How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Mental health professionals: Name the disorder. Please.

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Most of the time we spend with sociopaths is spent in confusion. They tell us that they love us, while they cheat on us and take our money. They tell us that everything will be wonderful while our lives are falling apart. They tell us they're sorry and will never do it again, yet they do it again, and again, and again. We ask ourselves—what in the world is going on here? They explain it all away. The explanation seems to make sense. But something still isn't right, and they still don't stop the behavior that makes us believe we are losing our minds. There must be a reason. We wonder if they're depressed, or bipolar, or they have low self-esteem. We've been told that they were abused as c …

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After the sociopath is gone: Loving being me.

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When the sociopath was arrested and I awoke to the devastation around me, I was overwhelmed with one, undeniable truth. I was alive. I didn't think it was possible. Hadn't believed it would happen. I had spent so long in those final months wanting to die, wishing I could, thinking of ways to make it happen and waiting for him to make it happen, I couldn't believe I actually was alive. Yet, I was. How could that be? What was I supposed to do with this unexpected gift of a lifetime? In Jackie Nink Pflug's book, Miles to Go Before I Sleep, her survivor's story of being shot in the head by terrorists and left for dead when the plane she was on from Athens to Cairo was hijacked, she …

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Psychopaths in everyday life

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In honor of the 4th of July we celebrate but also reflect on how to make our nation and world a better place. I therefore thought it would be fitting to review for you a book, Psychopaths in Everyday Life, by Robert W. Rieber. I highly recommend the book to readers who have some background in psychology. The book explains Dr. Rieber's view of psychopathy and also discusses how psychopathy relates to what he calls “Social Distress Syndrome.” He says that America is plagued by this Social Distress Syndrome and therefore is breeding psychopaths/sociopaths. First Dr. Rieber's view on psychopathy. I was also fortunate to meet with Dr. Rieber to discuss his ideas in detail. He has interviewed ma …

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The voice of a sociopath

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A Lovefraud reader alerted us to an audio clip on YouTube called, How not to pick up chicks. Here's the story, according to the person who posted the audio: "One of my friends from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girls, Olga, ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most two minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me." Here's what our Lovefraud reader wrote: "You should be able to hear a telephone recorded message from Dimitri to Olga. It is so telling. Only Dimitri speaks, but for anyone needing/wanting a lesson in identifying red flags this couldn't be …

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Going forward, while looking back

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by AlohaTraveler   Today, July 3, is a significant day for me. On this day, three years ago, I left the Bad Man. Let's take stock of that moment in time: Total cash = $700 Debt = at least $16,000 Job = None Place to live, bed to sleep in, a clue = No Plan = None Me = A total wreck. Between May of 2005, when I moved in with the Bad Man, and May of 2007, I have moved 10 times. This includes one move back to the islands in September 2005 and then back to California again on November 29, 2005. My car has 7,200 nautical miles on it and it shows. It looks like it's eating itself. Cars aren't meant to go to sea and mine crossed the ocean three times between July 3, …

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After the sociopath is gone: In time…

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Hot. Sunny. The slits of the blinds filter the light. Dark. Light. Dark. Light. Birds twitter. In the distance, traffic hums. The city awakens. I helped my friend's daughter move out of her house on Saturday. My friend's daughter who discovered one morning that her fiance whom she was to marry in August was untrue. It was a tough time. A difficult day. Yet, amidst the sadness, a day of hope took shape. A day for new beginnings took seed. New ideas were planted. JS, the young woman who's heart is broken, did well. He was there too. The man who has lied and deceived her. The man who promised he loved her, and only her and yet, does not deny the two other women who believe the same lie. …

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This was not supposed to happen

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I planned to discuss fearlessness and sociopathy this week, but instead I want to share with you a very sad event- the passing of my beloved father. My father, Dr. John M. Leedom was a good man and brilliant physician. This was not supposed to happen now, you see I was hoping to move closer to my parents after having recovered my life. I still have not recovered the status that I lost, and now my father will not get to be there when I do. I have been thinking about all the things that were not supposed to happen, including the fact that I married a psychopath/sociopath. I am sure you also have your list. Today I spoke to a friend who was overwhelmed facing the loss of her dog. The dog is …

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PROFIT: A (cancelled) TV show championing a sociopath

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Editor's note: The following essay was contributed to Lovefraud by Kenneth Royce at www.javelinpress.com. Ken discovered that a “friend” was a pathological liar, serial thief and con artist. “Though he made off with over $10,000 of my property in a very complicated scam,” Ken says, “it's had the ironic benefit of outing him for the sociopath he is, and thus warning many other unsuspecting people.” He previously contributed "Optical illusions, autostereograms and sociopaths." A two-hour pilot and seven hour episodes were filmed in 1996. Critics raved about it, calling it one of the best TV shows in years. The writing, direction, and acting were all very good. PROFIT follows the corporate …

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After the sociopath is gone: Miracles that set us free.

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It was just a simple text message, "He's a liar". At the time of its arrival on her cellphone, Sarah* didn't know its value. But, as the days unfolded and the story of his deceit was revealed, that little text message became a miracle. A gift from God. A sign from the angels that her life was about to change, radically, for the better. When I first spoke with her, she couldn't see the miracle of that text message. She could only feel its pain. She couldn't see the gift of knowledge it presented or the freedom it represented. She didn't want to see it was a gift for a better future. She wanted his love to be true. She wanted him to be true. She wanted time to rewind and take her back to …

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The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder

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The subject of the overlap between bipolar disorder and sociopathy is important to me personally and professionally. One of the reasons I did not understand my husband was that I saw him as a “bit on the manic side.” In some of the letters he sent me from prison, he declared himself to be “bipolar” rather than psychopathic/sociopathic. My experience is not unique, in our survey of Women Who Love Psychopaths, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. and I asked about manic symptoms in male partners. Over half of the women attested to the presence of these symptoms in their men. I first wrote about the connection between bipolar disorder and sociopathy in March, 2007. For more background please read ASK Dr. LE …

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