"It feels like I have a target on me," said a woman who had repeatedly caught the eye of sociopathic men. "You do," I replied. “So do I. So do lots of us.” Believe Who They Are When They Show You The First Time Why are empathetic people especially likely to get trapped in long-term relationships with sociopaths? We stay in these relationships too long, in part, because we discount and misattribute malicious, selfish, destructive behavior. We give people the benefit of the doubt. We have to stop doing this! Or at least, we need to become far more selective about when we do it and with whom we do it. We need to take Maya Angelou's words to heart — “When someone shows you who they are …
Married To A Sociopath — How It All Began
My Story Since ending what turned into a toxic marriage, suffering through a divorce from hell, and enduring severe post-divorce emotional, legal, and financial aftershocks, I have educated myself about sociopaths. It is clear to me now that my ex-husband and the father of my children is a sociopath. By sharing my story and painfully gained insights in my book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned, and on the lovefraud.com website, I hope to help others identify some of the markers that indicate someone in their life might be a sociopath as well as to recognize and offset the qualities in oneself—as in all of us—that encourage us to give …
What I, as a Highly Sensitive Person, learned the hard way about sociopaths
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email froma reader who posts as "emotionallyraped." She previously wrote the blog post "Highly Sensitive People are perfect targets for sociopaths." Obviously, anyone with a conscience is a potential victim for the sociopath. Among people with a conscience, I would say a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) would be the easiest to detect, right? So, if HSP's are more easily spotted among the population with conscience, then would you agree that HSP's are likely a sociopath's most common target? Assuming you agree, would it not make sense that socios would be experts at feigning the emotions and actions of Highly Sensitive …
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My close call with a sex-obsessed cult
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Seekeroflight" sends us the following story related to her almost being dragged into a cult. In Lovefraud's view, cult leaders are sociopaths on steroids, and engage in mind control over cult members. There is a story from my past that I've wanted to share somewhere publicly, and I am thinking this might be a good place to do so. It doesn't deal with a sociopath directly, but it is a type of situation that those of us vulnerable to sociopaths also may be vulnerable to. I certainly was. It also deals with a specific group which is incredibly dangerous, but of whom there is almost zero knowledge of within the United States even though they are practically …
Mission almost impossible: Finding mass shooters before they kill
It's become all too familiar all of a sudden, someone opens fire on people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the aftermath, the question is asked: Didn't anyone know that the shooter was disturbed? Sometimes, unfortunately, the answer is no. Matthew Goldenberg, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, explains why it's so hard to identify potential mass murderers. Can we pick out the mass shooters before they kill? on LATimes.com. A guide to mass shootings in America, on MotherJones.com. …
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Do narcissists make better presidents?
In a recent article in the New York Times, Scott O. Lilienfeld (president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy) and Ashley L. Watts discussed their research into presidential narcissism and success in office. They estimated the narcissism levels of all United States presidents, up to George W. Bush. The two highest scorers on "grandiose narcissism" were Theodore Roosevelt and Lyndon B. Johnson.They correlated presidential narcissism with surveys of presidential performance developed by historians. The result of the study: "Grandiose narcissism" was associated with overall presidential success, but also with unethical behaviors. The Narcissist in Chief, on NYTimes.com. Link …
History buff believes Philadelphia serial killer may have been Jack the Ripper
H. H. Holmes killed at least 27 people and possibly many more before he was hanged in a Philadelphia prison in 1896, according to a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Before coming to Philadelphia, Holmes built a hotel in Chicago now known as "The Murder Castle." It was equipped with secret tunnels and staircases, gas chambers and more devices for torture and death. Mark Potts, a history buff from Berks County, Pennsylvania, speculates that Holmes may have also been "Jack the Ripper," who murdered five prostitutes in London in 1888. Was Phila. killer Jack the Ripper? on Philly.com. …
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How to protect yourself online
The Internet is now an integral part of our lives, so it's important to know how to protect ourselves online. The U.S.government has created a great website, OnGuardOnline.gov, with all kinds of information on exactly how to do that. Lovefraud strongly recommends that you take a look at it watch the videos and read some articles with great tips for staying safe. Here are a few good ones: Common online scams Computer security Using IP cameras safely Resource provided by a Lovefraud reader …
My new heroes: Ashley Madison cheating site hackers
AshleyMadison.com, a dating website for married cheaters, has been hacked. The website's slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair.” Now, the personal details of 37 million members, including nude photos and sexual fantasies, have been compromised. This is a moral dilemma for me. Of course, hacking a website is criminal. But as far as I'm concerned, all of those cheaters are getting what they deserve. The hackers, a person or group calling itself the “Impact Team,” has demanded that the website owner, a company called Avid Life Media, take down Ashley Madison (AM), and another hookup site that it owns called Established Men (EM) and Cougar Life. Here's the statement from the Impact …
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FBI asks for help in finding 240 teen sextortion victims of Lucas Michael Chansler
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ixAYkkub4Pw"] Lucas Michael Chansler threatened and blackmailed 350 teenaged girls into sending them explicit images of themselves, eventually collecting 80,000 images and videos of child pornography. Chansler, 31, of Julington Creek, Florida, pretended to be a 15-year-old skateboarding boy when the contacted the girls. He is now serving 105 years in a federal prison for his crimes. But many of his victims remain unidentified. So the FBI is asking the public's help in identifying additional victims. His screen names included "HELLOthere" and "goodlookingguy313." If you have information that may help identify victims of Lucas Chansler or believe you may have …
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