Recovery from a sociopath

Many years ago, I attended a workshop presented by Patricia Sun, a pioneer of the self-awareness movement. One of the things she talked about was shifting our views about making mistakes. We tend to fear making mistakes, and when we do make mistakes, we berate ourselves. But in reality, mistakes are a part of life. There are no instruction manuals for most of the choices we make. Life, therefore, is a series of decisions made mostly by trial and error. We never progress in a straight line towards out goals. We have false starts and detours, but with time and persistence, we get to where we want to go. Patricia Sun talked about viewing mistakes as opportunities to make course corrections. …

10 lessons from the mistakes we made with sociopathsRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/IIMesvnR6Xw"] Gone are the times when apples and blackberries were simply fruits and hard drive was a difficult journey. Times are changing friends…There is something about bananas though that has always caught my attention. They always seem to smile at me. Does this ever happen to you? If not, I will tell you a secret - every time you buy a banana or just before savouring one, pause for a moment and hold it sideways. Without any exaggeration, it flashes cartoon eyes, smiles wide and winks at you. If you want to check it for yourself, please try it out and share your comments here. Be positive! Do you know how far can you go simply by being positive? W …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 12: BPOSITIVERead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/O9o_065nFwY"] Friends when is the last time you felt gratitude for having two eyes to see and two ears to hear? I know there are so many things we don’t take a notice of, but think about people who dream to have what you have, dream to be where you are and dream to have food on their table and fresh running water every day. How grateful would they feel to be in your place? Think of people in the war zones watching their homes burn in flames, wishing for peace, shelter and company. How grateful would they be to be in your place? I know it is very challenging to feel grateful when you are traumatised, but think how it could help you on this self-love and r …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 11: BGRATEFULRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/1Rx9c_yzIqU"] How do you wake up when you feel traumatised? Your answer is likely to be one of these two - you either cannot fall asleep in the first place, still thinking what the hell happened, or you snooze and keep snoozing, because there doesn’t seem to be any compelling reason to wake up… Some people don’t sleep because of insomnia, some others can’t sleep because of an internet connection but you probably can’t wake up because you are addicted to escaping the reality. All those thoughts, feelings and emotions still keep boiling inside you for the person or people near and dear to your heart that you lost, the valuable connections that you have bu …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 10: WAKE UPRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/1CWpqSU3PRA"] If you are like me, you have probably figured out pretty quick that it hurts to let go, but at times it hurts even more to hold on. This practice is not really an understanding of holding on to people or things that matter for us, but rather an interpretation of holding on to the precious sparkling diamond inside us. Throughout this practice together we will find the charcoal that has been inhibiting deep inside us and polish it to make it a precious stone that will receive everyone’s admiration. Drawing parallels with the natural formation of the diamonds underneath the Earth’s surface and sufferings of the lovefraud readers, this pra …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 9: HOLD ONRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSbPofKBl3s&t=400s"] Do you accept that you have parents and siblings or do you mind? Well, we don’t seem to have any choice, do we? There are facts or situations in life that we have no choice, but accept. It is not possible for us to be here on this planet without having parents, even though we cannot predict where the Human Genome Project will take us in the near future…What would happen though if you were to claim you do not have parents, thinking you must be some sort of a transplant by some aliens or you came out from inside a cabbage let’s say?... Even if you were to engage in self-deceptive statements like this, the fact that som …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 8: ACCEPTRead More

By Eleanor Cowan January 1973 - Quebec At the college where I worked as a secretary, I smiled up at the chubby cherubs fixed along the ancient oak hallway, their alabaster gazes uplifted in hope. I knocked on the chaplain’s door. We’d arranged to meet during my lunch hour. Anxious to hear about the results of his appointment with my fiancé’s mother, I took the same wooden chair Edna sat in only hours before. That morning, my future mother-in-law begged Father Price, the priest booked to officiate our wedding, to dissuade me from marrying her son, Stan. Edna explained that while she liked me, I was emotionally unreliable. I’d been raped and molested. Sometimes I binge drank and my mot …

My husband’s entire family knew what he was, but nobody talked about itRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/MP1zE87zi48"] I promise to love and forgive, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… so the line goes. Was this a sickness many of us ask ourselves, sometimes with deep emotional wounds of guilt and shame, curious if we have broken those sacred marriage vows? Friends, if you are Innocent and I blame you for a crime that you have committed, you will take me to court and ask for Justice. If however, you are Guilty and I blame you for that crime, you will beg for Mercy. Innocent souls seek justice but those that are guilty ask for mercy. Is this however the case for those souls bestowed with anti-social personality disorders? Justice prevails f …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 7: FORGIVERead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/O3ZfeZSNLjw"] If there is one skill that all of us mastered since birth, it has to be Sales skills! Straight away we started screaming out loud and announcing to the world that we are Hungry. If you are like me, you probably didn’t give up screaming until you got served those magic liquid drops, and I personally had no intention of giving up on mother’s milk, until I found myself screaming the same scream at the ripe age of 2, but nobody seemed to hear. Eventually my vocal cords got exhausted and I was presented with some alternative nutrition that was supposed to be better for me, because I happened to be a big girl. When it came to toys though, par …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 6: REFLECTRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following email: I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead "normal" lives (whatever that means). I'm a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack of empathy (particularly …

How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?Read More