Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Thomas." Names have been changed. The First Tale: The girlfriend's ex Last we communicated I was interested in getting your advice on how to handle the ex-husband of my girlfriend and the terror he rained down upon her. You may remember he was a lawyer who knew how to deal with the law and use it to his advantage as a shield enabling him to be even more effective as a sociopath. The threats, the lying, the manipulation and the poison that he spread was unconscionable and designed to hurt and ruin the lives of others unless they did what he wanted. I was so taken aback by his unrelenting agg …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Addicted to my relationship with a sociopath
Editor's Note: The letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Gwenda." My name is Gwenda and I am 27 years old. I'd like to share my story with you in hopes of getting some advice, help, or possibly sharing my story with someone going through this that could possible help them and they can relate to. Last year I started dating a guy who I believed to be the man of my dreams to discover I was dating a demon sociopath. When I met him he seemed like the most normal guy, told me he was in construction, going back to school to become a helicopter pilot, had lived in so many parts of the world, was so cultured, and extremely good looking and charming. He really made …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My experiences as a private-duty caretaker of a disabled sociopath
Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Garth.” I've been in the medical field since 1984. I've been a Nurses Aid/private-duty caretaker for a disabled patient since 2009. It took me three years to realize exhibits all the traits of being a sociopath. I came across your site and plan to get your book. Your site and short videos really helped me see him for who he is. I am still with him but I am no longer stressed about it. I stay my distance and only care for him in short periods through the day. I don't know how his wife has dealt with him so long. I feel suckered that my patient seduced me into his illness and plays these emot …
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LETTER LOVEFRAUD: Countermeasures to deal with the sociopathic ex
Editor's note: Here is a letter from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "GI Joe." This reader is in the military, so July 4th seemed an appropriate time to post this article. First, I want to acknowledge him and all members of the military for their service. Secondly, the answers to his questions have to do with freedom. My ex-wife and I divorced in 2012. The marriage was a nightmare that lasted more than 11 years and left me financially ruined, emotionally distressed and alone. To make matters worse, my ex moved out of state with my children, making it impossible for me to see my children on a regular basis. Since I was in a financial hurt locker, it took me years before I was able to …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Can you count the love bombing red flags?
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by reader whom we'll call “ProudMom.” This was a text conversation between my 19 yr old daughter and a guy she'd only known at work for like 2 weeks. He's already gotten her flowers, a wallet from her favorite superhero and it contained a special $2.00 bill inside of it. She saw the red flags but after making up excuses 3x previously, she was kind of worn down and was going to just humor him with one date so there wouldn't be gossip. She only saw the red flags because her sociopath father tried to kill both of us and we took classes. The creeper reminded her of her father, who was also pushy and also always carried the coveted $2.00 bi …
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Why we need to talk about our experiences with sociopaths
Most of us at Lovefraud are here because we've been conned, duped, deceived and betrayed by a sociopath. Once we finally figure out what we are dealing with, many of us do not tell other people what really happened. We do not talk about our experiences with sociopaths. After all, it's embarrassing to admit that no, we didn't see it coming, and yes, we fell for the scam. And if we do venture to describe the sociopath's true behavior, we may be met by disbelief. "What? That charming person couldn't possibly have done that. You must have misinterpreted." We quickly learn that people do not understand what we are talking about. Either they don't believe us, or ostracize us. So we stop …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopathic ex left me with only a bare grasp on reality
Editor's Note: This letter was submitted to Lovefraud by a reader whom we'll call “Dolina.” The best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid them altogether but that isn't always possible and of course, you have to realise that is what he is before he takes your brain and turns it into a bouncy-ball. And that they're not really as fun as the TV makes them look. It might be you. It could be even now, you realise something is horribly wrong with your relationship but you can't exactly think what it is. That even though he never outright says anything concrete, he has a way of showing you how useless, helpless, stupid and ugly you are. You're lucky to have him, he knows that and makes sure th …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Life with a sociopath ends in death
Editor's note: Following is sad news from the Lovefraud reader "Hoping to Heal." Several years ago, I was introduced to a young vivacious couple. Both were very attractive and successful. They were charming and fun to be around. Both had lots of energy and seemed to be enjoying life to its fullest. They seemed to adore one another. While I'd never met the man before, he did have a reputation of being a real Ladies Man. He had been married before and had many relationships that he left abruptly. But, he had it All ”¦ good looks, charisma and a good job, and women were beating his door down. At the time I met this couple, I assumed he had "grown up" and gotten his act together. They looked …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How can I help my sister?
Editor's Note: This letter was submitted by Lovefraud reader we'll call "Elizabella." Other names in this letter have been changed. I've spent hours online searching for specific suggestions that apply to this particular situation, but am still mostly at a loss regarding how to handle it and am desperate for help. I'll try to be as succinct as possible, but there is so much to this story. I left an emotionally abusive marriage after 20 years, so I'm very familiar with how these "relationships" work and I am now convinced that my sister, Lisa, is in such a marriage, although she refuses to admit it; she has only hinted at it in the past. She has been married to him (I'll call him Ralph) …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: People will never understand I am married to a sociopath
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by reader whom we'll call “Juniper.” I have been married for 22 years and have five children. I realized the first year of our marriage that I had married a "psycho" but thought I could help him with my unconditional love and support. He is completely controlling, manipulative, abusive, selfish, and has never shown empathy or compassion to me or our children. He doesn't have relationships with his kids because he chooses not to bond with them. I stayed with him because I believed there must be some good somewhere in him, after all, he was a born again Christian, knew almost every verse in the Bible from memory and sometimes preached on …
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