How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Yes, women can have exploitative personality disorders and wreak havoc in the lives of partners, family, friends and even casual acquaintances. Here’s what you need to know.

Appalling, shocking, psychopathic behavior, and acting before you have evidence

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I've collected more than 10,000 Lovefraud cases, all of them atrocious tales of deceit and betrayal. Even so, the behavior of Loretta Burroughs, 63, of Mays Landing, New Jersey, was way over the top, heinous beyond belief. On August 3, 2007, Loretta stabbed her husband to death, dismembered his body, packed the remains into plastic totes and dragged them around from house to house, until they were discovered on May 17, 2013. She told her friends and family that Daniel Burroughs, 63 at the time, had left her for a younger woman. They had driven off in a yellow Hummer with Florida license plates. Last week, Loretta Burroughs was convicted of murder. I covered the trial for the Daily …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: She was deceiving both of us and living a double life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Roger." He says his girlfriend was seeing two men at once, deceiving both of them and living a double life.UPDATED FOR 2024: First off this is a man's story and I hope it will help other men who have had to deal with sociopathic women. No offense women but most stories here are written by women!So I met my X-fiancee about 3 years at a job function. She was beautiful, sweet, caring, attractive — just seemed like an extremely “genuine” person at the time. We would constantly email each other all day and the more we conversed, the more I was realizing how similar we both were in every way. We were both divorced, ha …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I want the woman back that I fell in love with, but I know it is impossible

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UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a man who posts as “Drained.'I guess I have been in a bit of a hole for a while now and have generally been going through a rough time, which in hindsight may have made me ripe for the picking by my sociopathic ex girlfriend.I had been unhappy in a previous long term relationship (prior to meeting my SP) for a considerable time, my ex partner is an amazing person, however we grew apart and were more suited as friends than lovers. I had been in this relationship for 12 years. My father passed away last year after losing his battle with cancer, which was incredibly hard to watch. I have been battling depression for some time a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Female sociopath shares her experience of growing up with one and using what she learned

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Editor's note: Lovefraud has been contacted by a 27-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and depression. Reading some of your questions about female sociopaths, this woman offered to share her experience so that you may gain insight and protect yourselves. She will not be posting comments.This woman says her mother is narcissistic and there is a history of psychopathy on her father's side, although she doesn't know her father's family because her parents divorced when she was young.Personally, I do feel sorry for this young woman—which would probably annoy her. The cards were stacked against her from the day she was born. She is in therapy and on m …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The dangers of friendship with a female predator

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as “Kerisee04.”How does a person know if they have engaged in a friendship with a female predator? So often it is the romantic relationships that are discussed, and usually about male sociopaths.First of all, it's important to note that if you are a male, to the female sociopath, you either a sexual target or a source of financial gain. In my experience with the female sociopath, in her mind, there is no man beyond her reach. She has sexual fantasies about all men she encounters and runs scenarios in her head to accomplish her goal. In my naive state of mind, I had no idea this particular female sociopath was after my h …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He was snatched from me, even though he wasn’t real

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who we'll call “Janine.” She fell in love with a man that she met online, but he wasn't real.It started back in Dec. 08, I was on an online dating site and came across a profile, his picture was nice, my type, dark hair, nice face, normal handsome looking. Brief description, saying his likes dislikes etc, so I messaged him.From there is went to msn chat and then we exchanged numbers, when he rang me he said sorry if you don't like my voice, I had an operation when I was younger and it has changed it. Didn't think anything of it.We clicked straight away, got on like a house on fire, had the same sense of humour and talked for …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Houseless, wifeless and kid-less

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received this letter from a man in Massachusetts, who ended up houseless, wifeless and kid-less. We'll call him Gary.I just turned 39 this July. I got married to a woman in 1995. We just got divorced in February of this year.While married to this woman, two beautiful children were born to us — or so I thought. The oldest just turned six in May. The youngest will turn three in August.One night in July of 2007, I came home to find my wife speaking with another man in my home late at night. Of course the reasons for him being there were all phony, as I later discovered. Anyway, uncomfortable with that situation, I decided to do some investigating. It turns out there w …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Female psychopath turned into a snarling, spitting monster

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, we'll call her Betty, sent her story. It's a tale of a run-in with a female psychopath who likes to destroy people for the fun of it. I got divorced and moved from Texas to California. I was 45 years old, and was hoping to transition from my career as an RN. I'd worked in the newborn nursery and the increasing numbers of drug dependent newborns were breaking my heart -- I was experiencing burnout. I tried physical rehabilitation for adults, but that too brought me in contact with awful suffering, and I didn't have enough to give my patients. I had a painful divorce and a painful career, and made the decision to pull myself together and start over. That's …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader about his ex-wife, a sociopath. I believe my soon to be ex-wife is a sociopath (Sp). I was the recent victim of an evil plot to move my family to Washington from Texas, but two and a half months before the big move, with my house sold, I caught her, the Sp, in Washington with another guy looking for property, through a series of intercepted emails. This was one of two trips the Sp had taken, lying about the trip, saying she was going on a job interview. After I confronted her about the infidelity, I filed for divorce and took it upon myself to avoid any further confrontation with the Sp. I vacated the house and set up a …

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Guidelines for dealing with female sociopaths

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Millions of sociopaths live among us, and a significant proportion of them are women. Unfortunately, many Lovefraud readers have learned about female sociopaths the hard way. Over the past few years, I’ve exchanged emails with a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Steve22.” Steve22 has been involved with a woman for about 20 years. Slowly, over the last 10 years, he figured out what was wrong with her: She has a serious personality disorder. She exploits and manipulates others — particularly him. Luckily, Steve22 never married the woman, and now he is planning his exit strategy. He will soon retire, and he’ll leave not only his job, but also the female sociopath. They do share a house, and sh …

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Lies and manipulation from a disordered wife and mother-in-law

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Jerome21 about his disordered wife and mother-in-law. Hello, I married a woman who has a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I moved her in and helped her get custody of her son back from a most likely personality disordered mother. Things were never great but I kept the faith that if I stayed loyal and helpful to my wife she’d eventually “see the light”. My mother in law was irate that the child she took from my wife was returned and she blamed me. After all I provided the home and the stability that made it possible. Almost immediately CPS were frequently at our home for false reports. We als …

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