Recovery from a sociopath

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT After being in a relationship with a sociopath, clients are often conflicted by the idea of forgiveness as recommended by their faith system (I checked and all the world’s major religions admonish to forgive) as opposed to the perpetual anger they feel. As therapists, we never pressure someone who has been abused to forgive their perpetrator, because we don’t want to minimize the impact of that abuse. While someone is moving through the emotions of healing from abuse and trauma, they are going to experience quite a bit of anger, even rage, which can hang around for a long time. Is there such a thing as having too much anger? So when and how do we know how to get …

When am I going to stop being angry?Read More

A fresh pail of red barbecue sauce sat on the chef’s counter, ready to marinate overnight. The gluey liquid was lathered on dozens of orders of baby back ribs before they were grilled over flaming logs. I recall thinking, as I brushed on my rouge and applied creamy lipstick for the night shift, that the difference between the calves and myself was measurable. The instant the thought occurred, though, I dismissed it. I wondered at myself. Where did these bizarre thoughts come from? It was the day Stan told me he wanted to take a psychology course at the university. Here I was waitressing nights to keep us afloat and my husband wanted to take a pricey university psychology course about ‘s …

My sociopathic husband and mind control manipulationRead More

If you're like most people who read Lovefraud, you may know, or suspect, that the person who is creating havoc in your life is a sociopath. Whether the offending individual is a romantic partner, parent, another family member or a friend, he or she checks all, or most of, the boxes of the sociopath checklist. You know the individual is bad for your emotional and psychological health, your wallet, and perhaps your safety. Still, you may struggle to break free. Sometimes there are financial or legal issues that make it difficult to escape. But often the ties that bind are emotional. Emotional bonds can be extremely powerful. This is understandable, because sociopaths are skilled at …

7 steps to breaking emotional ties with a sociopathRead More

A reader posted the following comment on Lovefraud's Facebook page: "This website helps me too, but now, as I venture into the world of dating again, I find that my past is terrible hindrance. So difficult. Any advice gratefully received. Just want to be happy." Many times I've been asked, "After what your con artist ex-husband did to you, can you ever trust again?" Yes I can. I do. I am remarried, and I am happier now than I've ever been, in fact, I'm much happier than I ever was before the sociopath. So how do you climb out of the abyss of profound betrayal? How do you recover? How do you move forward, to the point where you can actually love again? Here are some lessons I've l …

3 Steps to begin dating again after the sociopathRead More

By Eleanor Cowan I was eleven years old.  “Do you know what you are? asked Mother, thrusting open my bedroom door to find me, as she knew she would, in a predictable spot reading a predictable book. “I’ll tell you who. You’re a big, fat, lazy nothing.” Waving her souvenir from Mexico, a horsewhip, she flicked my hair up at the back as I hit the stairs to begin new tasks. Even though I weighed less than a hundred pounds, even though my chores were done and I’d earned the right to read for awhile, I did not defend myself.  There was no talking back, no disrespect, no arguing. Only one rehearsed sentence was permitted. I said it: “Yes, mother? What can I do to help?” Standing up for myself would …

Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)Read More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 45D: Whack-A-Mole Returns The next morning, I wrote furiously in a journal that I had started to keep only recently at the recommendation of a friend. More pieces of the puzzle fell into place, my hand barely able to keep pace with my thoughts. What kind of person would manipulate his spouse as Paul had done over the past two years and probably even before that, perhaps even from t …

Understanding someone is a sociopath brings clarityRead More