How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Having a child with a sociopath, I am no longer a mother

//  by //  45 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who we'll call "WalkonMom." I used to think that "six" was my lucky number. And sometimes, I used to remind myself to show gratitude for six little things, like, the sound of New England leaves as they rustle underfoot, the first snowfall with really huge flakes, each breath flowing in and out, especially when you recognize that you are free for the first time, the scent of your baby's head as you cradle and rock her in your grandmother's rocking chair, the preciousness of each holiday, along with the sacred spirit of wonder that fills you as you see your child grow from year to year. Falling in love, and realizing …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Having a child with a sociopath, I am no longer a motherRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Just a gigolo

//  by //  17 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Esther." I have experienced so many disturbing relationships since I left my psychopath former husband. I thought relationships could not be any more dysfunctional than my marriage. What I am now discovering is that I am a magnet to these predators. This site and many others have helped me to understand how I doubt my fear response, second guess my feelings and am actually delusional when I project onto others the psychological work that I have done to clear my ego defensiveness, blame, shame and guilt. I want to believe that others will work with me, be kind and Christian. I have found this to be a …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Just a gigoloRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My personal encounter with sociopaths within the system

//  by //  11 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Robert in Seattle." It happened to me over a period of several years while my first wife and I were divorcing and fighting over custody of our two kids. She managed to game her lawyer, the child advocates office, the judge and most other people along the way. The only thing she couldn't game was the MMPI test that my psychologist conducted under court order (at my request and that I had to pay for on my own). While short of actually just coming right out and declaring it, the psychologist conducting our tests identified her scores as strong traits of borderline personality disorder …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My personal encounter with sociopaths within the systemRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can honestly say to a victim, ‘I understand how you feel’

//  by //  17 Comments

Editor's note: This Lovefraud reader formerly posted under the name of "Adelle." Her articles include "A thank you note to my sociopath" and "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it." In the past I have written under the name of Adelle in an effort to keep my stalker from finding me. I dated this man and lived with him for about two years; he knows one of my passions is writing. I've written a few articles that have been published; he knows my style so it didn't take him long to figure out I was “Adelle.” The fact that while I was still living with him I would get my support from Lovefraud also made it easy to find my writings. He knows a lot about me; of course he does ”¦ that is what soci …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can honestly say to a victim, ‘I understand how you feel’Read More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Destruction of our lives through family courts

//  by //  47 Comments

Editor's note: The following email was sent by a woman whom we'll call "Eralyn." I have been "lurking" (I guess it's called) your site for quite some time. I want to thank you for your website as I am grateful to see people who know and understand the insanity of all of this. I have decided to write to you as I read the posts of women who have very young children with a sociopath and they sound so much like me a decade ago that I cannot in good conscience keep quiet. While I don't want to cause any more fear than they are already living with, I do want them to be warned and keep their guard up. They need to know the way things are going in the court system down the road. Poking h …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Destruction of our lives through family courtsRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is What Five Months No Contact Looks Like

//  by //  116 Comments

Editor's Note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Snow White." She previously wrote "He is not Prince Charming, and you are not Snow White." After months of pursuit and ultimate seduction by a psychopath, which eventually lead to an affair with this man, I can now honestly see that I am making my way down the road to recovery. When I first started to open my eyes and began noticing red flags in the psychopath's behavior, coupled with the deep sadness I was experiencing about ending my marriage, I took the first gigantic step of actually listening to MY feelings. Even though the love bombing was so intense and the psychopathic bond well established to the point …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is What Five Months No Contact Looks LikeRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopath

//  by //  28 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was sent by the reader who posts as Opal Rose. July 24, 2012, was my 30th wedding anniversary. I found the Lovefraud web site in August 2009 after finding a directory on my computer put there by my husband while his computer was being repaired. Unbelievable and worse than I could have ever imagined — porn, violence-against-women-porn, sex dating sites for college age women, e-mails to specific responders to ads. The dude was busy. A frantic visit to my workplace Employee Assistance Program gave me the concept of “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” but subsequent searches led me to the checklist for “Sociopath.” I distinctly remember my jaw dropping whe …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind

//  by //  79 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Filippa." I've been reading Lovefraud for years. I've also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, "I'll show you how to screw over an ex-wife." Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out ”¦ releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to manipulate the legal system to harass me or my children. I gave up $150K for full legal and physical custody. He …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bindRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I feel stupid that I was blind

//  by //  35 Comments

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Roger."I am writing this from Tokyo, Japan and would like to tell you about my experience with a person that "conned" me.Last year I experienced having a very short relationship with a lady that fits the description of being a sociopath: has no heart, no conscience and no remorse. In addition, now I know that she thought nothing of lying, cheating and stealing my money!I met this lady, who is a full-time lecturer at a university here in Tokyo (as am I) at a dinner party in June last year. It was arranged by a person whom I know (and trusted) and his wife, and they were trying play "Cupid." He, too, is a professor at a …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I feel stupid that I was blindRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Can you help a woman who is trying to hold on?

//  by //  26 Comments

Editor's note: I received this email a few days ago from a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Larissa." At first I declined to publish it, because Larissa is raw with pain, to the point of seriously considering suicide, and I was afraid that it would trigger other readers. She said she was going to a hospital for help, if she could find someone to watch her dogs. Well, she found a dog-sitter. She went to the hospital. The hospital sent her home, telling her to see a psychiatrist. This woman is in need of support. She needs to be heard. She needs to be understood. Therefore, I am publishing her letter. If you are raw with pain yourself, it is probably best that you don't read it. But if …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Can you help a woman who is trying to hold on?Read More