How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison

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My psychopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, died on February 16, 2021, in New South Wales, Australia. I heard about it a few days later from the woman he married after me. James Montgomery was still my husband when he married her; it was the second time he committed bigamy. But hey, who’s counting? The news that James Montgomery died had no effect on me. In fact, the same day I learned about my ex-husband’s death, I also saw the obituary in the newspaper for the first man I dated after I graduated from college. For him, I felt sadness. For my ex-husband, I felt nothing. That’s probably why it took me so long to write that James Montgomery died here on Lovefraud. It simply didn’t ma …

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My father married a psychotherapist and pathological narcissist

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Kurt21 about his father’s new wife. Therapists concluded that the woman was a pathological narcissist. My father is on his third wife “P.” I was opposed to their marriage due to the previous disastrous and expensive divorces. Just prior to their marriage Dad revealed to me the nature of his financial arrangements with P, and those arrangements mimic the community-property constraints that are setting him up for yet another expensive separation (should that occur). Why would he do that, and why would P (herself a two-time divorcee) accept such an arrangement? P is a licensed psychotherapist. Shortly af …

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5 warning signs of narcissistic rage and what you should do

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Something happens — perhaps even something small — and your partner explodes. He or she launches into a tirade, slams doors, throws things and appears to be on the edge of physical violence. What do you do? Narcissistic rage is really scary. The rager may yell, scream, curse, demean, belittle, shake fists and back you into a corner — and that's assuming the person doesn't get violent. If the situation escalates, the rager may throw or break items, punch the wall — possibly next to your head — and threaten you. Some may lose control totally and physically strike you. Usually, the display of aggression is way out of proportion to whatever it was that supposedly triggered the anger. Narcis …

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A Lovefraud reader laments: Sociopaths never get held accountable

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader whom we’ll call Trish21. She fell in love with a man who exploited her. Her frustration is that he will never get held accountable. I met my ex online dating. I was going through a very low point in my life I had experienced a loss that was very traumatic that had sent me in the self-destructive downward spiral. I was very vulnerable, more so than I had ever been in my entire life, and happen to meet this person online dating. I was just looking for hook up as well as that person. After that night that we hooked up, which was to be like a one time thing in my mind, he contacted me and we continue to talk and ended up seeing eac …

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To Mom and Dad: 9 reasons why your son or daughter fell for a sociopath

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UPDATE FOR 2021 To the Mom and Dad of a Lovefraud Target, Your son or daughter has now come to the brutal realization that the entire relationship was a scam. Perhaps you've had your suspicions for a while. Perhaps you've even tried to tell your kid that the partner was no good, but he or she wouldn't listen to you. Now everything has collapsed, and you can't understand why your son or daughter didn't see it coming. Please understand that sociopaths are professional con artists, and they are really, really good at what they do. In fact, they spend their entire lives perfecting their craft. Following are nine reasons why your son or daughter fell for it. 1. Your son or …

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I lived in pure terror — then I discovered his double life

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sherry21. She lived with a man who terrified her, and then, through a hacker, discovered that he lived a double life. I was punished for food, he threatened to take my animal to animal control, he would take car keys away and spit in my face and verbal assault me on a daily bases, gaslighting me to the point I was thinking I was wrong, stolen my money, he would sleep in the pasture with bulls as we live in 865 acres on a working cattle farm. I lived like a mute. I couldn’t have an opinion nor could walk correctly, breathe the air without being at fault on everything. He would wake me up by shot guns. He …

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Media messages that blind us to sociopaths

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[youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/KaOC9danxNo] UPDATED for 2021. I was watching ABC World News Tonight back in 2015. At the end of the program, ABC announced its "Person of the Week" Col. Chris Hadfield, the first Canadian astronaut to walk in space. Col. Hadfield is famous for his magnificent cover of the classic David Bowie song, Space Oddity, recorded while he was the commander of the International Space Station. The video has more than 50 million YouTube views. Hadfield's Space Oddity is absolutely breathtaking. It's such a tribute to the capacity of the human race to reach beyond our grounded existence that it brought tears to my eyes. I watched it again today. It still …

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Lies and manipulation from a disordered wife and mother-in-law

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Jerome21 about his disordered wife and mother-in-law. Hello, I married a woman who has a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I moved her in and helped her get custody of her son back from a most likely personality disordered mother. Things were never great but I kept the faith that if I stayed loyal and helpful to my wife she’d eventually “see the light”. My mother in law was irate that the child she took from my wife was returned and she blamed me. After all I provided the home and the stability that made it possible. Almost immediately CPS were frequently at our home for false reports. We als …

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Psychopathy can run in families – a possible warning for you

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following request in an email that brings up a scary truth: psychopathy can run in families. My husband's psychopathy was never diagnosed as far as I know, but some years after we married and her second suicide attempt that I knew of, he told me his mother had been diagnosed as a psychopathic manic depressive. Maybe you could give your readers 'a heads up and how to' on finding out as much as possible about the in-laws' medical conditions before marriage, better yet sound them out before becoming emotionally entangled? This is a great suggestion, so thank you to this Lovefraud reader. Here's my basic advice: Understand that psychopathy can run …

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Bigamy: My husband was married to three women at once

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Lovefraud received an email from a woman whom we’ll call Clara2 about the bigamy committed by her husband. Names are changed. I was married on Nov. 3, 2007 to Lawrence Riley, three yrs older than me. We had dated a year prior to being married. During this time, I was diagnosed with breast cancer which he stood by my side during the process. When we got home from the hospital, one evening a girl called a burner phone which I had bought him after he was let go from his job. He needed a cell while out looking for other work. The girl claimed to be his wife. She told how after he and I had gotten into a fight he had come to her. They had stayed up all night drinking and having sex. The n …

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