Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader, whom we'll call Barb20, about the price of not listening to intuition. I was in a relationship with a sociopath for 10 years on and off. Two of those married to him. I am currently separated from him and living in another state. I originally met him online and we started dating. I remember the first few dates I had a little person inside telling me I was too good for him but quickly squashed that because it seemed so conceited. He came from a low income family, didn’t graduate high school and drove a truck for a living. I come from a middle class family, I’m a college graduate and had a good career. Knowing what I k …

Not listening to intuition costs her 10 yearsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about a vacation love that became a con from a reader whom we'll call Elsa20. Names are changed. I met Aslan when I was staying at a hotel in Istanbul. He worked at the front desk. We established a friendship. I left to travel around Turkey and came back to Istanbul and it was the beginning of a long distance relationship. He moved to another city in Turkey to work as a hotel manager. I visited him 3 times. He said he loved me; he wanted to marry me. On one of my visits he asked me for $5,000 to pay his military exemption. After back and forth I wired him the money using Western Union. He promised he would pay me back in May …

Her vacation love became a conRead More

Editor's note: Last week Lovefraud published an article written by a reader who posts as "Natalia20" called, "The sociopathic singer and his many women." Today, I'll address another of her questions, "Are there harmless sociopaths?" Of course, sociopaths usually have some agenda ... exploiting, want a control, etc. But are there people who have no empathy and conscience but live their lives “normally” without having any victims – just not having emotions? I give you an example: My friend Kat. She earns a lot of money but she is super stingy, and always a freeloader but I don´t think she would use someone in order to gain (but she doesn´t feel embarrassed about asking for guest lists and …

Question: Are there harmless sociopaths?Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about a sociopathic singer from the reader, "Natalia20." I went to a gig and he was the singer of the band. He was so handsome, sexy, it was very busy night but he noticed me in the crowd and tracked me through a mutual friend. I felt happy like a teenager - I never met a man with a bigger charm or charisma. Often I read that sociopaths have dead eyes but his eyes were the opposite! I never saw more VIVID eyes. They were sooo eager to live life fully, so excited and naughty, with lots of sparkles. He told me how he saw me from the stage and knew "there she is” ... We were dating nearly a year. He was always very spiritual, very c …

The sociopathic singer and his many womenRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Christie20. After dating a narcissist for 7 years, I remained single after we broke up for three years. I decided it was time for me to date again. A doctor in northern California found me on my Instagram account. I am the type of person that gets a generous amount of messages from men, however I usually won't respond. For some reason, I read and responded to this man. Something about him had me intrigued. We decided to meet when he came to Orange County for a medical conference. He immediately started love bombing me. He spoke about how he was the greatest, smartest doctor in the E.R. He would …

Signs of a sociopath: love bombing and refusing to payRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story of sociopathic betrayal from a reader who posts as "Mary2." I met him a year ago. He was charming, kind, and seemed so perfect. He told me he was separated and that his wife was living in another state. We did everything together. Then, one day, she returns. I asked why? He said to get more things. She was actually going back and forth between her mother’s residence and here. I continued to believe him. He met my girls, my mom, my sister, my co-workers. All thought he was wonderful. He told me his wife was crazy. When she kept returning he said she just had Dr appointments because she had cancer. I asked to see the separation p …

A story of classic sociopathic betrayal: ‘The most vile person I ever met’Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Carrie20. We met in high school, he was the cool new guy, the mysterious guy. We started hanging out, then we started sleeping together, I got pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion I didn't want to so we stopped talking. We were both seniors at this time so by the time I had our oldest we were already out of high school. Life went on, I and my daughter ended up moving 7 hours away, it was then he decided he wanted to be a family. I kept turning down his proposal for a few years until one day I thought, why not? We got married, had another daughter and moved back to our hometown. We took out a …

High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses herRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Cathy20. Names are changed. I was 28 years old and widowed from my husband of 10 years. I met a man from NY via POF. He was 38. He told me he had a place, car and construction business in NY. He told me he had been widowed on 9/11, also from his long term gf of 8 years Stephanie, never married and she had 2 children, girls who he helped raise. He showed me tattoo memorials of them — Stephanie, Rachel and Allison. I had 4 small children and little support system but just found out I was to receive life insurance and social security. For 3 months it was bliss, other than I noticed he drank all-out. He t …

Creepy vibe leads to discovery of ex-wives and criminal historyRead More

Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call, "Caroline20." I'm a 53-year old divorced woman diagnosed with complex PTSD as a result of four years of ongoing abuse by my ex-husband. I had known him for fifteen years and though he had some substance abuse problems, which resulted in our divorce in 2003, his abusive behavior did not truly come out until our reconciliation in 2011. When we got back together he had four years of sobriety and I was thrilled that we would have another chance to be together because I had never gotten over him. It turned into a four-year nightmare within less than a month. He choked me unconscious over a minor …

Kidnapped by sociopathic ex-husband; suffering complex PTSDRead More