How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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How psychopathic parents create complex trauma in their children

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By Dr. Kathy Ahern An earthquake strikes in the middle of the night. A four-year-old child is trapped in a demolished house. She is left without food or water, help or support for three terrifying days. In a different city another child the same age is neglected by her self-absorbed parents. They ignore her cries of hunger and fear for three days. Years later, the earthquake victim suffers no ill effects from her experience. The child who was physically and emotionally abandoned grows into an adult suffering from complex PTSD. The physical and emotional traumas were identical. So why the difference? Betrayal. The neglected child was dependent on her parents. She needed them. She …

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Smear campaign set me up as the abusive parent

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who describes how her husband's smear campaign set her up at the abusive parent. He accused me of cheating on him which he kept these accusations going for the last two years of our marriage never believing me. He went to my family and friends crying and carrying on that I was cheating also that I was taking household money to buy drugs off the streets (didn’t happen I didn’t do this). He stalked me at my work — used a GPS tracking device and recording device on my van. He had altercations with management and the members of the country club I worked at. He never let me sleep, always creating a fight at night so I was sleep …

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A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic ex

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Allison23. She reveals how her ex-husband got her thrown into the psych ward — twice. The sociopath in my life “saved” me from my abusive mother and got me out of the trailer park. I eventually earned 4 degrees, one of which was an MD. Looking back, the relationship was always controlling, but he made me believe that he was doing what he did because he needed to “mold” me into the perfect woman because my parents “didn’t do a good job”. As soon as I started making more money than him, his violence escalated and I finally got the courage to leave him in the middle of the night. Little did I know this would be …

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Note to self: Do not break the No Contact rule

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Editor’s note: The Lovefraud authorEleanor Cowan, who wrote "A History of a Pedophile’s Wife," describes what happened when she thought she could break the No Contact rule. By Eleanor Cowan Wow! What just happened? Whammo! I was abused this week, completely out of the blue, entirely unexpected, and yet, oh so familiar. I feel black and blue, and I make no mistake, verbal lashings leave me bruised too. I invited my younger brother, a fellow with whom I’ve never achieved a mutual relationship, for a nice fish ‘n chip supper at a local restaurant. We’re both living in the same city now, and I wanted to reach out. My bro, one of the youngest in our alcoholic family, has a history of alcohol …

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Why psychopathic parents engage in parental alienation

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For years, the conventional wisdom in the mental health field was that psychopathic parents abandon their children. If this is true, why do some psychopaths fight to keep their children away from the other parent? Why do they engage in parental alienation to pry the children away? Or why do they accuse the other parent of alienating them from the children? Lovefraud’s Dr. Liane Leedom led a research team a few years ago to examine the parenting behavior of psychopaths. Data are hard to come by — psychopaths often blend into society, and their children can’t articulate what they are experiencing. So Dr. Leedom took a creative approach to gathering data — the team read the memoirs of people wh …

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Grandparents can also engage in parental alienation

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Parental alienation, according to Joan Kloth-Zanard, founder of PAS-Intervention.org, is one parent deliberately impeding the relationship between children and their other parent. It’s a form of psychological abuse, Kloth-Zanard says. In fact, she describes parental alienation as domestic violence by proxy. This usually occurs within the context of divorce and child custody battles. Alienating behaviors include teaching the child to fear, hate or be angry with the other parent, deliberately blocking visitation, and filing false claims of abuse or neglect. When this happens, the targeted parent may have no choice but to go to court to fight the charges and reclaim their relationship with t …

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Her father felt sorry for her sociopathic ex

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS In my last two articles, I described how I’m using the “empty chair technique” to help a client, Mary, get closure about her disordered, but deceased, father. She wanted to know why her father felt sorry for her sociopathic ex. Read the previous articles: Empty chair technique to resolve issues with deceased father Coming to terms with an abusive mother and an indifferent father Here we have a continuation of the empty chair technique with Mary and her father. Mary finished the last session discussing how she was infantilized and abused by her mother. In this third session, Mary confronts her father about his relationship with her ex-husband. Mary’s ex …

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Psychopathy can run in families – a possible warning for you

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following request in an email that brings up a scary truth: psychopathy can run in families. My husband's psychopathy was never diagnosed as far as I know, but some years after we married and her second suicide attempt that I knew of, he told me his mother had been diagnosed as a psychopathic manic depressive. Maybe you could give your readers 'a heads up and how to' on finding out as much as possible about the in-laws' medical conditions before marriage, better yet sound them out before becoming emotionally entangled? This is a great suggestion, so thank you to this Lovefraud reader. Here's my basic advice: Understand that psychopathy can run …

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How To Handle Toxic Family and Friends

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers suggestions on how to handle toxic family and friends. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest If you've landed here at LoveFraud, chances are that you're reeling from the pain and disruption of a toxic relationship or upbringing. Or both. Sociopaths and the fallout of abusive relationships can cause a ripple effect that's more like a tidal wave that trashes your life in too many ways to count. And it can go on for many years. Once your self-esteem and self-worth have taken a beating, your choices are adversely affected, as are your connections with people in …

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Sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Sally21.” She tells a typical story (unfortunately) of sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support. I have been divorced for 5 years, was in relationship with N/S (narcissistic sociopath) for over 20 years and it took me at least 10 to find the courage to leave and start over. I have always been very outspoken, intellectual, and fearless. I came from a dysfunctional background but did extensive counseling to become healthy AND pursued educational degree last in both Psychology and Sociology. To no avail...I still married a N/S. I knew from the beginning something was wrong. There were 2 (t …

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