How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I am not, and never have been mad – just stressed and traumatized because of him

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Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Laverne." I feel that my life has been basically ruined (and is still being ruined) by the father of my children who is a truly vicious sociopath. He stalks the background of my life like the Grim Reaper feeding off the misery he causes. For anyone who has not had this type of experience it is very hard to explain, as sociopaths, such as my ex partner, appear so 'normal' to others, whilst making you, the victim, seem like the 'mad' one. As we have children together I feel like I am trapped and the only way out is if he were to die. My whole existence is one of nervous terror - waiting for the next …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was all a fraud (Part 3 – Escape, Freedom and Love)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. Read Part 1 — The Imbalance. Part 2 — Absolute Power. This is Part 3.   We get married and my son goes to trade school Now, it was decided when we left for our honeymoon July of 2010 that the $600 a month X had been collecting since the previous April (and keeping) in rent from my property would become only $300 beginning that August -- allowing my son to then keep $75 weekly for his needs. It was also at this time that my son, following through with his part in our plans for him, began Trade school. He graduated that following May and becam …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was a fraud (Part 2 – Absolute power)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. Read Part 1 — The Imbalance. This is Part 2 — Absolute Power. Kindhearted people too often are preyed upon by Narcissists  I have known many Narcissists in my lifetime. I had not yet been schooled on the psychology of narcissism though, but looking back now, obviously my education had begun, I just had not realized yet what it was that I was seeing. I chuckle still as I recall X exclaim that he could relate well with all my exes, evil men, drug addicts, pedophiles, violent men and thieves, who like him, once they realized they could not be who they …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was a fraud (Part 1 – The imbalance)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. This is Part 1 — The Imbalance. I have never been ashamed of surviving what others are capable of, in fact once I fight back the bitterness and anger I fill with pride that it wasn't in my heart to even fathom their true intent. Inasmuch as it hurts to breathe the stagnant air of the world's disease, too many, looking out for themselves at any cost, I would rather endure the hell I have, losing all that others covet in their attempts to emulate what they can only pretend to be. I prefer it be that I don't have it in my heart to see such things e …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Alone. Exhausted. Lonely. Stressed. Stuck.

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Editor's note: This letter was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Billyjean.” All names in this letter have been changed. Donna Andersen will comment on this story tomorrow. When I met "Joseph," I had been through my fair share of heartbreak. I was a single mum with a five-year-old little girl, who had little contact with her dad, a Swedish national, and, as I was from overseas, I had no family here. No grandma and grandpa for her, no aunties or uncles. I had to be everything. I did my best to give her a happy home. Dating as a single parent is tricky. You have to consider carefully when is the right time to introduce a prospective new partner to your little one …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Alone. Exhausted. Lonely. Stressed. Stuck.Read More

My ex-husband and his mother both have narcissistic personality disorder

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Mary Agnes.” I married a Narcissist and am SO glad we are not together anymore! It took stupid love-blind me a few years to work out what my Narcissist-ex husband was doing. In short, he was stealing money from my family wealth over the years and giving it to his mother to spend on first class travel, cars, paintings, clothes, etc. I spoke to a psychologist who informed me that it was likely that his mother and he were both narcissistic personality disorders, plus he was co-dependent on his mother. He stole to feed his mother, both of them without empathy. In fact, his mother was really nasty to me t …

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I still feel like a fool for being blinded by love

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 Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Gerald." At age 62, I married a gal I'd been in love with all my life. I'd known her in high school and when I re-connected with her I felt that my two divorces were just dues I had to pay to get "the real thing." I told her that marrying her was like winning the lottery for me. She soon began to manifest some troubling behaviors fabricating supposed cheating incidents that never happened and misunderstanding small incidents. She became hyper-critical of everything I said or did. The first real clue I had to the nature of the problem was when I mentioned a book I'd read, "The Sociopath Next Door." …

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The tragic outcome of 30 years with a sociopath

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Editor's Note: This SPATH tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Corrine." I stayed married to a narcisstic personality disordered sociopath for 25 years. He always had mistresses he would throw up in my face and sincerely enjoyed hurting me, through words, looks, violence and strangulation. He used to hurt the children because he knew it would hurt me. I was always dealing with some crisis, real or imagined on his part. I realize now that it was what he used to distance himself so he would not have to be intimate. He never displayed affection, or caring for any of his children (three sons and one daughter). He died two weeks ago and there is nothing in his w …

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Abusers and their 5-step strategy to get women to drop charges

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A new study reveals the five-step strategy men who are charged with felony domestic violence use to get their female victims to recant their stories. Researcher Amy Bonomi, associate professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University, and her team, listened to recorded phone calls between incarcerated men and their female victims. The analysis of these conversations may fundamentally change how victim advocates and prosecutors work with domestic violence victims to prosecute abusers, according to the researchers. Jailhouse phone calls reveal why domestic violence victims recant, from Science Daily. "Meet me at the hill where we used to park": interpersonal …

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Our son acts just like his sociopath father; maybe even worse

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Good Mom.” The father of my son was a spath. He is now deceased. He killed himself. He was a drug and alcohol addict and he was very abusive. I was beaten regularly. I was a possession. He owned me and he owned everything that was mine. He lied as easily as he breathed. I went through a very difficult break up with him when my son was 3 years old. I did not know until after his death that he was a spath. We have a son who is now 37 years old, and I do believe this is hereditary because he is also a spath and acts exactly the same as his father, maybe even worse. I had never known anyone who beh …

Our son acts just like his sociopath father; maybe even worseRead More