How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My heart breaks for my three beautiful daughters who are no longer part of my life – Part 1

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Editor's note: Following is a series of letters sent by a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Grace18." Other names are also changed. Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4. Every single day I pray for hope in reaching my oldest child — a classic victim — a target! It is late at night, again while I try to drag my brain into numb-darkness, where I cannot think when I lie down to sleep. It does not work, for when I say my prayers about my (3) daughters being able to finally "wake-up" & save themselves, the tears roll down my cheeks and the nightmares begin. Three beautiful, happy daughters — 11, 10 & 6, when their Dad left to "find himself", 32 yrs ago. The oldest one, now …

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Does sensitivity to others’ fear make some of us easily manipulated by sociopaths?

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The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between: Part A Recently, I finished reading the book The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between by Dr. Abigail Marsh, Associate Professor of Psychology and Interdisciplinary Neuroscience at Georgetown University. Her book sparked some “light-bulb moments” that I wanted to share. The first two are below. The third and fourth will follow next week. Dr. Marsh and many researchers refer to these disordered individuals as 'psychopaths.' In my 2015 book, I referred to the same individuals as 'sociopaths.' Psychopaths and highly altruistic people differ on how they …

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How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselves

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On Quora.com, people can post questions for others to answer. Here's one question that was posted: How do psychopaths behave as children, especially around other children their age? So far, 13 people have answered the question — most of them self-identifying as psychopaths. The responses are fascinating. Here's an example: I was independent, yes. Behaved very well around my parents and other figures of authority, because behaving well meant that I could get away with more if I were caught. I stole, lied, manipulated “friends” into giving me what they want, made threats, threw violent tantrums, and for whatever reason enjoyed shouting at the neighbor’s dog and stepping( or at least …

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Sociopaths, information and power — what you need to know

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I clearly remember the words of my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery: "Information is power." Sociopaths don't really interact with others — they look for ways to exert power and control over the rest of us. Information, Montgomery understood very well, gave him the ability to manipulate, deceive and exploit me and others. Let's take a close look at how sociopaths acquire and use information at various stages of a romantic relationship. Advance preparation If you're looking for romance online, you've probably heard about how to protect yourself when you meet an online date in person. But what's more important is protecting yourself when you create your profile. When …

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Married 10 years only to find out he has a personality disorder

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Red flags: he love bombed me and rush me into moving to his state. Sold my home and rental properties. Red Flag: shortly after getting married he quit his job and worked P/T living off interest earning from the owner finance sale of his home. AND his mother was constantly buying him things and giving him money. (RED FLAG?) Two years married and an affair with younger girl. He begged forgiveness and said he doesn't know what wrong with him. He admitted to using Meth and had been doing so in a low dose each day in order to function. I took him to holistic doctor, as he didn't want any counseling. He withdrew — bed and couch ridden for almost 4 weeks. RED FLAG: he was miraculously …

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After being targeted by a sociopath, self-blame is natural, but misguided

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My motivation for writing "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned"  and Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood was multifaceted, including to help myself and others understand and heal. Understanding and healing is an ongoing process, and I am always learning. Self-blame and victim-blaming are common. Many involved with sociopaths experience self-blaming and are also the target of “victim-blaming.” It’s bad enough when someone we thought cared deeply for us gives us little sympathy and says things like, “How could you have been so naive?” “How did you cause this?” “How could a smart person be so …

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Once I was groomed to be compliant; now I’m reclaiming my own life

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By Eleanor Cowan I picked up my sweet, chubby grandson and cuddled him in my arms. He’d reached up to me and, thrilled to respond, I held him close. But ah, a colorful object on the floor beckoned, and instantly, he wanted down. Wriggling only once and issuing a single sound, he found himself back on the wool carpet crawling towards a plastic lamb-shaped cookie cutter. It claimed his full attention. With no hesitation, he’d signaled his wish and I honored it. Simple as that. Not so in my childhood. Responses to me were, “What do you want now?," "Go away," "Get lost," or, "What a pain in the behind.” So today, to say no when I mean no, or yes when I mean yes, without compromising …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 21: TUNE IN

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/BKheFySDkBQ"] Welcome to SLV101, the top radio station of the year! Interested in tuning in? Watch the session to learn how to catch the frequency for your Self LoVe One-Oh-One station. Once you are tuned in, you will probably be tempted to stay tuned, simply because it feels Oh so good! Do you remember a time when you would wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say “good morning beautiful”? I know it sounds strange, but it feels Good, why do you care how well it sounds? Start giving yourself compliments because it is an important contributor to your self-love recovery. Start treating yourself better, start working on your relationship with …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 20: SHIFT

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/QqDeP1mh6dc"] Répondez, s'il vous plait. “Please reply”, goes the French phrase. I personally love receiving invitations and sending RSVPs, however, when somebody invites me to drama, there is no way I will RSVP! I am now inviting you to share this perspective and think before you sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none. If you choose to call it “returning a favour” because the word “revenge” sounds so mean, I am afraid the outcome will be no different. You have probably heard them say, before you go on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Well, there is a lot of truth to it I believe. Some people go figure it out themselves the …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 19: GIVE

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/J5g8A1HRA9Q"] Let’s take a fresh new look at the word Message together. It seems to be made of two words - mess and age. I am sure you all know what mess is all about, we felt it through all of our five senses - we saw it, we heard it, we touched it, some of us smelled and tasted it. Using our sixth sense now, the voice of intuition, which is or our extrasensory perception, we are able to turn that mess into a mess-age. We age physiologically when we grow old, but we age psychologically when we go through pain. If however, we choose not to Go through pain (that mess), but to Grow through pain, we Age emotionally, meaning we grow strong, take our …

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