How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Recovery from a sociopath

Please Forgive me for the topic! – Compassion for The Sociopath?

//  by //  148 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. How can this be?  Is it right, or possible to have compassion for a sociopath?  Why should I consider this topic after all the pain that the sociopath has caused me?  For some, the very idea may make you angry.  If so, my hope is that you read more”¦ In the beginning, I looked at my father as a spiritual vampire with no soul.  A person that lived off of others, consuming their money, emotions, kindness and love, then moving on to another.  In my dad's case, he even took their very lives.  He deserved to die, I thought.  I was OK with the idea of him being condemned …

Please Forgive me for the topic! – Compassion for The Sociopath?Read More

Seeing Things As We Are

//  by //  108 Comments

Last week found me involved in an unusually high number of conversations about sociopathy. By now I'm no stranger to explaining my own experiences to incredulous people and then patiently answering their questions and putting in to plain words the fact that no, a sociopath will not even begin to know the meaning of the word ”˜sorry' let alone feel it! “But surely Mel, I know if I'd done something even remotely as heartless as the person you've just described... well, I'd be eaten up with guilt! I couldn't sleep at night!” they exclaim, eyes wide open and hands held to their face. “Surely deep down they must know they've done wrong and feel ashamed?” Each time I hear that kind of respons …

Seeing Things As We AreRead More

New Beginnings

//  by //  7 Comments

Happy New Year everybody! I'd really love to reach out to everyone on this site to give you a huge hug for 2012 and say thank you for allowing me to be part of your community. Even though I can't physically do it in person right now, I hope you can feel it any way :-) Perhaps not surprisingly, I am choosing this week to talk about new starts, new beginnings and renewed hope. Over the holidays I came across a statement that resonated with me on numerous levels. “You can't reach out for the new until you let go of what is in your hand!” It's another of those simple yet deeply profound wisdoms that convey the truth in a way that can be instantly understood. I smiled when I first read it …

New BeginningsRead More

Unforgiven Fear Mongers – Who is hurting me now?

//  by //  97 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. If someone is continuously harming you, and refuses to stop, should they be forgiven?  This is a question that I hope you will try answer at the end of this post. My dad is a convicted serial killer.  He killed 4 people and told me about the crimes with great pride.  He used me, his favorite son, to help him destroy evidence when he felt that I might be a risk. He made me a part of this so that I would not go to police.  He abused my mom, and brothers and sisters. This is not the place to try to make one experience with a sociopath out to be any worse than anot …

Unforgiven Fear Mongers – Who is hurting me now?Read More

Mending boundary fences requires the right tools

//  by //  79 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I get most of my mail at a PO box and only a few things come to my rural mailbox, which sits on the road at the end of my driveway. A few days ago I checked the mailbox, and there were several Christmas cards ”¦ including one from an EX-friend. We had reconnected a few years ago. He was an old college chum, a guy that I had palled around with when I was in my first couple of years of nursing school. He is also a nurse, now retired. We had a lot of the same interests then and still do, so since he had recently moved to this area, we started going places together and just being pals again. This was really kind of fun to have a “running buddy” to go to auc …

Mending boundary fences requires the right toolsRead More

Suffering, Agony and The Pathway to Peace

//  by //  47 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. There are times when I feel completely lost in all this pain, with no way out.  It is as if I have been completely abandoned in a world full of hurt.  There seems to be no one, or no thing, that I can trust anymore.  All of the things that I used to enjoy only bring me temporary relief, at best.  My mind obsesses about what happened, what could have been, and what misery the future holds.  It feels as though my very life has been taken from me.  Hopelessness has become my home, and fear my constant companion. If you recognize this state of mind, “you are not alone” …

Suffering, Agony and The Pathway to PeaceRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What Ifs

//  by //  62 Comments

Editor's Note: This is another email from the Lovefraud reader whom we're calling “Adelle.” She previously contributed, Are you seeing someone else?  I finally left my SP and like the alka-seltzer commercial used to say, “Oh what a relief it is.” My decision to leave was made a long time ago. Today I thought to myself, “Why didn't I do this sooner?” I didn't do it sooner because of fear, of course. I had so many “What Ifs?” I never questioned whether it was in my best interest, I knew it was. The “What Ifs?” were in reference to him. What if he contacts my friends and tries to make me look bad? What if he does damage to my car so that I can't get around? What if he hacks my email and st …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What IfsRead More

Holidays after the sociopath

//  by //  140 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following email: It's almost a year since I last saw my x-sociopath as a boyfriend, the real last time was in May in a court and some after. It is hard this time of year with the Holidays around, and I have a lot of health issues and so not hearing his voice, or getting calls, has been hard—even though I know now he is liar. This time last year I did not know how much I had been scammed up til then. Still, with all the reading I have done, and all the thinking and grieving, I just can't understand how this person could have fooled me, or that he knew that he was doing so much wrong to me, while sometimes still saying I love you back to me after I said i …

Holidays after the sociopathRead More

Recognizing Hell, and Finding The Way Out

//  by //  12 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. This is the third in a series of postings on spiritual healing that will attempt to Make Sense of these encounters with sociopaths and present the process that literally turns these painful experiences into Miracles of Healing.  -Spiritual Truth- -There is absolutely nothing that ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being happy, joyous and free today.  If this is true”¦and it is”¦then, peace must be a choice.- One of the most challenging things that I have ever done is seeking to make sense out of my experience with my father.  It has also been the m …

Recognizing Hell, and Finding The Way OutRead More