Editors note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "arpinsandie" says that writing poetry helped her recover from an involvement with a sociopath. She shares some of what she wrote, in the hope that it will help others as well. Poem for the Heart Emotion Conscience Less Do you know what hate is No Do you know what it is to be hated No Do you know where hate fits No Where warm humans love Hate is in you Where softness and kindness live You cultivate destruction Why do people cry They are hurt broken bt you Your charm superficial Boredom reigns where love should be A wonderful man to all outside see The real you ? - Only I see Cos you cant You don't hurt Cos you cant You don't love Cos you …
After a year of No Contact, she saw the sociopath and felt – nothing
A year ago, Lovefraud posted an email exchange that I had with a reader, whom we called "Alana." Alana dated a man who at first love bombed her, was obsessed with her and then turned ugly. She tried to leave him many times, and he threatened to kill himself. She finally managed to break it off. Then six months later, he sent her an email from a new email address, begging for her to return. Alana wrote back out of guilt and shame and then felt sick about it. She asked for reassurance that No Contact was the right approach. Read the story here: After 6 months of No Contact, the sociopath wants to begin again I just heard from Alana again. Here's her latest email: It has been a …
After a year of No Contact, she saw the sociopath and felt – nothingRead More
Two teleseminars: ‘Rollercoaster Relationship Recovery’ and ‘Dating After a Difficult Relationship’
By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW Toxic relationships cause damage to partners' self-esteem and self-confidence, to partners' connections with their support systems, and to their confidence in their own judgment and the goodness of other people. As a coach and therapist specializing in supporting partners and exes of psychopaths, narcissists, and people with Borderline Personality Disorder, I have come to believe that a valuable healing resource for survivors comes in the form of sympathetic connections with others sometimes as one-on-one therapeutic relationships, sometimes as communities of people who have had similar experiences, and sometimes as new relationships with supportive partners. These …
March 30: Free online introduction to Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine
Recently I received an email about a free online program being presented by Donna Eden, the pioneer of energy medicine, on Wednesday, March 30, 2016. Energy medicine is a combination of Eastern healing disciplines and Western science. The basic premise is that life energy flows through our bodies called qi in Chinese medicine and prana in Sanskrit. All illness reflects a block or disturbance in the life force. Opening the block and restoring the proper energy flow can lead to healing. Simple daily practices can keep your life force flowing the way it should, to build your vitality and prevent illness. Although it is not well known in our society, energy medicine is one of five alternative …
March 30: Free online introduction to Donna Eden’s Energy MedicineRead More
How do you explain why you stayed with a sociopath?
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Seekeroflight." How do you explain why you stayed To someone who saw how badly she treated you How exhausted you were Stressed How do you admit that you saw the monster early on And yet you stayed Because the monster was willing to lie To save face To threaten, intimidate How do you explain that you chose to stay With a monster who shouted, as she kicked your friend out, Shouted to the cops and half the neighborhood That he was a "faggot and has AIDS" He doesn't...but it doesn't matter You aren't that kind of person How do you admit that you stayed With a monster who said At the dining room table That she had …
How do you explain why you stayed with a sociopath?Read More
My Ex is a Psychopath
H.G. Beverly will be back next Friday to continue posting the rest of her book, My Ex is a Psychopath. She took a short break from posting to tend to family matters, but you can look for her next post on Friday, March 11, 2016. Many thanks! …
Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some Thoughts
Many people describe a long-term relationship with a sociopath as “soul-destroying?” Mine was. But, why? How does this happen. I'm still searching for all the answers, but here are some thoughts. Insidious Erosion Perhaps some, but not all, of the answer is erosion. Increasingly, he doesn't come home for dinner; she's chronically late for commitments with you; he flirts with other women in front of you, then denies it, attributing your concern to your insecurity; instead of engaging you over brunch, she's constantly checking her phone. Sometimes, she just ignores you. He contemptuously rolls his eyes as you voice your opinion, but denies it. He says he wants to take you to dinner and wants yo …
Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some ThoughtsRead More
Please keep Lovefraud co-founder in your thoughts and prayers
I've written quite a few times about the wonderful relationship that I have with my husband, Terry Kelly. Yes, there is love after a sociopath. Terry is my business partner in Lovefraud. He funded building the website and the printing of my books. When business decisions about Lovefraud need to be made, he's my consultant. He even handles shipping when we receive book orders. I'm writing this as I sit in the ICU waiting room of our local hospital. Terry suffered a heart attack on Tuesday. It's been a long week. This came totally out of the blue. Terry does not have any of the typical risk factors of heart disease. No family history. No smoking. He's not overweight, he eats well, he …
Please keep Lovefraud co-founder in your thoughts and prayersRead More
Been to counseling because of abuse? Fill out the Therapy Satisfaction Survey – closing soon!
If you sought professional counseling because of an involvement with someone who may be disordered, Lovefraud wants to know about your experience. Working with Dr. Liane Leedom and the University of Bridgeport, we are gathering data for scientific research about the therapeutic experience of those who sought therapy in the context of an abusive relationship. The survey is completely anonymous no personal information is collected at all. What did you experience? Did the therapist understand what you were talking about? Did he or she help you realize what you were dealing with? Or was the counselor completely clueless about personality disorders? Did the person make you feel worse instead of …
Living in Secret with the Sociopath
Are Things Really What We Think They Are? Things aren't always what they seem, that's for sure. And sometimes things aren't always what they seem when they are right in your face. People can't really be persuaded, even if something is right in their face. For whatever their reasons are, people have to come to their own conclusions about things. And most of the time it's difficult for family and friends to watch someone they love continue in a path that is harmful to them. Living In Secret Those of us who fall into the victim category, well, we live in secret. We live in secret about what is really going on for a lot of reasons. We are in denial of our own circumstances even though we know …