Book reviews

My first book, Love Fraud - How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, tells two parallel stories—the outrageous tale of my involvement with the sociopath James Montgomery, my spiritual journey to understand why it happened, and how it helped me return to wholeness. I will host a FREE online book discussion, via videoconference, on March 13, 2019, at 8 p.m. ET. Please join me — if you read the book recently, long ago or even if you haven't quite finished it. (You can choose to participate anonymously if you want.) Discussion questions are below. Register here: Lovefraud Video Conference Book Discussion  About the book: What is it really like to be hooked by a …

‘Love Fraud’ – FREE online book discussion March 13Read More

My husband, James Montgomery, convinced me to move to Florida by saying he had a deal to launch our new Titanic Exhibition. He lied. I was broke. Now what were we going to do? By Donna Andersen By the first week of February 1999, James had been in Orlando for more than two months. I’d been there for six weeks. I was still working on plans for the exhibition at Wild Bill’s, and needed more information about the facility’s dimensions. I called the dinner theater’s office. “We have the Titanic exhibition that’s going into Wild Bill’s,” I said to the manager who answered the phone. “I’d like to stop by and take some more measurements.” “The Titanic exhibition!” exclaimed the manager. …

Love Fraud book excerpt: One more massive lie from my sociopath husbandRead More

Finally, my husband, James Montgomery, found a project that might actually become reality — a Titanic Exhibition. He and a partner had secured investors, we'd assembled a collection of artifacts, I was planning the show — and then it all fell apart. By Donna Andersen On Thanksgiving morning, as usual, James got up long before me and went down to his office in the basement, even though he just flew in from Las Vegas the day before. I was in the kitchen, getting ready to prepare my contribution to the day’s feast—a casserole of carrots and apples—when he came upstairs, wearing his bathrobe. “We should leave around one o’clock for my uncle’s house,” I said. “All right,” James …

Love Fraud book excerpt: Because of my husband, I was about to lose everythingRead More

I had been married to James Montgomery for about a year and a half, and he went on overnight and weekend "business trips" the entire time. I didn't want to think about what he was doing — until I had to. By Donna Andersen My husband was cheating on me. The letter from the Bank of Boston credit card department confirmed it. This was the credit card I had given to James. He spent the money; I paid the bills. On the March statement was a charge for the Berlin Motor Lodge. I knew exactly where this place was and what it looked like. It was a small highway motel on Route 73 in Berlin, New Jersey, 35 minutes from where we lived in Atlantic City. There was absolutely no reason for James to …

Love Fraud book excerpt: What I did about my husband’s cheatingRead More

By Donna Andersen We married secretly in Australia. Then six months after we met, had another wedding, complete with a reception and band, attended by family and friends. By this time I had already spent more than $53,000 on my husband's projects, much of it on my credit cards. My brother's birthday was in March, and on a Sunday afternoon his wife planned a small celebration in their home. James said he had to work, as usual, so I went alone. Toward the end of the party, my brother cornered me in the family room. “You know, Donna, Dad is concerned about James,” he began. “What’s he concerned about?” “He thinks James doesn’t have any money and you paid for the entire …

Love Fraud book excerpt: If my family knew what was really going on in my marriageRead More

By Donna Andersen Not long after we met in person, James Montgomery proposed to me — he was smitten with me, and proclaimed we'd make a great team. But it felt like he was taking over my existence. What was I getting myself into? Life became a spinning tornado, with James at the center of it. He was working at full speed on all his projects, yet called me many times a day, keeping me apprised of his progress. He told me about his meetings, forwarding reports and faxes. He also asked for my help. James wrote newsletters for the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans Association and his new Lions Club. He wanted me to use my vendors to get them printed and mailed. I was busy as well. My …

Love Fraud book excerpt: Was the relationship moving too fast, or was I just afraid?Read More

By Donna Andersen I met James Montgomery online in 1996. Although he was originally from Sydney, Australia, he moved to New Jersey and lived about a half-hour from my home. After corresponding for a month, we met for breakfast: My scrambled eggs arrived—James only ordered coffee. “So you’ve worked in Hollywood?” I asked. “Yes, I was one of the founders of the cable channel, Movietime. Later the channel was sold to Time Warner and became E! Entertainment Television. When I was there, our concept was to make Movietime interactive. But this was back in the late ’80s—we were ahead of our time. “I also did some screenwriting—I have credits for Crocodile Dundee II. The Crocodile Dundee …

Love Fraud book excerpt: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath)Read More

When you're single, Valentine's Day is rough. I know, because from my teenage years through age 40, I never had a romance going on Valentine's Day. I was lonely, and loneliness sets you up as a fat, juicy target for a sociopath. The commercialization of the holiday doesn't help. When you're "between relationships," all the advertising for jewelry, flowers and special restaurant menus is painful — a constant reminder that romance is missing from your life. When I was alone, I couldn't figure it out. I was reasonably attractive, nice, considerate, successful, active and loved to have fun. What was the problem? Why couldn't I get a date? So there I was, single and about to turn 40, …

As Valentine’s Day approaches: Why was I betrayed by the sociopath?Read More

The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., is a classic for describing sociopathic behavior. I've never written about it on Lovefraud. The reason is quite simple: I read the book when it was first published in early 2005, shortly before Lovefraud launched. I just finished reading it again. I've learned a lot about sociopaths in the last 13 years, so this read was certainly a different experience. The first time I read the book, much of what Stout wrote was a revelation. Here are my observations from the second time around: Stout does a good job of describing sociopathic motivation, but her book fails to capture how dangerous and destructive these people are. The reason, I …

15 valuable lessons from ‘The Sociopath Next Door’Read More