In 2013, Aaron Hernandez, the former standout tight end for the New England Patriots football team, was charged with murdering his friend. Hernandez had a history of violence and infractions with the law, so his behavior appeared to be that of a typical psychopath. For this reason, Lovefraud covered the story: Aaron Hernandez charged with murder; his cousin charged with contempt, on Lovefraud.com. Hernandez was found guilty of the murder on April 15, 2015 and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Two years later, at the age of 27, he hanged himself in prison. An examination of Hernandez' brain found that he suffered from CTE — chronic traumatic encephalopathy. It' …
How being devastated by the sociopath helped me find love
In the course of our two-and-a-half-year relationship, my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least six women, had a child with one of the women, and then, 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Once I learned the truth about his behavior, and realized the depth of his deception, I was totally, completely, crushed. But if I hadn't been shattered by the sociopath, I would not have been able to love as I do now. Is your reaction, "huh?" Let me repeat. It was my experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, that actually enabled me to find the love I always …
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Childhood experiences – including abuse – can alter your DNA
Scientists once thought our genetic blueprint was carved in stone — whatever we inherited from our parents was with us for life. Research over the last few years, however, indicates that this is not the case. Genes can be modified by experience through processes referred to as "epigenetic." This is especially true during childhood. Recent research shows that childhood events, such as the family's socioeconomic status or the absence of a parent, can alter genes responsible for regulating inflammation. Experiences in childhood can alter your DNA for the rest of your life, on ScienceAlert.com. This study dovetails with earlier research showing that child abuse also affects DNA. According to …
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5 steps to recovery from the sociopath (they’re not fast or easy, but the healing is real)
Finally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath. Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more. Now what do you do? How do you move forward? How do you recover? Many of your friends and family tell you, "Just put it behind you. Get over it. Move …
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Why I wrote, Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood
Many of you know me from my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned. Through writing the book and including chapters on Lovefraud, I’ve tried to share the insights I paid such a high price to obtain. For almost twenty years, I was married to someone I now believe is a sociopath. My corrosive, confusing marriage, the toxic divorce, and the ongoing, financially and emotionally punitive post-divorce aftershocks redefined my life in ways I never imagined. I had to understand how my life got so derailed, how my confidence was decimated, and how my identity was almost destroyed. Through my book, I wanted to share what I’d learned in case it …
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My experience with my narc ex boyfriend
Left my ex since almost 4 years now, the hell I went through with him, it's a miracle I'm still here. Even though I've left he still pops up here and there doing the hoovering manuever, which is well known for borderline narcs. He would use the silent treatment on me and it drove me crazy as at that time. I had no idea about the narcissistic personality disorder one can have. I was pregnant with his child, I left my country to live with him in his country. He promised he love and all the wonderful things in life and always used to coo about how he would like to see me pregnant with a baby bump and all, so when it finally happened he blackmailed me into getting an abortion. He literally …
5 steps to avoid being taken in a romance scam — beware of fake documentation
Fake documentation is easy to create, and romance scammers know it. I recently received the following email from a reader in Denmark whom we'll call "Grete": In december 2015 i got to know an engineer from New Jersey. He claimed he was from New Jersey. He got a contract from Shell. The job was in Ukraine. We spoke on the phone every day. He made me believe I was the one. I trusted him. When he arrived in Ukraine, his problems started. He said that his credit card didn’t work. His bank accountant send me a collateral letter. I sent the letter to my bank. They thought it was an original. Unfortunately it wasn’t. I have given him 17.500$ I contacted FBI fraud center and sent them a …
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The sociopath is a neighbor of a family member!! Ugh!!!!
First, I would like to say how beneficial reading the Lovefraud site has been. It has really pulled me through some rough moments of dealing with the sociopath that I was romantically linked to. He and I were in a LDR relationship (or so I thought) for a year and a half. I knew something was off right away, but I thought it was fear of commitment on his part or depression. He did all of the textbook things a sociopath would do (before I knew what one was.) He blew hot and cold, would ignore me for weeks, try to make me jealous, disappear on special days even when I was in town, and so much more.The final straw was him ignoring me when I was in town and then basically inviting me over for a …
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Be careful–sociopaths think boundaries and laws don’t apply to them
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.  I've also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 51E: The Earthquake Strikes Jessica was spending a lot of time at Paul’s but had not officially moved in with him and Linda. One day, prior to Paul and I going to court for the first time …
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When am I going to stop being angry?
By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT After being in a relationship with a sociopath, clients are often conflicted by the idea of forgiveness as recommended by their faith system (I checked and all the world’s major religions admonish to forgive) as opposed to the perpetual anger they feel. As therapists, we never pressure someone who has been abused to forgive their perpetrator, because we don’t want to minimize the impact of that abuse. While someone is moving through the emotions of healing from abuse and trauma, they are going to experience quite a bit of anger, even rage, which can hang around for a long time. Is there such a thing as having too much anger? So when and how do we know how to get …