When I finally realized that the person who promised to love me forever, James Montgomery, was a lying, manipulative cheater, I was angry with him — and just as angry with myself. Why did I believe his lies and empty promises? I knew he was taking my money; why did I stay? I beat myself up. I couldn’t let go of my mistake with the sociopath. The realization that I’d made a massive error in marrying this man was, of course, just one aspect of my emotional turmoil. I was betrayed — Montgomery cheated on me with multiple women. In fact, he had a child with another woman during our marriage. He also convinced me to finance his business plans, which were really just get-rich-quick schemes, until a …
Understanding the spiritual and energetic dimensions of your experience with the sociopath, and how spiritual guidance can assist you.
Sociopaths can sense deep emotional wounds in the human energy field
UPDATED FOR 2024: A Lovefraud reader sent me the following question:"I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this?"This reader posts as "Sam." I previously published her story as a "Letter to Lovefraud." She has deep emotional wounds, and the explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it:I have no further use to him and I am being disposed ofSam's story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her:Can you imagine the breadth and depth of Sam's emotional wounds? These wounds are the reason why Sam keeps …
Sociopaths can sense deep emotional wounds in the human energy fieldRead More
5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received the following inquiry from a reader whom we'll call "Leslie-Marie," who believes that she was involved with multiple sociopaths. She writes:Is it not uncommon for people to have several relationships with sociopaths and/or narcissists throughout their life? I am wondering if you would do a write up on this topic as I find it so difficult to explain to others. They look at me in such disbelief, as if I'm making it up. It would be nice to have something to back me up. I can count 7 at least that I am certain of and have been closely involved with... Would you also consider explaining how this cycle can continue on what is it about us that attracts them or …
5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopathsRead More
To recover from the sociopath, allow yourself to feel the pain
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud published a Spath Tale in which a reader, "simpleme56," describes her terrible experience of multiple betrayals. Here's how she begins her story: I came from an abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, and worked hard for over thirty years to heal, to educate myself to be able to understand the dynamics of my abuser and move forward in my life. Believing she finally found an incredible man, she left the abusive marriage, but quickly learned, to her horror, that the new man was another abuser. Here's her story: Back and forth, from the abusive husband to the sociopathic boyfriend It seems so disheartening. Simpleme56 worked hard to understand what had ha …
To recover from the sociopath, allow yourself to feel the painRead More
Understanding trauma, the brain on PTSD, and real options for recovery
Book Review: The Body Keeps the Score — Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. Review by Donna Andersen Many, many Lovefraud readers say that after your experience with a sociopath, you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Even if you haven't been diagnosed by a professional, you're probably right. But what, exactly, does that mean? What happens to your brain on PTSD? And what can you do about it? All the answers are in this book. The Body Keeps the Score — Brain, mind and body in the healing of trauma, is the best explanation I've ever seen on the causes, effects and treatment of trauma. I strongly recommend that every mental health pro …
Understanding trauma, the brain on PTSD, and real options for recoveryRead More
Why betrayal by a sociopath hurts so much
This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please see Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. UPDATED FOR 2023. If you're like most Lovefraud readers, you may find it difficult to put into words the depth of the pain romantic betrayal causes. Discovering that your romantic partner, the person who claimed to be your soul mate, proclaimed unending love and promised a future of golden togetherness, was lying all along and totally deceived you, causes indescribable agony. Sandra Lee Dennis, Ph.D., has put your suffering into words. I read her book, Love and the Mystery of Betrayal — Recovering your trust and faith after trauma, deception and loss of love. It is the best description I' …
After the sociopath, I still feel numb – what can I do?
UPDATED FOR 2023. After discovering that someone close to you, someone you trusted, totally betrayed you, it would certainly be expected that you'd feel anger, outrage, or sadness. But many people who have this experience simply feel numb. For example, Lovefraud received the following email from a reader: It has been about 3 years since I discovered what happened to me. I've had no contact with my spaths. Yet I still feel numb and broken. I feel like I have tried almost everything to get through this dark time. I feel so lost. I feel so robbed of my life and my children have been too. What can I do now? I'm running out of solutions. I don't want to feel like this anymore.... please …
After the sociopath, I still feel numb – what can I do?Read More
After the sociopath, how to overcome the fear of dating
My ex-husband thoroughly betrayed me. He defrauded me, cheated prolifically, had a child with another woman during our marriage, and then committed bigamy. When people hear my outrageous story, they often ask, how did I overcome the fear of dating after the sociopath? Wasn’t I afraid that I’d meet another one? I’ve found that it is certainly possible to overcome the fear of dating again. I’ll explain how to do it. Heartbroken by a sociopath If you’ve been left heartbroken by a sociopath, you may feel gun shy about putting yourself out there in search of a new partner. This is totally understandable. The sociopath swept into your life, love bombed you, and promised that the two of you wo …
After the sociopath, how to overcome the fear of datingRead More
In Recovery: Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains why it gets worse before it gets better when you start your recovery from the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest You know how it is when you look around your house and realise it needs a good cleaning? And then you realise it needs a good clearing out, too? You start thinking of everything that's stashed away in drawers and cupboards, the basement, the attic, shelves and closets, you just know there's a ton of "stuff" that could stand a good going through. And you think, "Oh, man, what a lot of work," and it's not fun, but it really ought to be …
In Recovery: Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets BetterRead More
Ease Your Stress with Buddha’s Smiling Meditation – It Works!
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers a way to ease your stress of dealing with a sociopath — Buddha's smiling meditation. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest For some time now, I've wanted to tell you about the Buddha's smiling meditation. The Buddha, in all his great wisdom, taught about this many long years ago. In times of stress or emotional upset, it's an especially simple, yet powerful way to lift yourself to a place of peace and calm. And it's always been a favourite amongst my meditation students. If you try it, you'll soon know why. You're going to love this sweet little meditation! It's …
Ease Your Stress with Buddha’s Smiling Meditation – It Works!Read More