It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …
Sociopaths engage in calculated seduction. Learn how they love bomb you until you feel addicted to the relationship and can’t leave.
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernice." Her new man assured her that he could never hurt her, but it was an empty assurance. I had been out of an 18-year marriage for a year when I met my lovefraud. My husband was a selfish man who enjoyed his pornography. At the beginning I tried to be the good wife, experience things with him. The pornography I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I explained to him that for me it was a major turn off, almost sickening some of it. All that accomplished was him watching alone. When the children came along we only grew further apart. Over the rest of the marriage he became more and more independent …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name "DamselflyNOTdistressed." She writes about her nervous breakdown that was her sanity speaking. OCTOBER 24, 2012 - That was the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the "nervous breakdown" that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful — it was my sanity speaking. It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an e …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speakingRead More
Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot them
UPDATED FOR 2025. Today, if you’re looking for romance, you aren’t limited to searching your local community. With online dating apps, texting and video calls like Facetime and Zoom, you can meet and stay in contact with potential partners in distant cities, states and countries. It may seem like you have worldwide romantic possibilities — but you also need to be on the lookout for sociopaths in long-distance relationships. Quite frankly, long-distance relationships are dangerous. Sociopaths can be difficult to recognize when you’re around them every day. If you only see them in real life intermittently — well, they can run their scams and manipulations almost indefinitely and you will nev …
Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot themRead More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." It's a thank you note to the sociopath who targeted her. You'll see why. To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them, I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away, respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopathRead More
Red Flags of Love Fraud #2: Sudden soul mates
When sociopaths target you for romantic exploitation, it seems that their favorite term of endearment is "soul mate." That’s why “Sudden soul mates” is the second warning sign in my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath. When they’ve set their eyes on you, sociopaths gush about finding the man or woman of their dreams, the person they've wanted all their lives. They liberally talk about destiny, how the relationship was meant to be. If you, the target, are religious, sociopaths smoothly proclaim that God has brought you together. My book is based upon the 1,352 responses that I received for my Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey. Asked to describe the so …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We met at church – I thought he was a decent man
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "Radar_On" sent the following letter about a man she met at church and married. She thought he was a decent man. How does one begin to tell the tale of the masquerade and the swath of destruction at the hands of liars, narcissists, sociopaths, and so on? The psychological, emotional, mental damage that has been inflicted upon us is too much for the "normal" person to comprehend. Unless someone has been through, and survived living through situations like this, average people just can't understand, or relate! I am a 52yr. old woman that has been through much in my life. This current situation is my 3rd. marriage. My first ex husband (my …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We met at church – I thought he was a decent manRead More
Red Flags of Love Fraud #1: Charisma and charm
Because the word "sociopath" is often used to describe criminals and murderers, you may expect these people to have angry, foul temperaments, and they often do. But that comes later, after they have their hooks in you. When you first meet them, many sociopaths have an attractive, appealing energy about them. They demonstrate their interest in you through lavish attention, flattery and kindness. That’s why the first Red Flag of Love Fraud is, “Charisma and charm.” My second book, Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, reveals the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. There’s a lot more understanding of a …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Layers of shame and guilt
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who is herself a mental health professional about the layers of shame and guilt that she feels. Names have been changed. The sociopath has an amazing ability to determine who can be manipulated or is vulnerable. When I separated from my sociopath, I had to recognize how I was conditioned as a child to be trusting and compliant. I was rewarded when I took care of others; my parents wanted a kind child. Their shaping was successful and I care very well for others. What I lacked was the ability to care for myself and to discern who deserved my care, who would return the love and respect that I gave. Lack …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Partners in an unhealthy dance
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a woman who posts as Willow888. She wrote about her unhealthy dance with a sociopath. I recently started to work through the awful morass of feelings that follow an interaction with a disordered person. These people are such deceptive and expert manipulators they can apparently draw in even the healthiest of partners, partly because their behavior is beyond normal imagining and experience. Just as we're taught to drive a car defensively, to suppose that every other driver is asleep at the wheel, we could still get taken unawares by a driver who aims at us head on, deliberately. That we wouldn't necessarily be …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call Hilary, who wrote about how much we want to believe the romantic story. Names are changed. The night before I met Nick, I had a vivid nightmare. I lost sight of a caring man in a chaotic crowd, a baby was murdered, and I was poisoned. I awoke and heard, "Wait for the right one. Don't try to save him. You'll ruin yourself and your future." The thought was so pervasive that, although I was perplexed, I wrote it down. The following afternoon, I met Nick (with whom I'd connected on a dating site) on his boat at the local marina, and an afternoon sail turned into an “accidental” dinner wit …