Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) You know sometimes we tell others about the things that we have gone through, and hope that they see by our example what has happened to us because of our associations with psychopaths or with people who are high in dysfunctional traits common to psychopaths. Sometimes people “get it,” and sometimes they don't get it. A passage of the Bible refers to this: And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying Behold a sower went forth to sow; and when he sowed some seeds fell by the wayside, and the fowls came and devoured the …
What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or defeat it? (Part II)
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Special note from the author, Travis Vining: Some of the content in this article may be unsettling to some. I would ask that the reader please recognize that the following definition and interpretation of forgiveness is from years of personal experience, reading, learning, practicing and teaching. It did not come easy, and in the beginning, I was just as unwilling as most to accept forgiveness as a possible solution to my problem. It is very “normal” to experience an emotional response to the idea that we play a part in our own suffering when the pain is still fres …
What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or defeat it? (Part II)Read More
What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or conquer it? (Part I)
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Forgive, as a word, and as an ideal, is very misunderstood in our world. Not only is the idea misunderstood, but the word itself is often intensely disliked. The act of Forgiveness does not release the perpetrator from responsibility for their crimes, nor condone the behavior. Forgiveness is about letting go, a process that releases us from another's destructive hold over our lives. It is not about accepting, trusting, or increasing future suffering. To the contrary, Forgiveness is simply releasing pain from the past in order to end future …
What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or conquer it? (Part I)Read More
The Confusion of a Child of A Sociopath
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My father appeared to be a very successful business man. Our family lived in a home on Biscayne Bay, had money and was very well known. He served as a pilot in the Air Force, was very good looking and extremely charming. From the outside, our life looked almost perfect. Like any young boy, I idolized my dad. When in his presence, I was almost hypnotized by him. I was extremely attracted to the way he approached life. I guess it's normal for a boy to want to be just like his father. I wanted to believe everything that he told me. As best I could tell, he treated me …
Gratitude and Miracles
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. It is easy to get caught up in the pain and suffering and not see all the good. Often times, when we are most hurt, it is difficult to see anything but pain and evil. The world is full of good, selfless giving, love and miracles. We just need to look for it! I like a saying I once heard that goes like this”¦ “You are what you pay attention” This is true for me because when I am grateful, I feel good. And when I feel good, I anticipate good things and miracles. If I am looking for these things, they tend to materialize. Today I am grateful for all of y …
When clergy are abusers
Editor's note: The following list was compiled by Carolyn Waterstradt, who holds a masters degree in theology and will graduate with masters degree in social work in April 2012. Carolyn owns Inner Quest Healing, where she works with survivors of clergy sexual abuse. This partial list of grooming techniques was compiled from her research with 18 women who were abused by a member of the clergy. Her book, "Fighting the Good Fight: Healing and Advocacy after Clergy Sexual Assault," is a compilation of this research and will be available in spring 2012. This article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. 10 Grooming Techniques Commonly Used in Cle …
What Does Healing Look Like?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Healing does not always look like what “I” think it should look. Last week's post was another example. I checked it late in the evening and read many posts that sounded like my post was doing more harm than good to some. Frankly, it made me uncomfortable for a moment and I needed to think about what I was feeling. I'd prefer everyone to say wonderful things about these posts and get well immediately, but that is not how it works. The Truth often makes us uncomfortable, because it means that we have a choice, and can do something about how we are feeling. The a …
Please Forgive me for the topic! – Compassion for The Sociopath?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. How can this be? Is it right, or possible to have compassion for a sociopath? Why should I consider this topic after all the pain that the sociopath has caused me? For some, the very idea may make you angry. If so, my hope is that you read more”¦ In the beginning, I looked at my father as a spiritual vampire with no soul. A person that lived off of others, consuming their money, emotions, kindness and love, then moving on to another. In my dad's case, he even took their very lives. He deserved to die, I thought. I was OK with the idea of him being condemned …
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Unforgiven Fear Mongers – Who is hurting me now?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. If someone is continuously harming you, and refuses to stop, should they be forgiven? This is a question that I hope you will try answer at the end of this post. My dad is a convicted serial killer. He killed 4 people and told me about the crimes with great pride. He used me, his favorite son, to help him destroy evidence when he felt that I might be a risk. He made me a part of this so that I would not go to police. He abused my mom, and brothers and sisters. This is not the place to try to make one experience with a sociopath out to be any worse than anot …
Suffering, Agony and The Pathway to Peace
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. There are times when I feel completely lost in all this pain, with no way out. It is as if I have been completely abandoned in a world full of hurt. There seems to be no one, or no thing, that I can trust anymore. All of the things that I used to enjoy only bring me temporary relief, at best. My mind obsesses about what happened, what could have been, and what misery the future holds. It feels as though my very life has been taken from me. Hopelessness has become my home, and fear my constant companion. If you recognize this state of mind, “you are not alone” …