In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed. After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He's a victim of what's called ”˜love fraud.'” I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud' has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn't get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.” Then, a few days ago, I receiv …
Psychopaths and outrageous lies
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Psychopaths sometimes don't know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea's soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids. Just what will Kim Jong-Il make of all this? North Korea say medicine using musk deer glands caused five players to fail drug tests The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medic …
What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopath
Editor's note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn't always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath. Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath. The New Living Bible translation: 12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He will not let me go
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Gloria.” She's from Australia, and “pokies” are slot machine parlors. She would like some advice. I am a lady that had both hips replaced, my back fused in 2 places, and my neck also fused in 2 places. I met my love fraud when going through a court case, on my hip. My son has a mental illness. Met him at the pokies. I thought I met a wonderful man, he helped me out with my son, totally looked after me through a hip op. Told me he would look after me even if I was in a wheel chair, and even be my carer. I met his family and his parents, got engaged, was on cloud 9. If I won my court case we would get mar …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why we try to understand the psychopath
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Who is the fool? By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide A normal empathic individual will do their utmost to understand a psychopath, especially if they have no idea the person is a psychopath or has a personality disorder in the first place. Throughout the ages most people have had a fascination with evil, so when we suddenly find ourselves coming across someone who ticks all the boxes when it comes to …
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Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burn
Much of the United States erupted in outrage at the news that Casey Anthony was acquitted of murder. Bloggers and citizens asked: What was wrong with the jury? Couldn't these 12 people see through her lies? Even if they had been sequestered for the trial, the media had been reporting her loose relationship with truth for years. Read Casey Anthony's top 10 alleged lies on Investigation Discovery. Lies, however, do not prove that Anthony committed murder. Even Wendy Murphy, the feminist lawyer who vociferously supports battered mothers and abused children, predicted that Casey Anthony would walk. Why? The prosecution did not have proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she committed the …
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Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist
A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It's an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com. Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason's ideas before—I don't agree with them. You can read it here: Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond …
When amoral characters just aren’t sociopaths
You can sit with a sociopath and know he's a sociopath, and sit with someone who perpetrates the behaviors of the sociopath, even as comfortably as the sociopath does, and yet know he's not a sociopath. How? How can you know? Is it something intuitive? I address this from a clinical perspective, not a personal or intimate one. But still, I find it somewhat interesting to feel, or recognize, this distinction, and maybe you'll find it more relevant than I imagine. Of course, the history says a lot. Whenever you are dealing with someone who is raising his kids with some real love, holding down a job, paying his bills, not abusing his spouse and maintaining a history (past and present) of …
Self-diagnosing sociopathy
A 24-year-old guy described himself in an Internet forum: He doesn't feel emotion, is an excellent liar, becomes bored quickly, and experiences an adrenalin rush when deceiving or angering someone else. He asks, is he a sociopath? I'd answer yes. The post is an interesting insight into how a disordered young man perceives himself and others. Read Self-diagnosing sociopathy on the Dr. Robert forum. …
Psycho Squirrel
As I was trying to come up with an idea for this week's blog post, my husband, Terry, made a suggestion: “Why don't you write about Psycho Squirrel?” Last fall, we started tossing peanuts in the shells to squirrels in our backyard. We were captivated by the show they put on as they acrobatically chased each other along the fence and through the tree branches. Plus, we liked being nice to our furry neighbors. Most of the squirrels picked up the peanuts and scurried away, burying them to eat in the winter. A couple of squirrels, however, were smart. They learned that humans meant food, and every time they saw us, bounded over to the ground below our back deck. They'd sit on their hind leg …