Book reviews

By Donna Andersen Not long after we met in person, James Montgomery proposed to me — he was smitten with me, and proclaimed we'd make a great team. But it felt like he was taking over my existence. What was I getting myself into? Life became a spinning tornado, with James at the center of it. He was working at full speed on all his projects, yet called me many times a day, keeping me apprised of his progress. He told me about his meetings, forwarding reports and faxes. He also asked for my help. James wrote newsletters for the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans Association and his new Lions Club. He wanted me to use my vendors to get them printed and mailed. I was busy as well. My …

Love Fraud book excerpt: Was the relationship moving too fast, or was I just afraid?Read More

By Donna Andersen I met James Montgomery online in 1996. Although he was originally from Sydney, Australia, he moved to New Jersey and lived about a half-hour from my home. After corresponding for a month, we met for breakfast: My scrambled eggs arrived—James only ordered coffee. “So you’ve worked in Hollywood?” I asked. “Yes, I was one of the founders of the cable channel, Movietime. Later the channel was sold to Time Warner and became E! Entertainment Television. When I was there, our concept was to make Movietime interactive. But this was back in the late ’80s—we were ahead of our time. “I also did some screenwriting—I have credits for Crocodile Dundee II. The Crocodile Dundee …

Love Fraud book excerpt: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath)Read More

When you're single, Valentine's Day is rough. I know, because from my teenage years through age 40, I never had a romance going on Valentine's Day. I was lonely, and loneliness sets you up as a fat, juicy target for a sociopath. The commercialization of the holiday doesn't help. When you're "between relationships," all the advertising for jewelry, flowers and special restaurant menus is painful — a constant reminder that romance is missing from your life. When I was alone, I couldn't figure it out. I was reasonably attractive, nice, considerate, successful, active and loved to have fun. What was the problem? Why couldn't I get a date? So there I was, single and about to turn 40, …

As Valentine’s Day approaches: Why was I betrayed by the sociopath?Read More

The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., is a classic for describing sociopathic behavior. I've never written about it on Lovefraud. The reason is quite simple: I read the book when it was first published in early 2005, shortly before Lovefraud launched. I just finished reading it again. I've learned a lot about sociopaths in the last 13 years, so this read was certainly a different experience. The first time I read the book, much of what Stout wrote was a revelation. Here are my observations from the second time around: Stout does a good job of describing sociopathic motivation, but her book fails to capture how dangerous and destructive these people are. The reason, I …

15 valuable lessons from ‘The Sociopath Next Door’Read More

My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, lied from the very beginning of our involvement, right through to the end. His first lies were in his online profile — age 49 (he was 55), financially secure (he had no money at all), an entrepreneur (never built a successful business in his life). When we met in person, the lies continued nonstop. Here’s some of what I heard: Lie: I won the Victoria Cross for my heroism in Vietnam (complete with a commendation). Truth: He was never in Vietnam, in fact, never in the military. His commendation was forged. Lie: I will be the next Walt Disney. Truth: He couldn’t get a job as Dumbo. Lie: I don’t have a gay bone in my body. Truth: I …

Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?Read More

Lovefraud.com launched in July 2005, so we're celebrating 13 years online! In honor of our anniversary, you can buy all three of Donna Andersen's printed books for $24.50 — a savings of 57%. Red Flats of Love Fraud - 10 signs you're dating a sociopath This self-help book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. You'll learn how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it's hard to escape the relationships, and how you can protect yourself. More info Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook The scary truth is that sociopaths can't seduce us without our own involvement. Why did you believe his or her …

Anniversary Sale on all 3 printed Lovefraud books — save 57%!Read More

Editor's note: Dr. Amber Ault is a Lovefraud contributor and author of "The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Psychopath, Narcissist, or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now." Dear Donna, It’s been a year this month since the brutal murder of my second cousin, Linnea Satterfield, by her ex-partner. Sensitive to the possible impact on your readers of sharing the horrific details, I won’t recount them here. I will say, however, that the circumstances are familiar: the toxic ex had a history of violence against women before he and my cousin became involved; theirs was a relationship reported to be contentious; and she had recently ended it. She was killed after …

In honor of her murdered cousin, Dr. Amber Ault offers a deal on ‘The Five Step Exit’ bookRead More

The Miracle in the Madness — Grateful to be the son of a murderer, by Travis Vining Review by Donna Andersen The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Travis Vining is the son of a sociopathic serial killer. His father, John Bruce Vining, killed four people, and coerced Travis, as a young man, into helping him escape prosecution. How does anyone cope with that? Travis tried to forget what happened, and he did, sort of. His psyche repressed direct memory of many incidents. But the efforts of his mind had repercussions in his body. Travis had all kinds of physical problems, ranging from rashes to addiction to …

Book Review: ‘Miracle in the Madness:’ All real therapy is release from the pastRead More

My Sweet Encounter with Death, by Ana Christina Review by Mary Ann Glyn, LCSW Ana had two relationships with seemingly opposite personality types. Her husband of many years revealed a controlling nature early on, but as you all know, divorce is not the first thing you think of doing when things are not going well in your marriage, especially once children come, and especially if your culture and belief system dictate otherwise. Ana found herself trapped in an unbearable prison where she remained until she eventually found the strength and conviction to leave. Once freed, she reconnected with a former love whose personality appeared to be the antithesis of her ex-husband’s. She was …

Book Review: Domestic violence that lead to a near-death experienceRead More