The connection between love and politics—that was the topic of commentary in yesterday's paper written by Gregory Rodriguez, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times. The article, Love and politics in a cynical age, got me thinking about the consistency of behavior. Rodriguez summarized how Americans have come to view the private lives and public lives of the people we elect to represent us. He wrote: The truth is that we don't generally associate politics or politicians with happy marriages and deep romance, let alone fidelity. The constant revelation of scandals and peccadilloes in the halls of power have trained us to expect the worst of those—particularly the men—we elect to shepherd and …
Genetic mutation plus alcohol leads to violence
A study of criminal offenders in Finland found a certain genetic mutation and alcohol consumption was associated with impulsive violence. Read Genetic mutation may lead to violent and reckless behavior on ABCNews.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Background checks for online daters
When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness. Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com. …
Looking For Rage In All The Wrong Places
When individuals are jealous-fueled, what is happening? One thing that's happening is that they are often looking for rage, looking to rage, in all the wrong places. So this is important to establish up-front: The jealous-laden individual is using his jealousy as a basis to unleash his stewing rage. He is using jealousy as a means to feel rage; to feel outrage; to feel, somehow, self-righteously betrayed; and finally, to justify (through his jealousy) his pursuit of these feelings. Thus, he is looking, contriving, convincing himself that the basis of his fury is legitimately, suspiciously, here”¦or there!!”¦or there!!”¦or here!!”¦or over there!! Regardless, he will find the basis for …
A guy who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer
Woman meets guy online. Woman decides guy is not for her. Guy doesn't want to hear it. Guy wants wants to meet her RIGHT NOW to hug her neck. Woman doesn't respond. Guy promises the greatest love ever. Woman tells guy to STOP. Guy ramps up the attention. Read the entire audacious interaction, complete with the guy saying it was all a joke, at womenexplode.com. …
Genetically prone to cheating
People who have a particular gene, scientists have found, are more likely to cheat on a romantic partner. Read The love-cheat gene: One in four born to be unfaithful, claim scientists on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Clinically Sitting With The Sociopath
It's disconcerting, no question about it, working with someone who's antisocial, with real sociopathic qualities (forgetting, again, for the moment, the hell of living with such an individual). Recently, I'm struck again, in my work with a client I'll call Howard, by the brew of certain qualities, certain attitudes, certain defenses that strike me as forming a rather sociopathic orientation. Howard is 19. He understands the suffering he's causing others in his life: he can “talk the talk,” meaning that he “gets it” on a cognitive level. He can say, for instance, quite accurately, what he's doing, why it's wrong, that it's wrong, even that he feels bad about it. How badly he really fe …
No more narcissists in the DSM 5
Earlier in the year, Lovefraud submitted a comment giving our views on the draft of the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, DSM 5. We commented on the proposed new term for antisocial personality disorder, "antisocial/psychopathic type," and the diagnostic criteria. One of the changes that the DSM 5 committee proposed was eliminating the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. According to an article in the New York Times, not everyone is happy about it. Read A fate that narcissists will hate: being ignored on NYTimes.com. …
Sociopaths target our dreams
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail. In it, I felt like I was reading a rerun of my experience. I was involved with one of those 1 to 4% sociopaths/scammers you've outlined in your website. I lost everything — Long story — you already know it — he was so charming — the love of my life — kind generous, giving, very sexy in and out of bed — Anyways, it's been just over 3 yrs (I was only with him 2 + yrs with a 3-month breakup period. Yep I took him back — Call me a LOSER now and hit the delete button — Wait, please don't.) and I'm living in a mobile home park. Not any of the three properties I had on a golf course. Sold two of them and the third is heading for foreclosure. …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: How sociopaths mess with your head
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. She has also created a wonderful animation that describes the antics of a sociopath, called Exposing the Mask of Insanity. View the animation here. Getting your head out of the washing machine By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I often receive emails from people asking me to talk about different subjects. One recent subject was the mind-bogglingly creative ways in which a sociopath will literally mess w …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: How sociopaths mess with your headRead More