How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Let’s do something about psychopaths like Rodney Alcala

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Yesterday, I went to the studios of Inside Edition to be interviewed. People want to know what it feels like to have been photographed by a serial killer. How does it feel know that my life could have easily ended in June of 1979 along with the other victims? Inquiring minds also want to know how I feel about Rodney Alcala. Do a search on “stuck by lightning twice” and you will discover that the odds of being struck by lightning once are 1/3000. The odds of being struck twice are 1/9,000,000. Since there are 300,000,000 people in America this unusual event has happened. What does a person who was nearly struck by lightning once, and then actually struck 23 years later say about the …

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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: When what you give is squandered

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Editor's Note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Re-thinking identity as a giver when giving too much can hurt By Fannie LeFlore, MS,LPC,CADC-D Fannie LeFlore profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide If you've been victimized by someone, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you — often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination. Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, hurried and often competitive and conflict-oriented society can become as easy as brushing one's teeth. …

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Magnetic pulses can disrupt moral judgment

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Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology were able to disrupt part of the brain that is related to moral judgment by using a magnetic field applied to the scalp of study participants. Normal neural activity in that part of the brain was switched off, resulting in a "no harm, no foul" mentality. Read Scientists able to manipulate morality on The Scotsman. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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The marriage and the monster

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S.  Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two when he openly cheated and decided to leave me, then played games of false reconciliation, which in hindsight were so he could have two sex partners. The short end of my question is ”¦ How do you reconcile the basically happy marriage, the illusion of a man you married with the horrible monster he has become in trying to create turmoil in your life and use your greatest love (your child) to hurt you? Range of behavior One reason why it's so difficult to spot sociopaths is because they are not all the same. …

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Two terrible stories about sex and children

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In Trenton, New Jersey, a 15-year-old girl sold her 7-year-old stepsister to a group of men and boys at a party for sex. Read: Cops: N.J. teen sold stepsister, 7, for party sex on Msnbc.com. In Wales, a 6-year-old was repeatedly stripped, sexually abused and physically assaulted by other children in her school. Read: Horrific ordeal of girl, six, who was physically and sexually abused by 23 of her primary school classmates on Mail Online. Links submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Games Sociopaths Play (In Psychotherapy)

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What can we say about the games sociopaths play in psychotherapy? We might start with: Sociopaths don't seek counseling, ever, from a genuine motive to make personal growth. This isn't to say sociopaths don't end up in therapists' offices. They do, either because they've been mandated to attend therapy, or because they view counseling, somehow, as enabling their ulterior, manipulative agenda. But never does the sociopath, on his own, awaken one day and say to himself, “I've got some  personal issues I need to examine seriously, for which pursuing psychotherapy is probably imperative—otherwise my life and relationships are going down the drain.” I repeat, sociopaths will never, ever, …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A broken military system, a simple request

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Editor's Note: Kathleen Mills first contacted Lovefraud in September 2006 about her military husband, who she believes is a sociopath. He filed for divorce, deployed to Iraq and refused to pay her the financial support that by law, military families are entitled to receive. A year ago Kathy sued the Ohio National Guard and the governor of Ohio. “My situation is still the same,” she wrote last week. “My husband is still committing BAH fraud, with the open knowledge not only of the Guard, but the governor's office.” Kathy Mills is editor of the divorce section of www.4militaryfamilies.com. She has been invited to testify before the House Armed Services sub-committee. The …

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Back to school: Talking about sociopaths

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Last week, I was invited to participate in a “Women's History Breakfast” at a local high school. The school asked six local women to speak about obstacles they've overcome in their lives and careers to a group of approximately 50 girls. I used the opportunity to talk about sociopaths. First, I briefly summarized my story: I married James Montgomery, an Australian, who told me he was a Hollywood movie producer and screenwriter, a war hero who served in Vietnam with Special Forces, and who came to Atlantic City to open an electronic theme park for adults on the Boardwalk. The only thing that was true was that he was Australian. Montgomery took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Spiritual encouragement for survivors

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Editor's note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we've heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation. A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful. For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the …

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Physiologically, power makes it easier to lie

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A new study by the Columbia Business School is titled, People with power are better liars. The average liar experiences negative emotions, physiological stress and fear of getting caught. Power, however, enhances the same emotional, cognitive and physiological systems that lying depletes. So holding power over others makes it easier to lie. Read People in power make better liars, study shows on Msnbc.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader via Facebook. …

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