[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKtYJyhTe40" title="How%20do%20I%20avoid%20dating%20a%20sociopath%20like%20my%20father?"] A young woman who posts on Lovefraud as "Butterfly" first contacted me in August. She had recognized that her boyfriend was disordered. She also realized that her father was disordered, which set her up to tolerate the lying, cheating boyfriend. We exchanged emails several times over the last few months. She asked excellent questions, and I made two "Letters to Lovefraud" videos to answer them, which are included in this post. With her permission, I've reproduced our email exchange. Her experience illustrates the confusing and painful experience of a …
I had $100,000 ready to be put into his hands
Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Genevieve." I connected with a boyfriend I was engaged to when I was 17. We knew each other since we were about 11. He called me after his 2nd marriage broke apart. I was married (and still am), and after getting reacquainted with him, fell back in love with him. I had no intentions of this happening, but he was filling a void. It was the honeymoon stage, the reminiscing from our teen years, and everything I thought we had in common. I always suspected he had another woman and confronted him at least 5 times ”¦ of which he denied. He was very jealous (always was), showed ownership of me, and told me he always loved me o …
Reconnecting with my teen love, I was hooked – until he walked out
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "JoLynn." I first dated my ex when I was 18. We split after 15 months but I was still in love with him many years later. After a 22-year marriage, I found myself divorced. After a couple of casual boyfriends, I contacted my ex by carrying out an Internet search. I was just short of my 50th birthday. He responded to my email and the relationship took off again, as if we had never been parted. We lived about 140 miles away from each other but he soon came to see me. I was so in love, we made plans and I was told that his alcoholic wife was in the advanced stages of illnesses and would soon die. The magic …
Reconnecting with my teen love, I was hooked – until he walked outRead More
My sociopathic ex-husband led my son into the lion’s den
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Eleanor." Names have been changed. The sociopath is my ex-husband. We were married for 10 years, two children, girl and boy. He changed THE DAY we were married. He has alcohol problem, cheated on me, lies. When I asked him to see marriage counselor, he told me to go by myself. I went for counseling by myself for approximately 4 months and was told, "I can either counsel you to live with him or counsel you to live without him." This is way before I figured out he is a sociopath, I decided this was not my idea of love. So I told ex that I was going for divorce. He was enraged. Would not give me money for …
My sociopathic ex-husband led my son into the lion’s denRead More
I had to wake up to reality – psychopaths are real
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Willa." My Mom and sister are mean and they don't feel guilt. They made the pain seem normal. I finally hit bottom and had to wake up to a reality I never dreamed was true, "psychopaths are real." I was in a relationship for 4 years of torture. I thought he was my dream man. I thought we where going to marry. When we met, he was 35 and lived with his mom and dad. They said he was a loving son, good boy never in trouble. I never saw him drink, drugs, smoke. He liked everything I liked. It was like my perfect twin soul mate. He did what I wanted to do. He went along with everything I wanted. Outwardly I …
He asked me for money – then another woman messaged me and said he was using her for money
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Agatha." I started to talk to a male friend I was connected to on Facebook after I had a tough break up. He said he reached out to me because he had just gone through similar and thought he could help. After a few weeks we started to flirt with each other. I did at first, then he went full blown. Within a week of this talk, he admitted he loved me. I did think it was soon but I felt the same. Then he said he wanted to marry me, possibly have a child, grow old together. Said we were life partners. I went to visit him and spent a three-day weekend with him, and he had his two young sons for the days of …
He asked me for money – then another woman messaged me and said he was using her for moneyRead More
The narcissists in my life – the screamer and the deceiver
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Hilda." I have had a narcissistic work experience, 20+ years ago, and am currently divorcing from a marriage/ relationship of 27+ years. My divorce, no surprise, has been 3 1/2 years running, and involves theft, fraud, forgery, abuse, cheating, etc. The screamer my female boss I worked for a woman 20 years ago who thought that smashing phones and computer screens, screaming and yelling, hanging up on people and bullying them were completely normal business practices. She was a buyer and sales people were at her mercy. It was crazy and intimidating but I did not have the full wrath until I needed her to …
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I almost left my husband for a narcissist
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Marguerite." Hi Donna. I have recently read your book Love Fraud and am now reading Red Flags of Love Fraud, both of which I found were excellent. I feel I am recovering from being in a relationship with a narcissist, although I feel blessed that things did not progress from the love bombing stage, which was exactly as you describe in your second book. Showering me with attention It was a very intense period of showering me with a huge amount of attention, adoration and admiration, and I now believe telling me the things I wanted to hear. I'm ashamed to say I was already married when I met him, and at …
Video: Basic rules for a custody battle with a sociopath
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/i-OqrsZ7o3U" title="Basic%20rules%20for%20a%20custody%20battle%20with%20a%20sociopath"] In this edition of "Letters to Lovefraud" videos, a reader is facing a custody battle with her son's father, who she believes is a sociopath. She asks, "What are my options? Can I mention him being a sociopath in court without looking crazy?" I explain the basic rules of a custody battle with a sociopath. I emphasize that this is not a court procedure with a reasonable person who wants what is best for the child. And I explain your most important tool for building your case. …
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Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 2)
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." Read Part 1. I met my partner's parents very early on in the relationship. I was equipped with some knowledge about Narcs due to one of my friends having a Narc ex-mother-in-law. My radar was up, but unfortunately I was looking closely at mother and father instead of him. I did not know about love bombing, so I had no clue he was even remotely like his parents. I knew she was bad news the day I met her. Father was the silent brooding intimating type. Throughout the relationship I was constantly standing my ground with boundaries that were continuously ignored or disrespected. As the mask of my …
Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 2)Read More