How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I discovered after 15 years of marriage, my husband was a con man

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “SanityOK.” He was the president of a youth football league and VP at a company that I discovered he had been stealing from for 30 years. His boss completely trusted him, as well as everyone that knew him or thought they did. My children, his step children, thought that he walked on water. He was subtly controlling in the beginning and played mind games. He would tell me things like, "we already talked about that." I couldn't remember if we did or didn't and began to question my sanity. I became severely depressed after six years and was hospitalized. I thought I should be happy, because everyone els …

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I am now the enemy, and I’ve never witnessed such coldness from the person I used to call my wife

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Editor's Note: This Spath tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Wiserfromit." I believe I was married to a sociopath for over ten years. She was an old date from high school and had recently run into my friend and gotten my email address. We started talking via email for a couple months (we lived about eight hour's  drive from each other). We agreed to meet near her and on our first meeting, she said I love you. I went along with it because it felt too good to be true. We went looking for rings soon after and got engaged about five months after our initial contact. I had proposed to her when she was visiting me in my town and the next day, she was on the phone …

I am now the enemy, and I’ve never witnessed such coldness from the person I used to call my wifeRead More

Blame the victim, again

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Editor's Note: This SPATH tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name “Sisyphus Unchained.” He was handsome; he was charming; he had an incredible zest for life.  But more importantly he was manipulative, deceitful and dangerous. In 2007 I met a man with whom I thought I shared interests: educational/community development projects in Southern Africa. He portrayed himself as the founder of a South African-based charitable project focused on the needs of orphaned/disadvantaged youths in the townships of Johannesburg (which much later, once I investigated further, all turned out to be non-existent). Over the course of the next four years he skillfully interspersed his r …

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The critical thinking skills and instincts he tried to erode ended up saving my life

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Editor's note: This story is from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Eve2014." I have what is known as Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, and have suffered from it since I was narcissistically abused* by my father, who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been diligently and continuously working on myself in therapy for many years, with a slew of diagnoses that are all incorrect. It is only because of my involvement with a psychoanalytic therapist who behaved like a sociopath,** that I have reached the depths of emotional devastation and worked like a demon to solve the mystery. I cannot say whether Dr. X is a sociopath, psychopath, or narcissist, as I am not …

The critical thinking skills and instincts he tried to erode ended up saving my lifeRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopathic wife determines what husband is ‘allowed’ to do

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 Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Friend's Keeper.” I am writing this about a friend who I am trying to help who is clearly involved with a sociopath. My friend is a male, married to a sociopathic woman. Her acts and behavior are really unbelievable unless you see for yourself. What he's ”˜allowed' She takes his entire paychecks (salary plus state pension totaling $14,000/mo), and puts him on a $100/mo allowance, which he gets only if he's good, while she takes the rest. She convinces him it's all for him. He's only allowed out of the house to go to work, and she times him on when he gets home. He's not allowed out on the even …

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He does not know how to tell the truth — he lies just to lie

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of "Lauren2014." I opened my home, soul and heart to someone who had a ”past.” He was able to pull at my heartstrings and tell me horrific stories of his childhood and terrible accounts of his upbringing so that I would feel sorry for him. I was willing to overlook his “past” and the bad decisions he made as an adult because I felt it was attributed to his childhood. (Most of which are lies.) I thought every word he told me was the truth. I would later find out he does not know how to tell the truth. He lies just to lie. There were so many red flags in the beginning and I still ignored them. …

He does not know how to tell the truth — he lies just to lieRead More

He has no remorse for the complete fraud he was to me and our children

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of  "Beverly2014." I have told this story so many times and feel like no matter how much I discuss it I could never tell it all because there are so many details and incidents that occurred that it would be exhausting and somewhat impossible. I met my Sociopath about two years after my divorce from my first marriage which was abusive in its own way. My Socio preyed on my vulnerability and used it against me. When we met online he was instantly every dream I had ever dreamed of -- the "perfect" man. Looking back on everything it is so frustrating the level of deceit and energy he put into fo …

He has no remorse for the complete fraud he was to me and our childrenRead More

I was bowled over; I really thought the guy was in love with me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Mary2014". I first met J when he came to fit a new door. I had recently moved house and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done. He was extremely polite and well mannered and appeared to be attentive to my specific needs. He visited regularly bringing catalogues to choose doors, glass, etc., and seemed very keen to make sure that I was happy with the work he did. Although I did feel quite vulnerable having a strange man in the house he soon managed to put me at ease to the extent where I gave him a key so he could come into the house to work when I wasn't there. I …

I was bowled over; I really thought the guy was in love with meRead More

My sociopathic boyfriend went from idealizing me to neglecting me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH TALE was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Kathleen Jones." I dated a sociopath for two years before I found out what he was. We met on an online dating site. He mirrored my shyness and interests. I was smitten with him right away. He was not pushy, but patient, and soon we were a couple. After three months of bliss, he would start arguments with me over nothing, but would manipulate me by crying and lying so that I always thought I was in the wrong. It was a long distance relationship, so we saw each other on the weekends. He went from idealizing me, to neglecting me. When I would bring up how I felt, he would say he felt pressured …

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My narcissistic father made it no secret that he preferred my siblings over me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Isis2014” My father displays behaviors that are consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. He was emotionally abusive and neglectful to my mother, my siblings and me. He and my mother were married for 28 years. Months before their 28th anniversary, my mother discovered that my father had a 25 year old daughter. She is three weeks younger than my parent's second child. He hid his daughter's existence for 25 years. No one knew about her, not even his own parents. My father exploits people, especially ones who are shy and quiet. He has exploited all of his children and continues to exploit my brother to this day …

My narcissistic father made it no secret that he preferred my siblings over meRead More