How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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To escape domestic violence, American mother sought asylum in the Netherlands

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An extraordinary documentary by Garland Waller, called No Way Out But One, told the story of Holly Collins, an American woman who fled the United States due to domestic violence and sought asylum in the Netherlands. The video above is a shortened version  13 minutes. The full film was screened at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference which took place last weekend in Washington, D.C. Holly and her two oldest children were beaten by Collins' ex-husband. A court in Minnesota acknowledged that they were abused. But the judge said that Holly Collins was crazy because of the abuse and the children were safer with their father. Holly was granted only supervised visitation. The children were afr …

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Heartbreak and heroism in dealing with child abuse

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Damon Moelter made the above video back in 2010, when he was 13. Last Friday, at age 16, Damon stood at the lectern and stated that he escaped abuse not because he was protected by the family court system, nor because he beat the system. He escaped because he found a way around it. How? Two weeks ago, Damon got married. Once he was married, he was emancipated, and his father could no longer demand custody. As I listened to this young man speak at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference, which took place last Friday and Saturday at the George Washington University Law School in Washington, D.C., I was on the verge of tears as were the 100 or so women (and a few men) in the audience. …

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Researcher explains genetic root of psychopathy

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Dr. Essi Viding of the University College of London explains her research into children who show callous and unemotional traits characteristics that have been linked to psychopathy in adults. A predisposition to develop these traits, she says, is highly heritable.   …

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Recounting domestic violence through poetry

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Editor's note: The following poem was submitted by a Lovefraud reader. The Classic Abuser By Madeleine Mariani This pain in my head is from a concussion It didn't come from any discussion My loving husband hit me square in my head He was trying to kill me as I slept and hoped I'd be dead It has been several hours now and I still feel the pain And tears still flow down my face like an afternoon rain There are laws in place that are supposed to protect me I tried to remember that as I laid on the floor Beat up and bleeding and filled with such gloom As my children were screaming from their own bedroom Daddy, please don't hurt mommy, Not anymore As the rage and beating continued as I laid on …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath has zero power over how I think

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "Angela." I am in the beginning stages of divorcing my sociopath husband. Today, I went to the house to move out, since my children and I left with nothing 6 weeks ago. He was allowed to be there, though I don't understand why as I have a restraining order against him. That was a ”¦ well, it was a sociopathic experience. He laughed and joked with the police officers who were mediating the whole circus and as soon as I left, he took to social media to talk about his "feelings." He rambled on about how cold and heartless I am, and how I will realize what I've lost when it's too late. Are you joking?????? One of th …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m setting boundaries and he HATES it

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call Wendy. I have read your blog so much over the last 3 years that it has become a very valuable tool in the fight against my sociopath ex. Forgive me for how I say this, but it is my weapon of mass destruction against him in my fight for my son's mental and emotional well-being. (Baby is 2& 1/2.) My story started early 2009 when I met my sociopath. It was a whirlwind courtship and of course he said all the right things to a single Mom whose husband had died 6 years before. I became pregnant later that year and that's when my oldest child's and my world flipped upside down. He began by accusing me of …

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Man v. Mouse: “in sickness and in health,” as long as we are healthy

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Life partners often vow to care for one another "til death do us part" and "in sickness and in health."  But do these concepts apply to psychopathic partners or those high in psychopathic traits?  You guessed it.  They do not.  If we are involved in a relationship with a psychopath and fall ill, we will see their true colors quickly.  We can expect a marked difference between the behaviors exhibited in a real love and psychopathic "love."  For if we have nothing to offer, they will not be there for us in our hours of need. It may not be immediate.  We may feel secure in the first "hour" or two.  Those feelings, however, will quickly give way to reality.  Initially, their words will comfort …

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While litigation fees mount, Connecticut court awards custody to abusers

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This two-part article in the Washington Times follows the money trail of Connecticut family court. Author Aine Nistophain writes about a 9-year-old, Max: When Max reported to authorities that his father had raped him, the Judge Munro awarded sole custody of him to his father. Suddenly, Max went from living with his mother full time, to seeing his mother a few hours a week in supervised visitation run by strangers armed with clipboards, then no contact at all. There's more, and it's bad. Read: Finding Ground Zero in Connecticut Immunity for Guardian Ad Litem destroys Connecticut family …

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Healing is a journey

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I've written here many times that I used to think that healing was a place we arrived at and that once we got there “everything would be wonderful.”  I have learned in my latest tangles with the multiple psychopaths in my life that healing is NOT a place that we arrive at, but it is a Journey. I have no doubt looking back at my relationship with my P-sperm donor that I had PTSD when  I escaped from his clutches at least alive, which is more than some of his victims have done. I was 19 and had no one to advise me. Looking back, I wanted to talk to people about this trauma and no one seemed to either believe or care. Even my Egg Donor didn't believe a word …

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The shame and blame game

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All conscientious people, when there's a problem in a relationship, take a look inside eventually to see where their fault or responsibility lies. In a good couple relationship, you might have a fight  over something, but then at some point, you talk about it and get a different understanding of where your partner was coming from, which can change your perspective. You might realize you reacted because it pushed some sort of button in you, perhaps some experience from your past, or you misinterpreted something. In this interchange, both people in a mutually caring relationship should eventually take responsibility for their part of the conflict. Through resolving the conflict you should end …

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