came out and said on national television that she is a psychopath. See: Profiler says letters show Casey Anthony to be a psychopath All of us at Lovefraud know what sociopaths/psychopaths are capable of. So I was more stunned by one of the so-called CNN pundits, Dr. Frank Farley, who came on the show later. He said that the prosecution's theory of …
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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: After Casey Anthony, another view of Florida courts
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Advice, learned the hard way, for coping with Florida Family Courts By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Marriage to a psychopath is similar to being in a war without any weapons. I tried to plan my escape from this man, and he was more experienced at turning my life into a complete physical and economical struggle. He has done this before, and he used to say to me, “Women are never t …
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Doing battle with sociopaths
Today, July 4th, is Independence Day in the United States of America. On this day 235 years ago, the country's forefathers declared independence from the tyranny of a distant king. Today, let us all declare independence from the tyranny of sociopaths. Declaring independence, of course, is only the beginning of the struggle. In 1776, the tyrant did not want to lose a prized possession—the Colonies—and retaliated by sending an army. The Colonists who believed in independence had no choice but to fight, even though most had little experience—they were farmers, tradesmen and laborers. But they learned how to fight. It took five years, many battles and many hardships, but in the end, the Unite …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Peggywhoever.” The Perils of Gifts By Peggy Whoever We are taught to believe that people who give us gifts do so out of the goodness of their hearts. That they are kind, caring people. Gift-giving (including meals) makes us think that people love us, or like us at least. NOT. There are people that use gift-giving as a tactic for control, or for a mental tally they keep on what we “owe” them in the future. “I did this for you; therefore you should do this for me.” I propose that anyone who gives a gift should do so freely, willingly, and without expectations of a "payback." I have experienc …
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A story with a moral
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) My friends are always sending me funny emails and jokes. My box fills up with them every day, and some of them I have seen “a hundred” times before and I just delete them. But the following story, though I had seen it “a hundred” times before, struck me today, as it really does have a good moral. An old man, a boy and a donkey ”¨were going to town.”¨ The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame ”¦ the old man”¨ is walking and the boy is riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed”¨ positions. Later they passed some people who”¨ remarked, " …
Defending marriage
The State of New York just passed a law allowing same sex-couples to marry. Opponents of same-sex marriage complain that the practice undermines the institution of marriage. Therefore, Congress enacted the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in 1996, which bared federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allowed states to do the same. DOMA also created a federal definition of "marriage" and "spouse". Marriage is defined as a "legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife," and spouse is defined as "a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife." To all those who really want to defend marriage, I say that nothing undermines the institution of marriage more than …