Many of us have faced condemnation by strangers, friends and family members for having been romantically involved with someone who turned out to be a sociopath. It takes a very strong person not to allow this condemnation to turn to self-doubt; we may blame ourselves as much as others blame us. I have been lucky because the experience of getting to know other victims has taught me that many fine people have been conned. Furthermore, many of the conned tried to do their homework, they tried to protect themselves. Although highly intelligent, they were simply out maneuvered by an individual who was a professional con artist, a criminal who earns a living by preying on others. To all …
Rest In Peace Baby Boy – The Courts Failed Us
On October 21, 2012 at 8:38pm my baby boy was officially pronounced dead. I sit here typing and I am still in complete shock. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to write about, but tonight as I sit here I realize that baby boy needs me to tell his story — our story. It is a tragic story. It is a story about a guardian angel and his mama. It is a story about the day I lost my little angel, my soul, and my reason to keep living. 8:30am Friday October 19th: Baby boy had been running a fever and the night before his fever had spiked again causing another seizure. I called the ambulance, per usual, and again was told that baby boy was fine and that Febrile Seizure are benign and that I shoul …
What should she do about a violent stalker?
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader: Your website has been very enlightening. I was dating a psychopath for a few months. Luckily I escaped before too long. He fits the traits TO A TEE! Everything this man said was a lie. I could go on and on about the things that happened but I am typing on my smart phone and am just looking for your advice on one thing for now. One of the things I found out he was lying about was the fact that he went to prison for murder. He is on parole. After I left him (I am now 3000 miles away) he has been calling me sometimes 30 times a day. I had to call block and text block him. I am considering calling his probation officer to …
Society Blames the Victim Instead of the Psychopath – I’m Sick of It!
I am not sure why I am still shocked when people choose to blame the psychopath's victim. I have heard that this is normal from others who have suffered from an encounter with psychopath, but I still get a bit shocked each time it happens to me. From friends, to family, to the courts, to complete strangers — people seem to want to find something wrong with me to somehow better explain to themselves how I ended up being fooled by my psychopath ex. It has been happening so long that sometimes I find myself wondering there is something wrong with me that made me ignore the red flags and believe the completely fantastic story he was telling me. The Judgements: This week alone, I have exp …
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Managing the Chess Game of Court Ordered Visitation with a Psychopath
I have blogged previously about the nightmare of a court order supervised exchange professional. In the past two weeks, I have really started to wonder if I am dealing with two psychopaths instead of just one — my spath ex AND this court ordered supervisor. It has become abundantly clear that this woman chooses to meddle and fuel drama on some occasions and then on others she decides she wants to remain “neutral”. Today Luc (the spath ex and my sons unfortunately sperm donor) had another court ordered visitation. (Note: Luc hasn't had a seven hour visit for a month and the last time my son ended up in the hospital) The events that occurred at the drop off have me wondering about whether …
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My Psychopath Sperm Donor Used My Child to Trap Me- It Backfired!
I grew up believing that no matter what happened — a woman's role was to keep her Family together. I believed that having a mother AND a father in the home together was the best scenario no matter what. Clearly, this was before I met pure evil - my son's sperm donor “Luc”. While my family growing up was not perfect, the problems we suffered now seem as if they were “minor league” and life with Luc was like “major league” problems. While I was in it, however, I remember fighting like hell, turning the other cheek, and making excuses in an attempt to convince myself that it was still possible for me to keep this “family” together so that my son could have two parents. The handcuffs I cre …
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Rapist demands visitation rights
A 14-year-old girl was raped by a 20-year-old man. She became pregnant and kept the child. Now that he is ordered to pay child support, he is demanding visitation. Read Rapist wants visitation rights; teen mom fighting back on MyFoxBoston.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Defining My “Grey Rock” and Recognizing The Insignificance of The Psychopath Sperm Donor
I have heard a lot of people give advice about how the best way to get rid of a psychopath is to show him/her a “grey rock” of emotions. While I understand that this means that I cannot let the psychopath see any emotion beyond that of an emotionless grey rock, putting this theory into practice has proved to be one of the hardest things to do. I still believe I will have my moments, but it took an extreme situation for me to tap into what I needed to understand in order to achieve my own version of “grey rock”. The “Extreme Situation”: Baby boy had another rough 72 hours which landed him two more hospital visits. We started out in the hospital a few days ago after he spiked another f …
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The “Unsustainable Pseudo Co-Parenting” Phase of Custody with a Psychopath
In the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize that my Custody War with Luc (my sons sociopathic father) has entered a new phase - I'll call this phase the “unsustainable pseudo co-parenting” phase. The initial Custody Trial is over and our Family Law case has been closed. No matter how bad the judge, lawyers, and supervised exchange professional all want us to go away, none of these people are going to be able to cure Luc of his psychopathy so “going away” is not going to happen. In my post last week, I noted that my lawyer had suggested me and Luc get “Family Therapy” in order to learn how to communicate with each other. I have thought a lot about this suggestion, and its clear a …
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The Danger of a Psychopathic Parent in a Medical Crisis
This past weekend, I learned some terribly difficult lessons. I learned first hand how dangerous a Psychopathic parent can be during a medical emergency. I also learned another reason that “co-parenting” with a psychopath is not possible (because they have no intention to co-parent and have a reckless disregard for the law and, in turn, will disrespect Custody Orders). During my ex spath Luc's second unsupervised visitation with my baby boy, the supervisor for the exchanges called me about ten minutes before we were supposed to pick up baby boy from the visit and said, "Don't freak out, but I just received a call from the hospital telling me that Luc brought baby boy in after baby boy h …
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