Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Gloria.” She's from Australia, and “pokies” are slot machine parlors. She would like some advice. I am a lady that had both hips replaced, my back fused in 2 places, and my neck also fused in 2 places. I met my love fraud when going through a court case, on my hip. My son has a mental illness. Met him at the pokies. I thought I met a wonderful man, he helped me out with my son, totally looked after me through a hip op. Told me he would look after me even if I was in a wheel chair, and even be my carer. I met his family and his parents, got engaged, was on cloud 9. If I won my court case we would get mar …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why we try to understand the psychopath
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Who is the fool? By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide A normal empathic individual will do their utmost to understand a psychopath, especially if they have no idea the person is a psychopath or has a personality disorder in the first place. Throughout the ages most people have had a fascination with evil, so when we suddenly find ourselves coming across someone who ticks all the boxes when it comes to …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why we try to understand the psychopathRead More
Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burn
Much of the United States erupted in outrage at the news that Casey Anthony was acquitted of murder. Bloggers and citizens asked: What was wrong with the jury? Couldn't these 12 people see through her lies? Even if they had been sequestered for the trial, the media had been reporting her loose relationship with truth for years. Read Casey Anthony's top 10 alleged lies on Investigation Discovery. Lies, however, do not prove that Anthony committed murder. Even Wendy Murphy, the feminist lawyer who vociferously supports battered mothers and abused children, predicted that Casey Anthony would walk. Why? The prosecution did not have proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she committed the …
Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burnRead More
Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist
A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It's an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com. Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason's ideas before—I don't agree with them. You can read it here: Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond …
When amoral characters just aren’t sociopaths
You can sit with a sociopath and know he's a sociopath, and sit with someone who perpetrates the behaviors of the sociopath, even as comfortably as the sociopath does, and yet know he's not a sociopath. How? How can you know? Is it something intuitive? I address this from a clinical perspective, not a personal or intimate one. But still, I find it somewhat interesting to feel, or recognize, this distinction, and maybe you'll find it more relevant than I imagine. Of course, the history says a lot. Whenever you are dealing with someone who is raising his kids with some real love, holding down a job, paying his bills, not abusing his spouse and maintaining a history (past and present) of …
Self-diagnosing sociopathy
A 24-year-old guy described himself in an Internet forum: He doesn't feel emotion, is an excellent liar, becomes bored quickly, and experiences an adrenalin rush when deceiving or angering someone else. He asks, is he a sociopath? I'd answer yes. The post is an interesting insight into how a disordered young man perceives himself and others. Read Self-diagnosing sociopathy on the Dr. Robert forum. …
Psycho Squirrel
As I was trying to come up with an idea for this week's blog post, my husband, Terry, made a suggestion: “Why don't you write about Psycho Squirrel?” Last fall, we started tossing peanuts in the shells to squirrels in our backyard. We were captivated by the show they put on as they acrobatically chased each other along the fence and through the tree branches. Plus, we liked being nice to our furry neighbors. Most of the squirrels picked up the peanuts and scurried away, burying them to eat in the winter. A couple of squirrels, however, were smart. They learned that humans meant food, and every time they saw us, bounded over to the ground below our back deck. They'd sit on their hind leg …
Book Review: Evil Genes
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Dr. Barbara Oakley is the author of Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend. Oakley's resume reads like something out of a spy novel: She worked as a translator on Russian fishing trawlers during the Cold War, went from a private to an officer in the military, met her husband while working as a radio operator at the South Pole, and is now a professor of bio-engineering. About this book, Gavin DeBecker writes, “Whatever you might believe about the role of genetics versus environment, Evil Genes will take you somewhere you haven't been. Barbara Oakley brilliantly reveals the falseness of one …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Everything about the sociopath invites us in
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Gary Cundiff is a marriage and family therapist based in San Diego, California Through deception and mirroring, the sociopath exerts control By Gary Cundiff, MFT Gary Cundiff profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Having fallen victim to the very thing I had dedicated my life to protecting others from is my reason for writing. To warn others and feasibly aid some. The inevitable harm from interacting with a sociopath is definitive. For some, years have been spent recovering. I am a mental health professional with years of …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Everything about the sociopath invites us inRead More
The Bachelorette and the sociopath
Last week, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader: Not sure if you ever pick up on things that go on in the television arena, but Hollywood hit a new low this week with the third installment of The Bachelorette. The producers are supposed to pick fabulous, eligible bachelors, not sociopaths who set out to do psychological harm. As soon as it became evident that Bentley was without a conscience, purposely setting out to hurt Ashley Hebert, lure her in with false words while telling the cameras (behind her back) that she was ugly, not his type, blah, blah, blah, the producers had an obligation to tell Ashley the truth. But they chose to let Bentley ambush her and break her …