How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Language habits to help me remember that my ex was abnormal

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Editor's note: Three years ago, Lovefraud posted a story that we received from a reader whom we called, "Maura." Read it here: "After 30 years with a sociopath, she's now having the time of her life."  Maura is now about 70 years old and just sent Lovefraud an update. She included one of her recovery strategies, which she was graciously willing to share with Lovefraud readers. I wanted you to know that I gave up on "being friends" with the ex, and on trying to rescue the other victim (the main one; I'm sure there were others I did not know about). There have been many happy experiences in my new, free life. I am in a positive relationship, but I set strong boundaries and I resist any d …

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Laura Rubiales ND, LAc, joins the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide

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Editor's note: I am pleased to welcome Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc, to the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. Dr. Rubiales is a doctor of naturopathy and a licensed acupuncturist. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? Unfortunately, I have dealt with sociopaths and other disordered personalities both personally and professionally. The field of medicine, along with many other professional fields where people have authority over others, seems to attract a high rate of narcissistic personality disorder. I also got conned by a sociopath presenting as my soul mate and I was deeply humbled by how well t …

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Pain as motivation for escaping the sociopath

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A couple of weeks ago, I posted an article entitled, How to overcome your addiction to sociopaths. In it, I offered three steps for changing a pattern of falling in love with sociopaths. The steps are:  No Contact with the current sociopath Do not date anyone for the time being Heal the vulnerabilities The real work is in the third step — healing your vulnerabilities. What I suggest sounds somewhat like the good advice that we get on many topics, like: Eat your vegetables Make time for regular exercise Cut down on sugar, carbs and alcohol Get enough sleep We all know we should do all these things, but do we do them? How often do we skip going to the gym, or po …

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Kiley White, 26, allegedly claims brain cancer to con people into caring for her

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Linda and Steve Evans, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey offered their love, support and home to Kiley White, 26, who they believed was battling brain, kidney, liver and bone cancer. White lived with them for five weeks, moaning all night, supposedly in pain. It was all a ruse. She'd pulled the scam before. But this time, White was arrested and charged wit theft by deception and harassment. In court a few days ago, she smirked and laughed at the family she conned. Can anyone say psychopath? EHT family opens up home to woman who allegedly lied about her illness, on PressOfAtlanticCity.com. Woman faked brain cancer, stayed with South Jersey family for 5 weeks, police say, on …

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Co-workers didn’t identify a sociopath, but knew something was wrong

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It reads like a typical Lovefraud story, where a guy seduces a woman with claims of love, financial stability, and even military service in the Special Forces. But the story is posted on Reddit, and it wasn't posted by the victim, but by one of her co-workers at a big box retailer. The co-worker posts: She recently meets a guy on OKCupid (let's call him Miguel). Miguel claims to live in a bigger city than ours, an hour away (we are in the middle of nowhere in Kansas) and that he is 35 years old, also claims to be a virgin, and takes an interest in Jane. They chat for a while, and she's very excited. Once they establish a fondness for eachother, he claims that he has a $250K in …

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He got everything he could from me, and then discarded me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Emilie18." I met him in October on a dating site. He was 4 years younger than me – 59. His profile picture showed a rugged, good-looking middle aged man. His profile said he said he was ex military, ex truck driver, had a stroke and was losing his sight but wanting to travel. We chatted on the site for a week - he claimed he moved to my state to live with his brother after a nasty divorce 6 months before and had two married, adult kids living in Kentucky. He lived in a town 100 miles away. He wrote every day, then after a week, I gave him my number. He had a charming southern accent. I met him at a r …

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Wow! Lori Isenberg allegedly embezzles a half-million dollars, then her husband ends up dead

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On Feb. 13, 2018, Laurcene (Lori) Barnes Isenberg, 64, reported to authorities that her husband, Larry Dean Isenberg, had fallen out of their boat into Lake Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Authorities have just released records indicating that he did not die of a heart attack or drown — he had lethal levels of Benadryl in his system. Then Lori Isenberg was arrested for embezzling $500,000 from the North Idaho Housing Coalition, where she was the director. She failed to show up at her arraignment in June and is now missing. Now, two of Lori Isenberg's daughters, Jessica Barnes and Amber Hosking, are under investigation for conspiracy to commit theft and conspiracy to commit murder. Stay t …

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Are Addicts Sociopaths?

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By Dr. Robert Moran It’s very important to know the difference between someone acting like a sociopath and someone who is a sociopath but also happens to suffer from addiction too. They are two different types of conditions. During childhood a sociopath has a condition known as conduct disorder. This is a condition in which the child does not follow rules, is aggressive toward others and toward animals, starts fights, uses weapons, is cruel, steals, destroys property, starts fires, lies, defies authority, is truant from school, etc. Throughout adolescence, this may develop into antisocial personality disorder, which is a pattern of disregard for the rights of others, along with t …

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Anniversary Sale on all 3 printed Lovefraud books — save 57%!

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Lovefraud.com launched in July 2005, so we're celebrating 13 years online! In honor of our anniversary, you can buy all three of Donna Andersen's printed books for $24.50 — a savings of 57%. Red Flats of Love Fraud - 10 signs you're dating a sociopath This self-help book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. You'll learn how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it's hard to escape the relationships, and how you can protect yourself. More info Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook The scary truth is that sociopaths can't seduce us without our own involvement. Why did you believe his or her s …

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Dr. James Kauffman: military fraud and drug dealer, hired a hit man to murder his wife

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A few weeks ago, ABC 20/20 broadcast a show about the murder of April Kauffman in 2012. Last year, her husband, Dr. James Kauffman, was charged with hiring a hit man to shoot her in their home. In January, James Kauffman hanged himself while in prison awaiting trial. The crime took place in Linwood, New Jersey, which is practically in my back yard, so I've been reading the news coverage for years. I began to suspect that the good doctor was a psychopath early on — when he remarried shortly after his wife's death and tried to collect on her insurance policy. Yesterday, a new story came out — James Kauffman had claimed to be a military hero, serving in the Vietnam war. Apparently that's o …

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