How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Recovery from a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Recovering from the Internet predator

//  by //  4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received the following update from a reader who we called “Greta.” Hi Donna: I previously emailed you my story and you posted it on June 23, 2011 under Letters to Lovefraud: Hooked by an Internet predator. This is an update to my story. As I wrote to you last, according to his previous girlfriend in Italy that keeps in touch with me, my ex, the predator, had persuaded a church in Florida to buy him a bus ticket to New York City. The homeless shelter in New York City assisted him through Immigration to get a ticket back to Holland. After the FBI, CIA, and Interpol completed their investigations, Immigration issued him an airline ticket back to Ams …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Recovering from the Internet predatorRead More

To The Sociopath – A Message Of Defiance

//  by //  66 Comments

There are so many inspiring posts and true stories that are shared here on this forum, and I thought I'd like to share with you an open message that I sent to my ex when I discovered he had been reading my blog. For me, it was another of those defining moments. I had a choice, you see. My habitual response would have been to shut down, keep quiet and stop sharing my journey with the world. The knowledge that he once again had access to my inner thoughts instantly brought back the familiar feelings of fear and uncertainty — together with the still haunting shame that I'd fallen so heavily for his poisonous charms. The fact that, despite my love, he had systematically stripped me of everything …

To The Sociopath – A Message Of DefianceRead More

When our strengths become our downfall

//  by //  167 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I've been reading some interesting books lately by some very interesting researchers in the field of psychology—Dr. Barbara Oakley dealing with the themes of altruism, Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen on empathy, and others who are trying to discover what makes people altruistic and how empathy (or lack of it) affects how we behave toward our fellow men. I've come to some interesting conclusions concerning my own part in my abuse by multiple people who were/are high in psychopathic traits, and very low in empathy, compassion and altruistic behavior. I have wondered about my own ability to repeatedly “explain away” the abusive behavior that I experienced from family m …

When our strengths become our downfallRead More

Breaking The Silence

//  by //  129 Comments

I am loving the honesty, support and wisdom shared by members of this community - and I feel deeply honoured to be here. Lovefraud is such a safe place, such a help to all of us whose lives have been touched by a sociopath. And your comments have inspired me to write about something I call the ”˜code of silence' this week. Something that, in my experience, exists among so many of us who have experienced abuse. Let's make no bones about it - escaping from a controlling or abusive relationship is difficult enough. Accepting the truth that you've been treated so badly is even harder. But having to explain what happened to other people is excruciatingly humiliating. Particularly when they wi …

Breaking The SilenceRead More

Inactivity to calm the suffering

//  by //  311 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Shocknawe As a fellow victim of a spath, I've been both heartened and heartbroken by the stories told on Lovefraud. Also, like many of us here, I have a natural inclination to feel for others and to do what I can to support and assist in whatever way I can to help ease others' difficulties that's a key reason we were targeted in the first place, isn't it? My experience has caused me to try to understand the nature of suffering and what can be done about it. So if the members will indulge me, I'd like to share some thoughts that have come to me as I continue to …

Inactivity to calm the sufferingRead More

It’s Not About The Sociopath – It Never Has Been

//  by //  287 Comments

Thank you. My last post seems to have stirred up some strong emotions. Then again I guess that's my responsibility as a writer — to reach people and get the feelings going. Movement, after all, is surely the only way we can go forward? At the same time, my intent is to stir positive responses, so I decided that this week it would be a good idea to share a bit about the methods I've been using to help with my own healing. I recognise that for some the following article may be a bit tricky to digest - which is why I thought long and hard before deciding to post. I remember when I first discovered that everything I had believed in was just a lie, I was far too raw to ever have been able to c …

It’s Not About The Sociopath – It Never Has BeenRead More

Dealing with illness and chronic pain through nutrition and environmental changes

//  by //  93 Comments

Editor's note: Diane Dawber is a founder of the Health Pursuits Reading Group. A Lovefraud reader suggested the following contribution on alternative health strategies. Please remember that Lovefraud is not a medical resource, and if you are suffering from symptoms like those discussed below you should consult a doctor. Adrenals and PTSD By Diane Dawber In 1996, a small group of mostly professionals, felled too early by chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia (FM), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS), asthma, arthritis, etc., started studying together to see what they could do for themselves since the medical system did not have much to offer. With …

Dealing with illness and chronic pain through nutrition and environmental changesRead More

“So You’re Telling Me That My Husband Is A Sociopath?” The Night I Made A Deal With Dr Hannibal Lecter

//  by //  290 Comments

So, what happens when you suddenly discover that the person who has been sharing your life is actually a stranger? Worse than that, they turn out to be a person who has deliberately deceived and manipulated you with surgeon-like precision. Wrapping you in a web of deceit — delivered so skillfully and carefully that you've welcomed the silken threads as they tighten around you. Freely allowing yourself to be wrapped in the cocoon being made by your soul mate. It's only once you have morphed in to an emotional mush of confusion and fear that you realize you are trapped. And by then, of course, it's too late — and your mate is off to the next willing victim. I know, of course, that so many of …

“So You’re Telling Me That My Husband Is A Sociopath?” The Night I Made A Deal With Dr Hannibal LecterRead More

“I won’t let you fall” Five Words And The Hand Of Friendship

//  by //  83 Comments

First of all I would like to say a big hello to all of you here on Lovefraud. This site has been a huge help to me over the past two years. The two years since I discovered that my marriage to a man I had freely referred to as my soul mate had in actual fact been a decade of manipulation and deception at the hands of a man I now believe to be a sociopath. Reading experiences and stories from other people here on this site, I came to recognize that my situation was far from unique. I was both appalled and also relieved to find that I was not alone. That there are thousands of people (mainly women, like me) who have been duped and betrayed in the cruelest of ways. I have been working on …

“I won’t let you fall” Five Words And The Hand Of FriendshipRead More

What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopath

//  by //  152 Comments

Editor's note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn't always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath. Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath. The New Living Bible translation: 12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They …

What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopathRead More