Recovery from a sociopath

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, the turn of the year, the winter solstice and all the holidays of the “dark” time of the year are celebrations of the miracle of renewal. The harvest and colorful leaf fall of autumn is over, and the seasons are turning again to the beginning of the annual cycle of life. Our gifts, all our gatherings, the lights and candles are all expressions of joy in our shared warmth, and our faith and hope in our survival through the cold months to the blooming of spring again. This morning, reading in bed (Richard Powers' Prisoners Dilemma), I found this line: "Inside each of us is a script of the greater epic writ little, an atlas of politics so abundant it threats to fil …

After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 15 – Comfort and JoyRead More

It's the holiday season, and many of us are running around doing last minute shopping, trying to find gifts for everyone on our list—and possibly, with this economy, on a limited budget. But what are we planning to give the most important person on our list? That is, what are we planning to give to ourselves? This year, some of us have been forced to face the fact that the person to whom we dedicated our time, energy, love and money was a sociopath, thoroughly prepared to take everything he or she could from us. Some of us discovered this a year or two ago, and are still processing the awful truth. When we become entangled with a sociopath, it shakes the foundation upon which we built our …

Give yourself the gift of trusting yourselfRead More

Every other week I participate in a 'one word' blog carnival. This week's word was 'grief'. Grief. A tiny word. Five letters. 'i' before 'e'. A story of precedence. What comes before grief? Love. Friendship. Familiarity. Hope. A belief in tomorrow. A belief in another day. A better day. A different time. A time for endless hello's to fill our day with promise. A time to love. And then death sweeps in and robs us of that time. That moment. Those endless hellos punctuated by good-byes that do not mean, never more, but rather, until later, until we meet again, until the next time. In death's embrace we fall and grieve for the one who was lost, for what was lost, for time lost and …

After the sociopath is gone: From grief to falling in love.Read More

There was a time when all I felt grateful for was the absence of his voice, for just an hour or two from the phone. There was a time when what I was most grateful for was knowing he was somewhere else, somewhere where I wasn't. There was a time when I was grateful not to think of him, for just a moment, or an hour, maybe even, if I was really strong, for half a day. There was a time. And now, the times have changed. The times have shifted, the sands have fallen differently, ever changing, in the hour glass of the passing of the time when he was all I thought of, all I saw, all I believed I would ever live with in my life. The times they have changed. Today I gave a presentation to a …

After the sociopath is gone: Your best life yet!Read More

By Ox Drover I'm sure we have all heard the old saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” This “old saying” is true, though I think it is made up to inspire some guilt in us for complaining about the small things we lack and make us aware that we are fortunate to have the many blessings that we do have, which many others are not fortunate enough to have. Another one I remember is, “Eat your vegetables; there are children starving in China.” I always wondered why I couldn't just send the hated vegetables there instead of eating them. It would solve two problems: I wouldn't have to eat them, and the kids in China would be grateful for them. My son D has turne …

Thanksgiving–count your blessingsRead More