How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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BOOK REVIEWS: Looking at love and fraud from both sides

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By Ox Drover I just finished reading the dueling autobiographies of the disgraced former governor of New Jersey, James E. McGreevey, and his ex-wife, Dino Matos McGreevey. His book is called The Confession and hers is called Silent Partner. Former Governor McGreevey, as you may remember, publicly announced in 2004 that he was resigning as governor of New Jersey because he was being blackmailed by a former homosexual lover. As he pronounced to the world that he was a “gay American,” as he styled himself, his then-wife, Dina Matos McGreevey, stood beside him with a stricken deer-in-the-head-lights look. Many times we get a book from one or the other of two aggrieved parties that sur …

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The Sociopath as “The Missing Link?”

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Is it possible that the sociopath is, in a sense, the missing link? Who is he? He is human but, in another sense, not quite human. Much like the Neandarthals, who were humans but not quite homo sapiens, and whom you'd have had a hard time differentiating from homo sapiens in a crowd, the sociopath may mix in seamlessly with the more fully developed human race. Meaning, like the Neandarthal race of humans, he isn't noticeably different, at least not by appearances, from his fellow homo sapiens. And yet he is different”¦he is missing something. There is something primitive and underdeveloped in him. This is a very crude analogy, admittedly. Neandarthals weren't more sociopath than their f …

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Clueless experts lump personality disorders together

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The BBC recently wrote that people need to be more aware of personality disorders, including antisocial personality disorder so far, so good. Then the article stated that most people with personality disorders do not commit offenses, and says: Experts are now trying to train those who are most likely to come into contact with a personality disorder how to recognise the condition to make the situation easier to manage. This is crucial because the way in which staff interact with someone who has a personality disorder can affect the patient's condition. Sigh. This education process is going to be long and hard. Read Personality disorders are 'widespread,' say experts, on …

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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why sociopaths sometimes kill themselves

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Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. She has also created a wonderful animation that describes the antics of a sociopath, called Exposing the Mask of Insanity. View the animation here. The sociopath's unconscious death wish By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I recently received an email from one of my readers saying that her husband and mother, who are both sociopaths, had suicide clauses in their wills, so I decided to write a …

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A spath behind every bush

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I wrote an article not long ago about settling on a name for the personality disorder that we spend our time here talking about. I suggested using "sociopath" as a general term for exploitative people. Many of us have taken to shortening this term to "spath." Well, a Lovefraud reader "Justdreamin" informs us that "spath" is taken. She saw it on a flower pot, and sent us the photos. It turns out that "spath" is a shortened version of "spathiphyllum," which is the botanical name for the peace lilly, a common houseplant. We might have to come up with a new name. If I were a beautiful peace lily, I wouldn't want to share a name with the nasty predators. …

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Mark Ledden – a story of psychopathic violence

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Lovefraud has just posted a new case study on Lovefraud.com. It's probably the most frightening article in True Lovefraud Stories: Mark Ledden stabs his wife 11 times, then accuses her of attacking him This is the story of a man who would probably score at the top of the PCL-R, the tool that measures psychopathic traits. He was charming, scamming and over sexed. He coldly threatened violence. Then, when he was crossed, he brutally acted on his threats. It is also the story of a woman caught in a no-win situation. He seemed like a good guy, a responsible guy, when they became involved. Three months later they were engaged, and three months after that she was pregnant. After the …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: It was all for ‘our’ business, ‘our’ future

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader in Belgium who posts as “Nicola0903.” English is not her first language. Four years with a Sociopath. He was my best friend, my family, my soul mate, my lover, my business partner. I was 29, a foreigner in Belgium, with already some life experiences. Because my ex-business partner and ex-boyfriend that time decided suddenly to leave our brand new company, I stood there ”¦ Alone ”¦ with new clean sheet with “BVBA with marketing activities” on it — my job and hobby. I started “to swim between the sharks” and with success till I met HIM. “HE” was one of my first big clients. A charming, a good looking guy, around 40, an …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I do not know my stepdaughter anymore

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader in Australia who we'll call “Lana.” All of the names below are pseudonyms. Everything had been quite on the Spath front for a while. But I have worked out over the past 3 years there is always something lurking, ready to rear its ugly head especially when there are children involved. Two weeks ago I received a call from Gary, a man that my ex-husband (Steve, the spath) worked for a year ago and ripped off. Gary knew where I was working, and being in the same industry, knew my boss. He asked my boss if I could call him a few months ago and we have been in touch since.  Gary told me Steve had constantly made threats on m …

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Young woman jailed after falsely accusing father of rape

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It's not a sensational case, but it says so much about sociopaths. In June, 2009, Emma Marrill, a young woman from Camberley, in the United Kingdom, accused her father Phillip Marrill, of raping her. Her father was arrested and held in jail for 22 hours, protesting his innocence. For six months, Emma told the police a “litany of lies” about the rape. Finally, she admitted that she made the entire story up. Her father was cleared, and Emma was charged with perverting the course of justice and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. Last week, the 21-year-old woman was sentenced to a year in jail. Interestingly, her defense lawyer told the court that Emma Marrill had antisocial pe …

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