Explaining the sociopath

I was recently interviewed by an 8th grade student who wanted to know how sociopaths think. She interviewed me on Zoom as part of a school project. I was very impressed with her questions. If we all educated ourselves about how sociopaths think like this student did, we would avoid a lot of pain.Here are nine of her questions — and the answers.1. How did you first learn about sociopaths?I married a man who turned out to be a sociopath. This con man took $225,000 from me, cheated with at least six women during our 2.5-year relationship, had a child with one of the women, and then 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy.As I w …

9 questions from an 8th grade student about how sociopaths thinkRead More

Checklists describing the symptoms of sociopaths highlight what they do — lie, blame others, love bomb their romantic targets, pursue sex. But you should also pay attention to negative symptoms — normal human behaviors that sociopaths don’t do.One behavior that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re dealing with a sociopath is love bombing — the person is showering you with attention and affection, wants to be with you all the time, tells you how wonderful you are. Sociopaths often, although not always, do this when they’re trying to seduce a romantic partner. They can also use a modified version of the strategy in other types of relationships, such as flattering the boss at work. Ot …

7 negative symptoms of sociopaths: What they don’t doRead More

UPDATED FOR 2024. "Best sex ever!" that's how countless Lovefraud readers have described how sociopaths are hot in bed.People have told me that they know the sociopath is bad for them, and they need to end their involvement, but they don't want to give up the sex!Other people have told me that they're afraid they'll never find another partner who is so sexually exciting!I specifically asked about sex in three Lovefraud surveys. How do people who were in romantic relationships with people whom they now believe to be sociopaths rate the sex?In the Romantic Partner Survey (2011) 75% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.In the Female Sociopath Survey …

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The sociopath may tell you that you’re mentally losing it. Or make you feel like everything is your fault. Or accuse you of cheating. Here’s what you need to know — none of it is about you. These are typical sociopath manipulation strategies that they use with everyone. I hear about them all the time.I talk to a lot of people about their experiences with sociopaths. Often, they tell me something outrageous, something unbelievable, something shocking that he or she has done, and I respond with, “Yeah, they all do that.”This causes two reactions in the person telling me the story. The first is shock — they can’t believe that so many people engage in the same behavior. And the second is relief — …

Typical sociopath manipulation strategies that I always hear aboutRead More

UPDATED FOR 2024. When you finally figure out that you're dealing with sociopaths, your state of mind is complete and utter shock. On the one hand, you are relieved to know that it's not you; something is definitely wrong with them. On the other hand, you still can't wrap your brain around their behavior.It's mind-boggling, and here's why:You probably caught some of the lies as you went along, but the sociopaths explained them away. Then you learned that the entire nature of the involvement, the entire reason they are in your life, is complete fabrication. It was never about romance, or shared goals, or family. It was about exploitation.Not only do the sociopaths exploit you and everyone …

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UPDATED FOR 2024. Once a psychopath, antisocial or narcissist is an adult, there is no therapy, and no medication, which will make him or her into a normal, loving person. This malignant person will not change.You may find this shocking. In these days of medical miracles, it's hard to believe that there is no treatment for someone who, on the surface, appears to be so normal.So why won't malignant people change? Here are seven reasons:For any therapy to work, you have to want to change. Malignants don't think there is anything wrong with them. Although you and other people are distressed by their behavior, they aren't. Therefore, they have absolutely no motivation to do the hard work of …

7 reasons why psychopaths, antisocials and narcissists will not changeRead More

UPDATED FOR 2023. Most sociopaths are really good at proclaiming their love. They often say the words "I love you" so quickly that it surprises us — how can they already feel that way? We just met!When we question them, they respond, "You're the one I've been waiting for all my life," or, "I just know that we're perfect for each other," or something equally endearing.We want to believe them, so we do. They keep pouring it on, until we fall in love with them. The big problem, however, is that our love is real and theirs is fake.Sociopaths are incapable of love. Even though they sound sincere and convincing, they literally do not have the internal wiring that makes it possible for them to feel …

10 translations of ‘I love you,’ when spoken by a sociopathRead More

UPDATED FOR 2023. If you're struggling to get over an encounter with a sociopath — whether a romantic relationship or some other involvement — keep this in mind: They are losers.They are not worth any emotional energy that you are spending on them, or any pain that you feel. Here's 10 reasons why: 1 Sociopaths cannot love the way you doThe root of serious personality disorders — antisocial, narcissistic, borderline and psychopathy — is an impaired ability to love. These people cannot feel empathy like you do. They are not interested in caregiving — a critical component of real love. People diagnosed as antisocials or  psychopaths are not capable of love at all.2. Sociopaths can …

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UPDATED FOR 2023. Why is it that psychopaths frequently get away with cheating, abuse, backstabbing, fraud, theft, and other nefarious activities — even murder? Here are 10 strategies that these exploiters may employ to escape accountability.They lie while looking you right in they eye, without a trace of nervousness or guilt. If they're caught in a lie, they easily lie to cover the lie. It's no wonder they are believed.They say they would NEVER do such a thing, and HOW can you possibly accuse THEM of such behavior? Everyone doubts you, and you even doubt yourself.If that's you, they ruin your credibility, often starting the smear campaign long before you even realize what they've done to y …

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