How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Sociopaths and family

Sociopath: “Moments of Weirdness” Or Unrecognized Red Flags?

//  by //  11 Comments

  By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 4: Love At First Sight Is Possible...Just Be Sure You're Seeing Clearly  Paul was romantic, caring, and attentive. He took me to plays, cooked dinner with me, and shared hikes and long walks. When our relationship evolved to physical intimacy, he was an amorous but gentle lover. I felt so lucky to have found him. By the time we started dating, Paul already had a co …

Sociopath: “Moments of Weirdness” Or Unrecognized Red Flags?Read More

Profiting from child custody payments

//  by //  3 Comments

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/196XCAXfqrI"] Many, many sociopaths fight for custody of their children. Sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children. So why do they want the kids? One big reason is to torment the other parent by depriving them of the kids. Another reason is to make money. If the sociopath is the custodial parent, the other parent will have to pay up until the children are 18, or even older, for kids who go to college. Child support payments are often determined by the courts. New research shows that the formulas courts use to set the support payments may overestimate the cost of raising a child by 200% to 400%. See this video produced by D …

Profiting from child custody paymentsRead More

Sociopaths Serve Up Double Standards

//  by //  15 Comments

Double standards are one of the many hallmarks of being in a relationship with a sociopath. Trust me, as a well-educated woman who was taught that she could hold her own with any man, I didn't think I had married someone who viewed me as a puppet and whose only purpose for me was to service his needs. But, as months slipped into years, profound double standards emerged in my relationship with "Paul." Of course, now that I believe Paul is a sociopath, I understand that Paul held these double standards all along. Although he did not display them at first, at some point, they became part of the poisonous air I breathed. Double Standards Deliver Double Benefits For A Sociopath These double …

Sociopaths Serve Up Double StandardsRead More

Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists

//  by //  20 Comments

Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode. Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, "Paul," is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway. Repetition Increases The …

Sociopaths are Superb Natural PsychologistsRead More

The only divorce he will give me is on his terms

//  by //  3 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call " Terri-Anne" I have been married close to 15 years with a sociopath from central Europe. We have three kids together. He promised me of giving our kids a good education. I always felt this marriage is somewhat strange with my husband making excuses all the time to leave the house. I only found out one year ago that my husband has been having sex with prostitutes. He dates them and gives them lots of money. He traveled with three of them; one to Utah, to Canada and five European countries. All this time he promised that everything will be fine, but it was just all a lie. Three years ago he had planned to …

The only divorce he will give me is on his termsRead More

If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care

//  by //  21 Comments

Chapter 7 If I Explain It Right, He'll Care In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two "right" sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we're even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not. But regardless of our natural tendencies, the bottom line is this: our ability to work through daily …

If I Explain it Right, He’ll CareRead More

Warning: Sociopath Ahead!

//  by //  10 Comments

A friend of mine feared her daughter was involved with a sociopath who was pressuring her to have children with him. Knowing I'd had my life derailed by my own husband (now ex-husband), who I now believe is a sociopath, my friend asked me to tell her daughter some of my story. As one never knows if a seed of information will later blossom into insight, I wrote her daughter a letter.  The entry below is based on that letter. Wonderful Qualities Become Profound Vulnerabilities I believe my ex-husband and the father of my children has a personality disorder—narcissistic personality disorder—some refer to such individuals as sociopaths or psychopaths. Such people are more common that most of us e …

Warning: Sociopath Ahead!Read More

Who exactly is a potential victim of psychopaths or sociopaths?

//  by //  26 Comments

Chapter 5 Who is a potential victim? Everyone is a potential victim of a psychopath. There are two basic reasons why, and my goal in this chapter is to make them clear for you. Why? Because too many people think they can't be fooled or that they're too strong to be a victim, and those beliefs put us in danger of being swept away and devastated by a psychopath. Here are my two points, up front. First, psychopaths handle deception differently, and it catches us off guard. Almost anyone can be fooled, even professionals. Second, the most masterful unincarcerated psychopaths can give a very warm impression and/or they talk incessantly about their values. We are not brought up to anticipate …

Who exactly is a potential victim of psychopaths or sociopaths?Read More

For Sociopaths, It’s All About Them–Even When You’re Sick

//  by //  34 Comments

Before I met “Paul,” (the man I married, who I realized about twenty years too late must be a sociopath) I had a friend who may not have known about sociopaths, but she knew to call off her engagement to “Mr. Right” because of a cold and a sandwich. Make Your Own Damn Sandwich! Carol was smart, motivated, kind, outgoing, upbeat, and gorgeous. She was clearly a “catch,” and she had come very close to marrying handsome, rich, well-connected “Mr. Right.” One day, Carol was not feeling well and was lying on the couch amidst sniffles, cough drops, and tissues. Her fiancé chose that moment to ask her to make him a sandwich. “If someone's going to expect me to make him a sandwich when I'm the one w …

For Sociopaths, It’s All About Them–Even When You’re SickRead More

After A Relationship With A Sociopath/ Psychopath, Finding The Right Support Can Be Challenging

//  by //  58 Comments

  Getting out of a relationship with a sociopath can be dangerous, draining, and confusing. For me, and I'm guessing for many others, this can be exacerbated by the fact that finding the right support during this vulnerable time can be difficult. Finding The Right Therapist There was virtually nothing left of me after almost two decades of being unwittingly married to a sociopath --chronic, subtle criticism; gaslighting; isolation; blaming; triangulating, intermittent love/affection, etc. To weaken me further so that he could prevail in our divorce, my then husband started using full frontal assaults as well—verbal abuse, financial terrorism (pretending he could no longer draw a salary f …

After A Relationship With A Sociopath/ Psychopath, Finding The Right Support Can Be ChallengingRead More