How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sociopath’s pseudo insightfulness and sensitivity

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Sociopaths who posture as insightful and self-aware are some of the most dangerous predators around. When I use the terms pseudo insightful and pseudo sensitive, I'm referring to the sociopath's manipulative efforts to seem some combination of vulnerable, self-aware, sensitive and compassionate. For some sociopaths this deception is conscious, while for others it is so seamlessly woven into their modus operandi as to feel (for them), at least in the moment, almost authentic. Even the normal individual, low in sociopathic traits, may struggle to distinguish his deception from authenticity when finding himself “performing” in a mode in which he feels masterfully confident and com …

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Last chance to fill out the sociopath survey

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If you haven't yet completed the Lovefraud survey about your experience with a sociopath, do it now. The survey will close the evening of Wednesday, March 3, 2010. Lovefraud will submit the results to the American Psychiatric Association. The association is preparing the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5), which mental health professionals use to diagnose mental conditions. It includes a new definition of sociopaths/psychopaths. Our survey asks you to rate how well the definition matches what you experienced in your involvement with a disordered person. We are seeking input from both men and women. Hundreds of Lovefraud readers have …

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Staggering statistics about domestic violence

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Reading the newspaper on Saturday, two terrible articles jumped off the page. A New Jersey man accused of abandoning his infant daughter at a gas station in Delaware has been charged with killing the toddler's mother, whose burning body was found in an upstate New York park. Read more. A man apparently infatuated with a special-education teacher shot and killed her as she walked into her elementary school Friday, shortly before students began arriving. Read more. These were stories of domestic violence with the worst possible endings. Dr. Liane Leedom has written previously on Lovefraud that, “studies of male perpetrators of domestic violence reveal that 50% are sociopaths and a …

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Practice makes perfect

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By Ox Drover I remember when I first learned to ride a bicycle. Most of us remember the day we first took off the training wheels, because generally, we fell down a few times before we got it right and were pretty safe from falling. It took practice. I can't remember many days before I was about twelve that I didn't have at least one band-aid on at least one knee. Even with the continual road rash I usually had on my knees and elbows, it never even occurred to me to not keep on practicing or to give up on learning to ride the “big kid's bike.” The past couple of months have been rather stressful for me with some deadlines I was facing, some big decisions I had to make, and the usual anx …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: What is dissociation?

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A reader asked the following question this week: Recently, I've started doing more research into sociopaths and have run into a condition with which I'm unfamiliar: dissociation. Do you know if sociopaths/psychopaths have been considered to have this disorder, or if it is part of what makes them who they are? The term dissociation has two distinct meanings in psychology. These two uses of the same word do not necessarily reflect a similar process operating in each. The first kind of dissociation is a response to stress, and peritraumatic dissociation (dissociation during a traumatic event) appears to be a risk factor for stress-related illness. Symptoms of this kind of dissociation …

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How Sociopaths Think

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When reflecting on the sociopath's style, I often find myself thinking metaphorically. For instance, in an early LoveFraud article (Sociopaths' Cat and Mouse Game) I explored the mind of the sociopath via the metaphor of the cat toying with the mouse. In this article, I probe a different metaphor: the small child abusing the captured insect. But a caveat's in order: Just as I wasn't impugning cats as literally sociopathic in my earlier piece, I'm not suggesting here that all children, including bug torturers, are developing sociopaths (anymore than in my last LoveFraud article I was suggesting that all practical jokers are sociopaths). On the other hand, I am suggesting that there ar …

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A Valentine to you: Yes, after the sociopath, you can love again

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Not long ago, Lovefraud received the following note from a reader: Your articles have given me a lot of peace and the ability to see good in life again, though I'll never go back into the mainstream of society because of the abuse and betrayal I've experienced. It's sad that the vision and understanding one achieves after being victimized by a sociopath prevents you from ever being able to get close to anyone again. I'm working through that though, so I just take it one step at a time. Maybe you could write some more about that? Yes, dear readers, we do need to take recovery one step at a time. But know that we can go back to the mainstream of society. We can recover to the point of a …

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How does ODD relate to sociopathy?

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This week a reader asked about a disorder called ODD and its relationship to sociopathy. ODD or oppositional defiant disorder is a childhood disorder. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists: In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning. Symptoms of ODD may include: • Frequent temper tantrums • Excessive arguing with adults • Often questioning rules • Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules • Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people • Blaming …

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Tell the experts about your experience with a sociopath

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Lovefraud invites you to complete a survey about your experience with a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist in order to help professionals diagnose this disorder properly. Two days ago, the American Psychiatric Association released a draft of the fifth edition its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5). This book is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health and other professionals. The revision has been underway for a decade. A work group of 11 doctors and psychologists focused on the section about personality and personality disorders. They have recommended significant changes to the description of antisocial personality …

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A story. My story. Dancing in the arms of love.

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She waited. Patient. Patiently. I'll wait for you forever, she told him. And so she waited. She waited and waited but still he never came. She called. Impatient. Impatiently. She called and she called and still he never answered. She searched. For him. For answers. For hope. And still her hands came up empty. I am your only hope, he'd told her. I am the one you've been waiting for. And so, she waited. In the dark. Through the dawn. Throughout the day. And still, he never came. He'd promised to come. Promised to bring her the keys to their new home. The money he owed. He promised to give back the dreams he'd killed. The trust he'd broken. The hopes he'd dashed. Today, he'd …

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