Reader’s Digest just published an article on spotting and escaping romance scams. Multiple experts contributed to the article — including me. The author sent me a list of questions; my answers are below. If you’re looking for love, I do recommend that you read the entire Reade’s Digest article — besides what I submitted, it includes many more helpful tips. How to spot romance scams: 7 telltale signs to watch out for What are romance scams? There are two basic types of romance scams. The first is the online swindle, in which perpetrators find someone online, seduce the target into falling in love with them, and then convince the target to send money. Often the perps and targets never meet …
What if you see some signs of a sociopath, but not all of them?
UPDATED FOR 2022. Editor's note: This is Part 1 of a two-part inquiry that Lovefraud recently received from a reader whom we'll call “Carlotta.” She asks important questions about the signs of a sociopath. I recently met and "dated" a man who turned out to be a sociopath. When I first met him I used your list of 10 signs of a sociopath to help me determine what I needed to do to protect myself if he should turn out to be a sociopath or worse. I wasn't too worried about him, because initially I noticed he had only 3 of the 10 traits. The notation with your list says if they have most or all of the traits they may be a sociopath. He turned out to be a sociopath so now I wonder if the spe …
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Why we comply with the sociopath’s demands when we know we shouldn’t
The cable TV network NewsNation recently interviewed me for a story about why some women help inmates bust out of jail. This is obviously wrong and illegal, but multiple people have done it (See Top 10 people who helped their lovers escape from prison.) Experts generally report that many prisoners are sociopaths—this is probably especially true of those who plot escapes. So the question is, why do people who know better comply with the sociopath's demands, including outrageous demands like escaping from prison? In the most recent jailbreak, Samuel Hartman, convicted of raping a nine-year-old child, escaped from an Arkansas prison work detail, allegedly with the help of his mother and wife. N …
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Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot them
Today, if you’re looking for romance, you aren’t limited to searching your local community. With online dating apps, texting and video calls like Facetime, Skype and Zoom, you can meet and stay in contact with potential partners in distant cities, states and countries. It may seem like you have worldwide romantic possibilities — but you also need to be on the lookout for sociopaths in long-distance relationships. Quite frankly, long-distance relationships are dangerous. Sociopaths can be difficult to recognize when you’re around them every day. If you only see them in real life intermittently — well, they can run their scams and manipulations almost indefinitely and you may never know it. H …
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Sociopaths say you’re crazy – and you believe them
UPDATED FOR 2022. The sociopath behaves badly: Lying and then lying to cover up the lies. Disappearing for days without explanation. Draining your finances. Cheating and you have proof! Yet the sociopaths says you're crazy! You are understandably upset. Justifiably angry. Yet when you confront the perpetrator, not only does the sociopath deny, deny, deny, he or she says it never happened, you imagined it all, and you're paranoid. In fact, you're losing your mind! You should be committed! You are so confused that you think the sociopath may be right. Are you losing your mind? How does this happen? How does the sociopath lie, manipulate and deceive, yet you feel like you're the one …
How to protect yourself from sociopaths in 3 easy steps
UPDATED FOR 2022. Yes, you can protect yourself from sociopaths. You can stop them from coming into your life and causing serious damage. I'm going to tell you how to do it in three easy steps: Step 1 — Know that sociopaths exist Millions of sociopaths live among us. I am not exaggerating that number. I use the word "sociopath" as an umbrella term for four serious personality disorders. They are: Antisocial personality disorder /psychopathy Narcissistic personality disorder Borderline personality disorder Histrionic personality disorder Although there are clinical differences among these disorders, there are many similarities. People who have these disorders are usually …
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Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategy
You’re chatting or texting with your new romantic partner. You make plans to get together, and suddenly he says his mom died and he has to break the plans. You react to the tragedy with shock and sympathy. Of course, you understand, and you’ll be there when he needs you. But what if it’s not true? What if when he says his mom died, he was lying? This happened to a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call Charlene22. Her story is below. Names are changed. Lovefraud reader's story I met Rick on Tinder in early January. We sent only a few messages back and forth before he asked for my snapchat so we could communicate there instead. We continued to talk every day for about a week, and had plan …
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4 reasons why psychopaths will never stop cheating
UPDATED FOR 2022. Psychopaths will never stop cheating. If you suspect that your partner is disordered, and you're experiencing any of the following, beware: Do you have absolute proof that your partner is cheating but he or she denies it? When you confront your partner about cheating, does he or she say it's your fault? Does your partner pick a fight with you, and use the fight as an excuse to storm out of the house and see someone else? If you answer yes to these questions, you may be involved with a psychopath — for more warning signs, get the exclusive Lovefraud checklist. If your partner checks a lot of the boxes on the checklist, know this: There's nothing you can do, or …
Why do psychopaths lie?
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/P_6vDLq64gE" title="How%20to%20spot%20a%20liar"] UPDATED FOR 2022: How to Spot a Liar that's the title of TED talk by Pamela Meyer, author of the book, Liespotting. A Lovefraud reader sent me a link to the video. It's a good starting point for a discussion of the question, why do psychopaths lie? How to Spot a Liar, on HuffingtonPost.com. In my opinion, the tips and techniques that she suggests in the video are helpful if you're dealing with normal people. I'm not sure how useful they are when you're dealing with psychopaths. Meyer does point out that people who think liars look away and don't make eye contact are mistaken. The research, Meyer …
To the psychopath, the relationship meant nothing
UPDATED FOR 2022. One of the hardest parts of ending a romantic involvement with a psychopath is accepting the fact that to the psychopath, the relationship meant nothing. In the beginning, when the psychopath pursued you, showered you with attention and affection, called and texted all day long — it was just seduction. When the psychopath proclaimed undying love, declared that you were the best thing to ever happen to him or her, pushed the relationship along while painting a glistening image of the future — it was all to hook you before you escaped. When the rough patches came and you were ready to walk away, and the psychopath pleaded, cajoled, promised to change or even thr …