I'm finally beginning to properly ”˜get' the age-old adage that life is a journey not a destination. Let me assure you, my particular journey continues to be filled with the most bizarre ups and downs, and I'm coming to realize that truth really is stranger than fiction — well, in my case at least. Many peculiar happenings and coincidences have been going on over the past few weeks, most of which I am not currently at liberty to share. When the time is right I will put pen to paper, but until then I've decided to fulfill my urge to write by focusing on my own personal experiences around the subject of love after the sociopath. Being Human As you'll know if you read my last post, I am …
Announcing the e-book version of “Love Fraud”
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Two years ago, I published my first book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I am very excited to announce that Love Fraud is now available in all e-book formats. Whether you read on an Amazon Kindle or an iPhone, Love Fraud is now formatted for your device. With free e-reader software, you can also download the book and read it on your computer. The e-book version is only US$9.99. And of course, there's no shipping cost, making the book much more accessible to our international readers. I've also edited the book to make it about 20 …
The “Unsustainable Pseudo Co-Parenting” Phase of Custody with a Psychopath
In the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize that my Custody War with Luc (my sons sociopathic father) has entered a new phase - I'll call this phase the “unsustainable pseudo co-parenting” phase. The initial Custody Trial is over and our Family Law case has been closed. No matter how bad the judge, lawyers, and supervised exchange professional all want us to go away, none of these people are going to be able to cure Luc of his psychopathy so “going away” is not going to happen. In my post last week, I noted that my lawyer had suggested me and Luc get “Family Therapy” in order to learn how to communicate with each other. I have thought a lot about this suggestion, and its clear a …
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Approaching someone who has been burned by a sociopath
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Andrew." I recently met a lady out of the blue after I had sat at home alone for 2 years. She is the victim of a sociopath—reads & posts on the Lovefraud site trying to heal. She says she can't tell me all the damage done & I don't need to know—it's her business unless she feels she needs to share. She had cabin fever—had to get out for a night—hence our meeting. Well I had basically given up on finding someone until I met her. We instantly clicked. It was so good for 3 weeks—making plans of fun things to do. I thought it would help her heal—to go have fun again. I think she started liking me too much i …
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Poetry–during and after the sociopath
Editor's note: The following poems were sent to Lovefraud by the reader who goes by "Gia Rad." She describes herself as a "recovering people-pleaser, ex-victim, natural health practitioner, mother and survivor." Positive ”¦ by Gia Rad Today, I feel positive. Positive that a new era is emerging And I've left behind for good the hell I once lived with you. Positive that not every day and night is a nightmare in disguise. Today, I choose to smile at the rainbow And stand defiantly in the pouring rain As I'm positive, for the first time in ”¦ forever That I've survived what many don't, and will even blossom with time. Positive that I've learned to avoid your type And keep myself a …
After the sociopath, another sociopath
Several Lovefraud readers have written to me recently—annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives. The readers asked: What is going on? Why can't they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet? The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation. Millions of sociopaths These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we're living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into them. Experts est …
PTSD and eating disorders
People who have been exposed to uncontrollable, traumatic events may try to control their environments by controlling what they eat. Read: Links between PTSD, eating disorders become stronger, require RNs to focus on assessment, on Nurse.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Finding meaning in life from tragedy
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning came to mind today. Dr. Frankl wrote his book after spending time in a Nazi concentration camp during WWII. He lost his wife, his family and most of his friends. His book was not just another list of the atrocities done by the Nazis, but a look at the emotional toll taken by the hopeless situations in the camps and how different people responded differently. I learned a lot from this book, and I highly recommend it for those who have suffered “hopeless” situations. "We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when fac …
Gain disguised as loss; healing after the storm
Few, if any, walk away from their experiences with psychopaths completely unscathed. They may leave us bankrupt, homeless, or destitute. They may feign victimization, as they continue to wage their assaults, further insulting what we actually endured at their hands. Their thirst for destruction may be almost insatiable when it comes to us. Those are just the tangible losses. Let us give equal time to the emotional confusion and trauma. Many of us suffer from PTSD, depression, or serious physical medical concerns, as a result. Living through experiences with psychopaths, or those with such features, is an incredible feat. While we tend to focus on the negative consequences, we shou …
Sometimes, harassment by the sociopath just isn’t important
By Olga Rodriguez Every time I post on LF; I predictably get a text from the sociopath saying something negative; sure enough after the last posting (Now I can honestly say to a victim, 'I understand how you feel') I got one. I recall having a conversation with the sociopath back when we were still together. I was expressing my love of writing. I said I'd love to write a book sometime. His response was, “Me too.” I asked why and he said, “Just so I can say I wrote a book.” Bragging rights, I guess! I asked, “Would you care if it sold or not? “ He said, “No!” I explained that my reward would be having someone, even if it was just one person, say, “That book changed my life.” Or I'd like …
Sometimes, harassment by the sociopath just isn’t importantRead More