How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Why you feel so shattered by the sociopath’s betrayal

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Just about all Lovefraud readers share the feeling of being shattered by the sociopath. You just can't get your arms around the experience. "How can someone who claims to love me be so cruel?" "Do you mean he (she) never loved me? It was all a lie?" "I never knew people like this existed!" When you first begin to realize that you've been involved with someone who has a serious personality disorder, you may feel shattered by the sociopath, like you've lost your bearings in the world and you're drifting. You've had your heart broken before, but no previous relationship compared to this. Even if you've managed to get away from this toxic person, you feel lost. …

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Is Your Loved One Dysfunctional or a Sociopath?

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains how to know if a person in your life is dysfunctional or a sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest I want to look at the dynamics of a particular issue that is at the heart of relationships with sociopaths. That issue is control. It's also at the heart of many relationships that although dysfunctional, are not toxic to the point of being abusive and dangerous to one's overall wellbeing. Put it this way: All sociopaths are controllers, but not all controllers are sociopaths. So before I dive into this big topic, don't panic and immediately think that your …

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Learning the hard way that sociopaths do not change

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Carmen21. After going back and forth with a man for many years, she learned that sociopaths do not change. I met J in 2006 at work. At the time, I was involved in a long-distance relationship with my first love of 8 years. I was attracted to J the moment I saw him. During a work conversation, J asked me what my story was. I had a feeling he already knew because everyone at work talked about how I can do better and couldn’t understand how I was so loyal to a long-distance relationship. J said he knew but wanted to hear it from me. I asked him if he was in a relationship. He said he was from Boston and moved …

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How To Handle Toxic Family and Friends

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers suggestions on how to handle toxic family and friends. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest If you've landed here at LoveFraud, chances are that you're reeling from the pain and disruption of a toxic relationship or upbringing. Or both. Sociopaths and the fallout of abusive relationships can cause a ripple effect that's more like a tidal wave that trashes your life in too many ways to count. And it can go on for many years. Once your self-esteem and self-worth have taken a beating, your choices are adversely affected, as are your connections with people in …

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Why psychopaths talk so much

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Psychopaths tend to dominate conversation. Many of us know this first hand, but the reasons why psychopaths talk so much have been documented in a scientific paper published by the Public Library of Science, PLOS.org. Researchers brought together same-sex college students in groups of three people. None of them knew each other. The students were asked to engage in small talk. The conversations were videotaped, and researchers later analyzed who did all the talking. It turned out that study participants with higher scores in primary psychopathy, as measured by the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale (LSRP), spoke more words and controlled the conversation more than …

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The six-month relationship: He lied, I paid

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sharon21. she met a guy online. While he lied, I paid, she said. Names are changed. Whew! This is hard to revisit! I’m still very much in the healing process. I have listened to so many books, I have read so much on Narcissism, it has consumed my life. Until I experienced what I did, Narcissist was just a word to me. I truly believe the Narc I was involved with could lead the pack! It was that bad. I’m an empath. Hands down. I’m educated. I’m professional. I hold a Management position with a large corporation. I spend my days, caring for and helping the elderly. I’m a single mom of 3 kids. I was with the …

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The Serenity Prayer: Letting Go of What No Longer Works for You

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, reminds us of the beauty and power of the Serenity Prayer, and how it can help us let go of what no longer supports us. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest As you've landed on this site, I'm guessing you've been slammed with a lot of lessons on "letting go." Perhaps you've had to let go of dreams, your home, family members, a relationship, your lifestyle, the past, or a long list of other aspects of your life. It can feel completely devastating. You might even feel like it's more than you can bear. I can relate to that; I've been there myself, many times, so I do …

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I think my son is a sociopath

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, Marsha21. She believes her son is a sociopath, and describes his behavior from childhood to the present. Donna Andersen responds to her questions after her letter. I think my son is a sociopath. I say this with heaviness in my heart. Saying it out loud makes me sound like a terrible mother. I often chastise myself as to where I went wrong, how I could have done better, I take the blame. I’m still not entirely convinced that he is, but I do know there is something definitely wrong with him (his whole life). Even as a young child, I think he was manipulating me. Besides the “normal” things kids some …

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When there seems to be no escape from the sociopath …

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud once posted the story of "Billyjean" in an article called Alone. Exhausted. Lonely. Stressed. Stuck. She described how she felt like there was no escape from the sociopath. The headline pretty much sums up Billyjean's position. This single mom had thought she found a man who loved her. She married him, became pregnant and discovered he was cheating on her. Now Billyjean has a baby, no family support, and can't afford to leave. Plus, although her ex doesn't want to be with her, he also doesn't want to divorce her. He provides some financial support, and therefore feels entitled to show up at Billyjean's apartment whenever he wants, supposedly to see the child …

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How Feeling Unlovable Leads to a Need for Perfection

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains how she developed a need for perfection based in fear, and how she let it go. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest I've been a perfectionist about many things in my life and thankfully, have let go of most of that tendency. The need for perfection came from a massive fear of failure. And the massive fear of failure came from a deeply rooted belief that I was not lovable. If I could just be good enough, I would be worthy of love.  Of course, that wasn't in my conscious mind but that's what was going on. Being taken from my birth mother after bonding with her, …

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