As you read the list of key symptoms of a psychopath, you feel like you've been punched in the gut. Check, check, check the individual who has been making you crazy has all, or almost of all, of the traits. In shock, you realize that you have a psychopath in your life. You've seen the individual's glib and superficial charm, lack of empathy, lack of remorse. You knew he or she was deceitful, but now you suspect that every statement this person ever made may have been a lie. “How can he do that?” you ask. “What was she thinking?” Steve Becker, LCSW, a longtime Lovefraud author, has just come out with a book that explains what goes on in the mind of a psychopath. It's called, The Inner World …
Reader spots Red Flags of Love Fraud in a woman he meets on a dating site
Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Evan.” I'm coming to Lovefraud again because I'm pretty sure I have just met another sociopath through a religious online dating website. She seems too good to be true, so I think she is ... I'm just wondering what the best way to end the very short relationship would be. Red Flag Reminders: Charisma and Charm Sudden Soulmates Sexual magnetism Love bombing Blames others for everything Lies and gaps in the story Intense eye contact Moves fast to hook up Pity play Jekyll and Hyde personality Facts: - I contacted her via the dating website on Monday (4 days ago she already wants to meet and has told me what feels like too …
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What makes a psychopath, and why they don’t change
America's attention in recent weeks was focused on the Hollywood-worthy escape from prison by two convicted murderers Richard Matt and David Sweat. Matt is now dead. Sweat was shot, captured, and is now under guard at the Albany Medical Center in Albany, New York. The media have referred to both of these men a psychopaths. Looking at their crimes, I agree. Sweat was convicted of murdering Kevin Tarsia, Broome County Sheriff's Deputy, in 2002. But he didn't just shoot the sheriff. Sweat ambushed Tarsia in a town park, shot him multiple times and then ran him over with a car. Here's the story: David Sweat's brutal path to prison, on PressConnects.com. Richard Matt had a lifelong history …
Psychiatrist explains how prison employee may have been “groomed” to help inmates escape
In an interview on CNN today, Forensic Psychiatrist Dr. Michael Welner spoke of the female prison employee, Joyce Mitchell, who is alleged to have helped the two New York inmates escape. Lovefraud readers might find healing in what he had to say. He said that there may not be any particular vulnerability in a victim of what he terms “emotional hacking.” He states the greatest risk factors are “access and time.” “We need to appreciate the vulnerability with prison employees the way we do our children with pedophiles,” Welner says. He points out that, “We all see what we need to see in other people.” Prison workers need to regard the humanity of inmates, he says, and this regard makes them …
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The Opposite of the Sociopath is the Libertarian
By John Hunt, MD All who read Lovefraud.com know that sociopaths lie, cheat and steal, manipulate, control, defraud. Sociopaths seek out positions of power over others. The low functioning sociopath does this on a small scale—just ruining the life of an unsuspecting spouse, perhaps. The high functioning sociopath does this on a much grander scale, perhaps through the political system—ruining a country. Sociopaths seek power. What better way to accomplish this than through politics? Think how much politicians have to lie to get elected. It is hard for a good person to get elected, in part because they don't lie well. Sociopaths lie with practiced ease and no guilt. They concentrate themselves …
The professional sociopath: an embezzler and tax cheat
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte." I was married for almost 28 years. As the years went on, our marriage changed--especially after we had children. I noticed some lapses in parenting--carelessness, not following through on routines, etc. (Though I must say I was not aware of what a good marriage should look like, coming as I did from a narcissistic family background. I put up with way too much bad behavior, even initially.) I began to realize my husband was immature and irresponsible. He also was controlling, especially about money. I often felt gas-lighted by my husband: He would agree to something, then deny it, or spin it. …
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Do you speak psychopath? navigating and exposing disordered communication
Anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of disordered communication knows that it can produce an array of madness and negativity. That's the point, after all. But, the more experience we have with it, the more we learn that it is all the same. The players may change, but the messages remain identical. Identifying the fact that the correspondence is, in fact, disordered is the first step to handling it positively. The next is to learn to read between the lines of the written word vomit to understand the actual meaning. When we can, it's liberating. Individuals high in psychopathic traits want no one to be happy. They are easily set off by the most minor of circumstances. They torture …
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‘Justified’ highlights the differences between killers and psychopaths
One of my favorite television shows ever, Justified, just came to an end. After six seasons, the series finale of this smart, sophisticated crime drama, set in redneck Kentucky, aired on Tuesday, April 14, 2015. That morning, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran an article by Tirdad Derakhshani previewing the grand finale. Derakhshani wrote that the main character, U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens (played by Timothy Olyphant), had "the best lawman swagger since John Wayne." I agree. Here's how Derakhshani described the marshall: "A latter-day cowboy who inhabits a strange, surreal version of Harlan County, Ky., Raylan is a gunslinger for the ages. One who kills. Again. And again. He's more of a …
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Why I wrote ‘The One That Got Away’
By Brigitte Knowles It was 2011, a good year. I made $235,000.00 in my business that year and was at the top of my game. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend in Delray Beach, Florida. My life was only about work and I did not realize that I was out of balance. I had not gone out to a club for years and at 55, I was not a frequent dater, celibate for 5 years. I was ripe for the picking. I did not know that there were Financial Predators in this world. I was targeted by an Italian man who professed true love and wanted to do real estate business with me. He asked for down payments to buy distressed housing in West Palm Beach. We visited several with two real estate agents, mine and his. …
Her sociopathic husband: lies, cheating, pornography, burglary, and one day, she fears, revenge
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gemma." I married my sociopath after a whirlwind long-distance relationship. He swept me off my feet, seemed to love everything I loved. He introduced me to his family, I found soon after he had been married three times before. He said he married his first wife because she was pregnant, his second to get her into the country (she was Columbian), and he married his third wife to give her a feeling of security. I later found out he had cheated on every one of them. He told me he loved me and had saved the best 'til last. Things were OK to begin with, then I started noticing his control. He would tell …