How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The professional sociopath: an embezzler and tax cheat

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte." I was married for almost 28 years. As the years went on, our marriage changed--especially after we had children. I noticed some lapses in parenting--carelessness, not following through on routines, etc. (Though I must say I was not aware of what a good marriage should look like, coming as I did from a narcissistic family background. I put up with way too much bad behavior, even initially.) I began to realize my husband was immature and irresponsible. He also was controlling, especially about money. I often felt gas-lighted by my husband: He would agree to something, then deny it, or spin it. …

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Do you speak psychopath? navigating and exposing disordered communication

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Anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of disordered communication knows that it can produce an array of madness and negativity. That's the point, after all. But, the more experience we have with it, the more we learn that it is all the same. The players may change, but the messages remain identical. Identifying the fact that the correspondence is, in fact, disordered is the first step to handling it positively. The next is to learn to read between the lines of the written word vomit to understand the actual meaning. When we can, it's liberating. Individuals high in psychopathic traits want no one to be happy. They are easily set off by the most minor of circumstances. They torture …

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‘Justified’ highlights the differences between killers and psychopaths

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One of my favorite television shows ever, Justified, just came to an end. After six seasons, the series finale of this smart, sophisticated crime drama, set in redneck Kentucky, aired on Tuesday, April 14, 2015. That morning, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran an article by Tirdad Derakhshani previewing the grand finale. Derakhshani wrote that the main character, U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens (played by Timothy Olyphant), had "the best lawman swagger since John Wayne." I agree. Here's how Derakhshani described the marshall: "A latter-day cowboy who inhabits a strange, surreal version of Harlan County, Ky., Raylan is a gunslinger for the ages. One who kills. Again. And again. He's more of a …

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Why I wrote ‘The One That Got Away’

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By Brigitte Knowles It was 2011, a good year. I made $235,000.00 in my business that year and was at the top of my game. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend in Delray Beach, Florida. My life was only about work and I did not realize that I was out of balance. I had not gone out to a club for years and at 55, I was not a frequent dater, celibate for 5 years. I was ripe for the picking. I did not know that there were Financial Predators in this world. I was targeted by an Italian man who professed true love and wanted to do real estate business with me. He asked for down payments to buy distressed housing in West Palm Beach. We visited several with two real estate agents, mine and his. …

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Her sociopathic husband: lies, cheating, pornography, burglary, and one day, she fears, revenge

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gemma." I married my sociopath after a whirlwind long-distance relationship. He swept me off my feet, seemed to love everything I loved. He introduced me to his family, I found soon after he had been married three times before. He said he married his first wife because she was pregnant, his second to get her into the country (she was Columbian), and he married his third wife to give her a feeling of security. I later found out he had cheated on every one of them. He told me he loved me and had saved the best 'til last. Things were OK to begin with, then I started noticing his control. He would tell …

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Study suggests neurofeedback to treat criminal psychopaths

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Experts generally believe that once psychopaths are adults, it's pretty much impossible to rehabilitate their disorder. However, Dr. Lilian Konicar of Eberhard-Karls University in Germany recently conducted a study in which they taught hardened criminals to control their brain activity using neurofeedback. According to Real Clear Science, Dr. Konicar is "conservatively optimistic." A new treatment for criminal psychopaths? on RealClearScience.com.   …

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The Borderline Male ‘Psycho’: 7 Red Flags

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[youtube_sc url=https://youtu.be/EhSxySoZV-w] By Jade Joddle The 7 red flags of a psycho as represented in the animation above are based on observations of family life as I was growing up in an unstable home. My mother had an extremely turbulent dating life, and attracted men with obsessive and stalkerish tendencies as a repeating pattern. For me as a child, home was most definitely not safe. The 'psycho' you see represented in the video is a borderline male who has deep emotional wounds in relation to abandonment. He lives in a permanent state of emotional conflict because more than anything he wants to be in a loving relationship, but yet the very act of getting close to someone …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A sociopath’s power over uninformed humans

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who calls herself, "Emotionallyraped." You meet him (or her). He is charming and kind and exciting. He takes an interest in you and you feel special. He studies you. He learns your likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. He becomes exactly who you want him to be. He mirrors you. He is a chameleon. He tells you things you want to hear. He is intense. He quickly declares his love for you. He talks about plans for the future. He convinces you that you are meant to be together. This love is like nothing else you've ever experienced. You are high with happiness. You feel sorry for other people who don't have the love …

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Jail employee who had sex with an inmate calls him a ‘sociopath’

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Jill Curry, a former employee of the Washington County Jail in Hillsboro, Oregon, was convicted of having sex with an inmate and sentenced to more than four years in prison. After the sentencing, Curry released a statement calling the inmate, a "sociopath." "He made me feel like I was good," she wrote. "Most of the time, I felt like I was in a trance. Like there was no reality around me." Third jail worker had sex with same inmate, says convicted ex-employee Jill Curry, on OregonLive.com. Link sent by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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Abusers are hiding behind S&M

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernadette." In early 2012, I met a self-described strong alpha male on a dating site. His background was very impressive a vice president at a large IT firm, author, beautiful home, appeared educated, wonderful sense of humor. He would draw you in, he was what I thought I was looking for, what I thought I needed. Our early phone conversations would last for hours and the text messaging was never ending. He was a protector, he would always be a gentleman, keep me safe, what girl would not want that. I fell for him, it seemed like love. What I thought was the best day of my life, became my hell. My …

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