Explaining the sociopath

You probably have financial assets — bank accounts, credit cards, a good job, your own home, investments or pensions. If you’re also looking for a dating partner, know that having financial assets makes you a nice, juicy target.Sociopaths often hook up with romantic partners specifically for the purpose of draining your financial assets. Even if you’re not wealthy, and you just have regular income from a job, Social Security or disability income, these lowlifes will try to take whatever you’ve got.I learned this the hard way. When I met my ex-husband, who was age 55 at the time (although he lied about his age), I owned my home, was making good money from my writing business and putting money …

Protecting your financial assets from devious romantic partnersRead More

By Joanie Bentz, BS, M.Ed., LBS, CCBPBullies come in all shapes and sizes, and can be anyone in your family, circle of friends or work environment. But how do we define a serial bully? The word serial means episodical, or appearing regularly. “A serial bully is a type of person who tends to try and constantly harass or offend people by trying to become more dominant and controlling over them,” according to Depression-guide.com.The key idea here is “constantly harass.” It’s a pattern of behavior that occurs in intervals and successively as a means to some type of gratification, which varies, depending on the bully’s goals. To be clear, the serial bu …

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UPDATED FOR 2024: When we finally figure out that just about everything a sociopath told us is a lie, we are shocked. How can anyone lie so fluently? And why did we fall for it? Here are 10 reasons why the sociopath's lies seem so believable: Sociopaths tell you how honest they are Early on, sociopaths may tell you how much they value honesty, and that truthfulness is the foundation of all relationships. Their objective is to convince you of their trustworthiness, so that when you encounter their lies, you don't see them. Sociopaths lie while they look directly into your eyes Some experts say that if people look up and to their right while speaking, it's a sign that they are …

10 reasons why sociopaths’ lies seem so believableRead More

I was recently interviewed by an 8th grade student who wanted to know how sociopaths think. She interviewed me on Zoom as part of a school project. I was very impressed with her questions. If we all educated ourselves about how sociopaths think like this student did, we would avoid a lot of pain.Here are nine of her questions — and the answers.1. How did you first learn about sociopaths?I married a man who turned out to be a sociopath. This con man took $225,000 from me, cheated with at least six women during our 2.5-year relationship, had a child with one of the women, and then 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy.As I w …

9 questions from an 8th grade student about how sociopaths thinkRead More

Checklists describing the symptoms of sociopaths highlight what they do — lie, blame others, love bomb their romantic targets, pursue sex. But you should also pay attention to negative symptoms — normal human behaviors that sociopaths don’t do.One behavior that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re dealing with a sociopath is love bombing — the person is showering you with attention and affection, wants to be with you all the time, tells you how wonderful you are. Sociopaths often, although not always, do this when they’re trying to seduce a romantic partner. They can also use a modified version of the strategy in other types of relationships, such as flattering the boss at work. Ot …

7 negative symptoms of sociopaths: What they don’t doRead More

UPDATED FOR 2024. "Best sex ever!" that's how countless Lovefraud readers have described how sociopaths are hot in bed.People have told me that they know the sociopath is bad for them, and they need to end their involvement, but they don't want to give up the sex!Other people have told me that they're afraid they'll never find another partner who is so sexually exciting!I specifically asked about sex in three Lovefraud surveys. How do people who were in romantic relationships with people whom they now believe to be sociopaths rate the sex?In the Romantic Partner Survey (2011) 75% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.In the Female Sociopath Survey …

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The sociopath may tell you that you’re mentally losing it. Or make you feel like everything is your fault. Or accuse you of cheating. Here’s what you need to know — none of it is about you. These are typical sociopath manipulation strategies that they use with everyone. I hear about them all the time.I talk to a lot of people about their experiences with sociopaths. Often, they tell me something outrageous, something unbelievable, something shocking that he or she has done, and I respond with, “Yeah, they all do that.”This causes two reactions in the person telling me the story. The first is shock — they can’t believe that so many people engage in the same behavior. And the second is relief — …

Typical sociopath manipulation strategies that I always hear aboutRead More

UPDATED FOR 2024. When you finally figure out that you're dealing with sociopaths, your state of mind is complete and utter shock. On the one hand, you are relieved to know that it's not you; something is definitely wrong with them. On the other hand, you still can't wrap your brain around their behavior.It's mind-boggling, and here's why:You probably caught some of the lies as you went along, but the sociopaths explained them away. Then you learned that the entire nature of the involvement, the entire reason they are in your life, is complete fabrication. It was never about romance, or shared goals, or family. It was about exploitation.Not only do the sociopaths exploit you and everyone …

9 reasons why sociopaths blow your mindRead More