How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Video: To parents who must send their kids to spend time with a disordered ex

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  You left your partner because he or she is disordered. Unfortunately, you have kids together. So now, you must co-parent and send the kids to spend time with your ex — alone. Knowing the sociopath's abusive personality, you worry. And you wonder — what can you do to help them? Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist in New York City, helps parents like you all the time. So now, she is sharing her knowledge and experience with all Lovefraud parents who are in this situation in her upcoming webinar: Empowering the child who must spend time alone with a disordered parent Wednesday, November 20, 2019 • 7 to 9 pm ET • $50 Instructor: Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R This course wi …

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Sociopathic Abuse and Impaired Executive Functioning Skills  

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., BSC/MT What are executive functioning skills? As a behavioral therapist, I work with many clients who have impaired executive functioning skills. The term sounds pretty fancy and quite technical, but there is a simple explanation. The term executive functioning skills refer to a set of management skills that assist children and adults in achieving their goals through: prioritizing organizing remaining focused regulating emotions As children grow and become critical thinkers, it is necessary to be able to adapt to change and have the ability to revise strategies to reach personal, social and academic goals. What happens when executive …

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My experience in Jehovahs Witnesses: Rape, kidnapping, lost custody and homelessness

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Brenda." All names have been changed. My story is very, very long and sickening. I have not quite been able to write my timeline of events of abuse yet, until right at this moment. The pain of reminiscing to tell my story has been far too great to bear. I went from an independent strong young and beautiful young woman of 23, business owner since 18 years old, renting my own apartment, full time student, etc., to now owning NOTHING but clothes on my back. Living literally on the streets of California, 32 years old now. August 2018 I had an Antique 1910 Baby grand piano, a sewing career that I just …

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What a sociopath says, and what he really means (according to his ex)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the above screenshot and her explanation from the longtime reader, "Fleeing Deer." The picture above is a screenshot of my former spouse's FB post. He is attempting to recruit people for his multi-level-marketing Ponzi scheme.  He promises to teach people how to make 6 or 7 figure incomes. Here is my "re-interpretation" of his message: Let me tell you a tale of how I am a victim so that you will feel sad for me and have pity on me. Let me manufacture a life-changing moment because we all love redemption stories and I need you to believe I have grown, and changed, and learned from my mistakes – even though I am completely unable to do any of those th …

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After the narcissist, I will live life to the fullest — as soon as I figure out how to leave my bedroom

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Editors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Lorraine19." I married my husband after one year of dating. He was charming and funny I knew he wasn’t always the nicest of guys but he was never out right mean. Well I guess he was but I didn’t take it that way I just assumed I had done something wrong. I didn’t even realize until 25 years later when he cheated on me, and blamed me for cheating on me, that I wasn’t crazy. Throughout our whole marriage he never once apologized. He never once thought he had to and he never once thought he was wrong. Everything he did was the fault of mine. I had caused it, I had made him react, I had done it, I had whate …

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Avoiding narcissistic abuse and PTSD during the holidays

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M. ED, CCBT, BC “Do not just slay your demons. Dissect them and find what they’ve been feeding on.”—The Man Frozen in Time Angela was married to a personality disordered husband. She was already traumatized by the threat of danger with each day that she continued a relationship with him. With the prompting and help of her friend,  she filed for divorce. As the divorce was unfolding, her siblings, as was custom throughout the years, continued to demand her presence at all family functions. She had young children, and knew that she should not subject them to the heavy drinking and other activities not appropriate for them. Whenever Angela had ideas for other …

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Sociopath at work: Taking credit for an artist’s talent and creativity

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from Curt Chiarelli, who is a designer, sculptor, illustrator and author who's worked in the motion picture/television, toy/collectible, video game and museum exhibit industries for over 30 years. The photos show Curt's work that the sociopath he describes attempted to plagiarize. Things that Go Bump Behind the Backstage Curtain By Curt Chiarelli According to the ancient druids, Samhain is the season when the membrane between our world and the nether realm becomes dangerously thin. In the cursed places of the earth, portals would sometimes open and allow monsters to slip through to terrorize mankind. And although it is of monsters …

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What is sociopathic abuse by proxy?

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, CCBT, BC If you have had the misfortune of dealing with a sociopath in your life, you are well acquainted with many of their abuse strategies that left you feeling you are like a deer in the headlights, taken by surprise and knocked off your feet. However, there are times when sociopaths do not come straight at you on their own, but employ third parties to carry out their control tactics to ensure you are complying with their demands on a continual basis. This is called abuse by proxy. Why does the sociopath employ third parties? There may be several reasons why the sociopath doesn't use direct tactics with you. You may have inflicted narcissistic …

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After the sociopath, I have recovered but I’m still scarred for life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Andrea19." I married a sociopath who charmed me when I was at a very lonely & depressed time in my life. After only a few months of knowing him, we ended up married. He was younger than me and seemed to have it together. Very handsome, quiet & smart. I had just lost a family member and was devastated & grieving. Our relationship consisted of very high highs and very low lows, it was like being on a roller coaster. I was walking on egg shells all the time and felt in some ways that I had disappeared. His words were cruel & condescending when speaking of his ex, or anyone else he …

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Forgiveness and sociopathic abusers — what the Bible says

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBT, BC As a Christian, I am required to forgive someone if they repent from their misdeeds. Genuine repentance means that a person completely refuses to engage in former abusive behaviors, especially when it comes to how that person behaves with you. Humility is required of all human beings in determining that we many have hurt someone by something we have said or done. Are we required to keep forgiving abusers? In the Bible, God is clear about the requirements for forgiveness. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the …

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