[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/1Rx9c_yzIqU"] How do you wake up when you feel traumatised? Your answer is likely to be one of these two - you either cannot fall asleep in the first place, still thinking what the hell happened, or you snooze and keep snoozing, because there doesn’t seem to be any compelling reason to wake up… Some people don’t sleep because of insomnia, some others can’t sleep because of an internet connection but you probably can’t wake up because you are addicted to escaping the reality. All those thoughts, feelings and emotions still keep boiling inside you for the person or people near and dear to your heart that you lost, the valuable connections that you have bu …
Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 9: HOLD ON
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/1CWpqSU3PRA"] If you are like me, you have probably figured out pretty quick that it hurts to let go, but at times it hurts even more to hold on. This practice is not really an understanding of holding on to people or things that matter for us, but rather an interpretation of holding on to the precious sparkling diamond inside us. Throughout this practice together we will find the charcoal that has been inhibiting deep inside us and polish it to make it a precious stone that will receive everyone’s admiration. Drawing parallels with the natural formation of the diamonds underneath the Earth’s surface and sufferings of the lovefraud readers, this pra …
Recovering from marriage to a sociopath: What I found helpful
Every week, a chapter of my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 59: What I Found Most Helpful Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor, lawyer, psychologist, or a licensed therapist. What follows are a few things I found helpful in my journey …
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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 8: ACCEPT
[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSbPofKBl3s&t=400s"] Do you accept that you have parents and siblings or do you mind? Well, we don’t seem to have any choice, do we? There are facts or situations in life that we have no choice, but accept. It is not possible for us to be here on this planet without having parents, even though we cannot predict where the Human Genome Project will take us in the near future…What would happen though if you were to claim you do not have parents, thinking you must be some sort of a transplant by some aliens or you came out from inside a cabbage let’s say?... Even if you were to engage in self-deceptive statements like this, the fact that som …
My husband’s entire family knew what he was, but nobody talked about it
By Eleanor Cowan January 1973 - Quebec At the college where I worked as a secretary, I smiled up at the chubby cherubs fixed along the ancient oak hallway, their alabaster gazes uplifted in hope. I knocked on the chaplain’s door. We’d arranged to meet during my lunch hour. Anxious to hear about the results of his appointment with my fiancé’s mother, I took the same wooden chair Edna sat in only hours before. That morning, my future mother-in-law begged Father Price, the priest booked to officiate our wedding, to dissuade me from marrying her son, Stan. Edna explained that while she liked me, I was emotionally unreliable. I’d been raped and molested. Sometimes I binge drank and my mot …
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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 7: FORGIVE
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/MP1zE87zi48"] I promise to love and forgive, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… so the line goes. Was this a sickness many of us ask ourselves, sometimes with deep emotional wounds of guilt and shame, curious if we have broken those sacred marriage vows? Friends, if you are Innocent and I blame you for a crime that you have committed, you will take me to court and ask for Justice. If however, you are Guilty and I blame you for that crime, you will beg for Mercy. Innocent souls seek justice but those that are guilty ask for mercy. Is this however the case for those souls bestowed with anti-social personality disorders? Justice prevails f …
Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 6: REFLECT
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/O3ZfeZSNLjw"] If there is one skill that all of us mastered since birth, it has to be Sales skills! Straight away we started screaming out loud and announcing to the world that we are Hungry. If you are like me, you probably didn’t give up screaming until you got served those magic liquid drops, and I personally had no intention of giving up on mother’s milk, until I found myself screaming the same scream at the ripe age of 2, but nobody seemed to hear. Eventually my vocal cords got exhausted and I was presented with some alternative nutrition that was supposed to be better for me, because I happened to be a big girl. When it came to toys though, par …
How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?
Lovefraud recently received the following email: I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead "normal" lives (whatever that means). I'm a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack of empathy (particularly …
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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 5: BATHERMOSTAT
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/tFy3E-9i6R4"] If you are like me, you probably don’t even question why the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. It seems like we expect it to happen and we don’t even get curious to question it. It simply is a natural process that happens to be consistent every single day. How about a clock? Have you wondered why do those hands constantly circle to the right? I have never really wondered what they are chasing on and on, but they are consistent too. I know sometimes you and I wish we could stop the time, or go back in time to edit a part of our life, to cut a section of that film, trash it and put the parts back together. But it’s not how it wor …
Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 4: FEEL
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/u9bL2fgvmnA"] Let me ask you a simple question, how are you feeling today? Let me guess your simple answer... it’s probably a four-letter F word. Think about that answer again, FINE! We all say it, we have all memorised it really well, but is it really that simple? Are you really as honest with yourself as I have been with myself giving that answer no matter who asks the question? Besides, do I really have that genuine desire to know how you are feeling right now, honestly? Sometimes we have no choice but to stick to routines, norms and standards only because they seem to be acceptable more than anything. Try expressing your true feelings of hurt, a …