Editor's note: Lovefraud offers authors who write about their experience with sociopaths an opportunity to tell the Lovefraud community about their books. Aleena Grace Barteau wrote, "Bow Down B**ch! — Being a Fool, Loving a Liar; under the controlling power of an abusive man," which is available on Amazon. By Aleena Grace Barteau My abuser is a sociopath. I had never heard the term before until one day when I met with my counselor in a desperate attempt to “fix” the relationship—because I loved my abuser so much. My therapist, who had a Ph.D. in psychology, had been working with the two of us. After spending much time with us both, running some psychological tests on my partner, and o …
Why I wrote ‘Involved with a Cad for 7 Years in the Twilight Zone’
By Darlene Nolin I wrote my new book, Involved with a Cad for 7 Years in the Twilight Zone, so that I could gain some peace while going through my journey of healing and recovering after marriage fraud and abuse. It enabled me to move forward with my life in a more positive direction. I wanted to shine a bright light on a very dark chapter in my life, instead of sweeping it under the rug. My story is an eye-opening cautionary tale exposing the devastating consequences of predatory foreign nationals who initiate internet relationships for the purpose of obtaining a green card through marriage to an American citizen. It was an ill-fated relationship marked by indifference, adversity, …
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Why I wrote, ‘No One Knew’ – I married a sociopath
By Renee Olivier Many people don’t know or aren’t even aware of what a sociopath is and what they are capable of. I wasn’t aware until I left my ex-husband. I felt very isolated and alone when I was in that relationship and anyone who has been with a sociopath understands that. I lived this parasitic lifestyle for eight years with a very dangerous, unstable, and evil person. If someone feels something is off about their partner or starts to notice a pattern of behavior that seeks to take away their freedom and sense of self through demands, threats, and manipulation, then the best thing to do is to get away immediately from that person. The Reason I Wanted To Write This Book, 'No One Kn …
Book review: How three girls survived their psychopathic mother
If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood, by Gregg Olsen Review by Emilie18 Disturbing and heartrending, If You Tell is a survivor’s story of absolute evil at the hands of a psychopathic mother, Michelle “Shelly” Knotek —and the freedom and justice that her three daughters, Nikki, Sami, and Tori, risked their lives to fight for. This book paints a vivid portrait of a narcissistic psychopath and goes into astonishing detail of how this woman operates and thinks, how she picks her victims, how she controls them and how she ultimately causes their demise. It may push more than a few buttons for Lovefraud readers, but it impressed me as b …
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New! Best of the Lovefraud Blog Series
Understanding the Sociopath explains, in plain language, the 12% of the population who do not play by the same rules of life as the rest of us. These master manipulators, who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders, seem normal at first, but their objective is to use and exploit us. Seduced by a Sociopath explains how millions of people pursuing romantic relationships are charming, affectionate, passionate — and fake. These deceptive sociopaths pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. Learn how they convince you to fall for them, so you can spot the charade and escape. Dealing with a Sociopath explains how to i …
Book Review: The psychopaths of the Holocaust
Holocaust Memories: A survey of Holocaust memoirs, histories, novels, and films, by Claudia Moscovici Review by Donna Andersen Most of us have some knowledge of the Holocaust. We've heard about the concentration camps and gas chambers. We know one of Adolf Hitler's objectives during World War II was the "Final Solution" — an attempt to wipe out the Jewish population of Europe. We know that six million Jews were murdered, plus millions more Communists, prisoners of war, gypsies, intellectuals, handicapped people and others. We may have seen movies like Schindler's List and Sophie's Choice. Maybe we read The Diary of Anne Frank. But it's doubtful that we understand the true brutality o …
Understanding the Sociopath — a new book by Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud
If you've been deceived and abused by a sociopath, you've probably asked yourself, "Why is he (or she) doing this?" I answer that question, and many more, in my new book, Understanding the Sociopath — Why antisocials, narcissists and psychopaths break the rules of life. The book goes on sale on October 1, 2019. This book is a curated collection of my Lovefraud blog articles that explains, in bite-sized pieces, how sociopaths behave, what motivates their behavior, and why they do what they do. Approximately 12% of the population — 30 million adults in the U.S. —are sociopaths — people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic persona …
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Book Review: Why humans are both virtuous and violent
The Goodness Paradox: The strange relationship between virtue and violence in human evolution, by Richard Wrangham Review by Donna Andersen The central premise of this fascinating book is that humans — Homo sapiens — are domesticated primates, and this accounts for our ability to be both incredibly altruistic and incredibly brutal. The author, Richard Wrangham, is a professor of biological anthropology at Harvard. In making his argument, he reviews thousands of years of evolution of both humans and other species. This book is a fascinating look at where we came from and how our evolution affects our behavior. Philosophers, religious leaders and ordinary people have debated the nat …
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People who can ruin your life, and how to deal with them
BOOK REVIEW: 5 Types of people who can ruin your life - Identifying and dealing with narcissists, sociopaths and other high-conflict personalities, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Review by Donna Andersen Yes, millions of people with serious personality disorders have the potential to ruin your life. 5 Types of people who can ruin your life, by Bill Eddy, is the first book I've seen that draws attention to the multiple personality disorders that spell trouble for interpersonal relationships. Bill Eddy is a lawyer and social worker who leads the High Conflict Institute, an organization which educates people about high-conflict personalities and high-conflict disputes. His previous book, …
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Love Fraud book excerpt: One more massive lie from my sociopath husband
My husband, James Montgomery, convinced me to move to Florida by saying he had a deal to launch our new Titanic Exhibition. He lied. I was broke. Now what were we going to do? By Donna Andersen By the first week of February 1999, James had been in Orlando for more than two months. I’d been there for six weeks. I was still working on plans for the exhibition at Wild Bill’s, and needed more information about the facility’s dimensions. I called the dinner theater’s office. “We have the Titanic exhibition that’s going into Wild Bill’s,” I said to the manager who answered the phone. “I’d like to stop by and take some more measurements.” “The Titanic exhibition!” exclaimed the manager. …
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