Sociopaths and family

by Quinn Pierce A Stifling Silence One of my ex-husband's favorite tools of manipulation was the silent treatment. On the surface, it seemed like a childish ploy to get what he wanted, but in reality, the silent treatment is a behavior abusers use to attack their partner's vulnerability and self-esteem in order to exert control. I can clearly see now that my ex-husband took plenty of  time in the beginning of our relationship to assess how I would react to the silent treatment.  It is a skill he practiced and perfected along the way, until the greatest impact was achieved. A sociopath won't risk losing the relationship, so it was a complicated game he played to keep me off-balance, b …

Tools of a Sociopath: Using the Silent Treatment to Manipulate and ControlRead More

by Quinn Pierce A Repeat Performance I looked around the room trying to assess the damage.  With each tear that fell, I could sense a shift in the room.  All I could think was, “Oh great, how can I possible convince this entire group of people that this is an act?  These tears are not real!  These words do not mean anything!  He will leave here and continue to abuse and harass this child he cries for right now!" Instead, I said nothing.   Such is the reality of having married and divorced a sociopath.  It's a never ending struggle to maintain my composure when faced with lies, manipulation, deceit, and of course, his repeat performance as the consummate victim. Minimizing Conflict …

Tracking the False Tears of a SociopathRead More

by Quinn Pierce What's Yours Is Mine... When teaching preschoolers, it can be very entertaining to watch the children interact according to the inherent set of rules set forth by this age group. This list of rules may be long, but the rules themselves are very simple: If it's mine, it's mine If it's yours, it's mine If I like it, it's mine If I think it's mine, it's mine If I can take it from you, it's mine If it's broken, it's your fault”¦and so on.  Everything Is His Possession Interestingly, this is the same set of rules that my ex-husband applied to our divorce.  It became very clear that he considered every object in his life a possession, including people, and he was enti …

Divorcing a Sociopath: Redefining PossessionsRead More

by Quinn Pierce  Recently, I came across a list of the most difficult jobs in the world.  The top contenders included: U. S. President, UN Negotiator, Prison Warden, and Air Traffic Controller, to name a few.  I don't argue that these are extremely stressful and challenging career choices, but I believe there is one that should have made the list, even if it isn't officially considered a career, and requires financial, emotional, and psychological debt rather than income: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath. A Daily Challenge As if parenting isn't challenging enough, trying to navigate the crazy-making, drama-filled world of a sociopath who has the ability to influence and harm your children …

Co-Parenting with a Sociopath Should Make the List of the Most Difficult Jobs in the WorldRead More

by Quinn Pierce  One of my least favorite activities is walking through the women's fragrance department at the mall.  I always reach the other side of the store trying to hold my breath while fighting the impending headache and dizziness that always follows.  By the time I get home, I feel as though every area of my environment has been saturated; the scent lingers on my clothes, in my car, in my hair”¦ It is with similar annoyance that I recognize the clinging traces of my ex-husband's sociopathic behaviors in my own responses to current situations.  For instance, throughout my relationship, my ex-husband often criticized or attacked my decisions and actions that were independent of his …

Recovering from the Lingering Effects of a SociopathRead More

by Quinn Pierce  I sat in the small, tastefully furnished room and listened to the tick”¦tick”¦tick of the clock.  I had long since stopped listening to the conversation going on around me. This was not the way it was supposed to be.  I stepped into the psychologist's office less than a half hour earlier full of optimism and hope.  Unfortunately, I was, once again, realizing how naive I had been. An Insincere Effort For nearly a year, I had been begging and pleading with my (then) husband to come to marriage counseling.  Our relationship was deteriorating a a rate that was destined for destruction.  He always supported me and the children going to counseling, so I was amazed when he a …

Failed Attempts at Marriage Counseling with a SociopathRead More

 by Quinn Pierce At the heart of every sociopath is insecurity.  These individuals crave adoration, praise, and power above all other emotional needs.  Decisions are not based on weighing pros and cons, an internal moral compass, or even  possible consequences. Instead, a sociopath will usually make decisions for one of three reasons: putting themselves in a favorable light to be admired by others, hurting someone who is no longer an ally, or personal gain.  Of course, their most coveted decisions are those that result in a combination of two or more of these outcomes. Hiding the Truth During my marriage, I enabled this process by making excuses for my husband,  or pretending he was a …

Divorcing A Sociopath: Getting Away, Staying AwayRead More