How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Help me understand: questions and observations in the aftermath

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This past year, I began speaking publicly on domestic violence and psychopathy.  As many of you know, I feel that I have a bit of a responsibility to educate others on the matter.  As a result, from time to time, people contact me or put their friends in touch with me if they suspect I can somehow help them make sense of their experiences.  Some are in the beginning phases of understanding abusive personalities and/or psychopathy, while others have no idea what has rocked their worlds. Last week, someone who was struggling to find answers asked me a series of questions.  Not only were they excellent, but they were ones that we have all probably asked. "How did such an intelligent, str …

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The Psychopath’s Enablers

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Psychopaths do a great deal of damage to their victims. The fact that there are people who are aware of what they are doing and choose to “look the other way” or to “sit on the fence and do nothing” enables the psychopaths to continue to abuse their victims. If the bystanders would stand up and assist the victims, even acknowledge that they are being victimized, the psychopaths might not be quite so successful. One of the most famous of these enablers who chose to look the other way was a man named Pontius Pilate, the Roman prefect in Jerusalem in AD 33. When Jesus was brought before him by the Jewish leaders, Pilate stated that he found “no fault” in J …

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Defining My “Grey Rock” and Recognizing The Insignificance of The Psychopath Sperm Donor

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I have heard a lot of people give advice about how the best way to get rid of a psychopath is to show him/her a “grey rock” of emotions.  While I understand that this means that I cannot let the psychopath see any emotion beyond that of an emotionless grey rock, putting this theory into practice has proved to be one of the hardest things to do.  I still believe I will have my moments, but it took an extreme situation for me to tap into what I needed to understand in order to achieve my own version of “grey rock”. The “Extreme Situation”: Baby boy had another rough 72 hours which landed him two more hospital visits.  We started out in the hospital a few days ago after he spiked another f …

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Love After The Sociopath

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I'm finally beginning to properly ”˜get' the age-old adage that life is a journey not a destination. Let me assure you, my particular journey continues to be filled with the most bizarre ups and downs, and I'm coming to realize that truth really is stranger than fiction — well, in my case at least. Many peculiar happenings and coincidences have been going on over the past few weeks, most of which I am not currently at liberty to share. When the time is right I will put pen to paper, but until then I've decided to fulfill my urge to write by focusing on my own personal experiences around the subject of love after the sociopath. Being Human As you'll know if you read my last post, I am …

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Announcing the e-book version of “Love Fraud”

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Two years ago, I published my first book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I am very excited to announce that Love Fraud is now available in all e-book formats. Whether you read on an Amazon Kindle or an iPhone, Love Fraud is now formatted for your device. With free e-reader software, you can also download the book and read it on your computer. The e-book version is only US$9.99. And of course, there's no shipping cost, making the book much more accessible to our international readers. I've also edited the book to make it about 20 …

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The “Unsustainable Pseudo Co-Parenting” Phase of Custody with a Psychopath

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In the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize that my Custody War with Luc (my sons sociopathic father) has entered a new phase - I'll call this phase the “unsustainable pseudo co-parenting” phase.  The initial Custody Trial is over and our Family Law case has been closed.  No matter how bad the judge, lawyers, and supervised exchange professional all want us to go away, none of these people are going to be able to cure Luc of his psychopathy so “going away” is not going to happen. In my post last week, I noted that my lawyer had suggested me and Luc get “Family Therapy” in order to learn how to communicate with each other.  I have thought a lot about this suggestion, and its clear a …

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Approaching someone who has been burned by a sociopath

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Andrew." I recently met a lady out of the blue after I had sat at home alone for 2 years. She is the victim of a sociopath—reads & posts on the Lovefraud site trying to heal. She says she can't tell me all the damage done & I don't need to know—it's her business unless she feels she needs to share. She had cabin fever—had to get out for a night—hence our meeting. Well I had basically given up on finding someone until I met her. We instantly clicked. It was so good for 3 weeks—making plans of fun things to do. I thought it would help her heal—to go have fun again. I think she started liking me too much i …

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Poetry–during and after the sociopath

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Editor's note: The following poems were sent to Lovefraud by the reader who goes by "Gia Rad." She describes herself as a "recovering people-pleaser, ex-victim, natural health practitioner, mother and survivor." Positive ”¦ by Gia Rad Today, I feel positive. Positive that a new era is emerging And I've left behind for good the hell I once lived with you. Positive that not every day and night is a nightmare in disguise. Today, I choose to smile at the rainbow And stand defiantly in the pouring rain As I'm positive, for the first time in ”¦ forever That I've survived what many don't, and will even blossom with time. Positive that I've learned to avoid your type And keep myself a …

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After the sociopath, another sociopath

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Several Lovefraud readers have written to me recently—annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives. The readers asked: What is going on? Why can't they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet? The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation. Millions of sociopaths These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we're living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into them. Experts est …

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