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Archives for 2011

You are here: Home / Archives for 2011

Sociopaths Going Backwards

April 25, 2011 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  112 Comments

Sociopaths rarely go forward with their lives with reliable, sustainable momentum; at best, they may zig-zag for a while with the good (and bad) luck of a gambler; or go sidways for a while, “seeming” to hold it together. But eventually, the sociopath tends to go backwards. He is much like the person on a high-speed treadmill who, no mattter how hard he or she walks or runs, finds himself, sooner or later, drifting off the end of the machine. His disordered lack of empathy, detachment from others, detachment from an emotional connection to the world that keeps the rest of us on fairly solid ground, giving us at least a chance to hit solid ground, and hit it running—the sociopath is miss …

Sociopaths Going BackwardsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: The psychopath cartoons

April 16, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  30 Comments

Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Mr. Invincible and other Un-Inspiring Characters By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide As many of your know, having come out of relationships with sociopaths often we feel powerless. Some like Donna and others like myself have felt inspired to speak up and share our stories and talk about their experiences. I had this little voice that wanted to shout from the rooftops in the hope that o …

RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: The psychopath cartoonsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath

Might does not make right

April 15, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  137 Comments

By Ox Drover Sometimes former victims of psychopaths have voiced to me that they just want others to know that the psychopath was not the victim, but the abuser. Former victims are frustrated that others don't recognize someone is an abuser. Many times the actual victim has instead been painted by the real abuser as the “bad guy.” I remember reading a letter from my psychopathic son from his prison cell who told me in the letter he knew that I had to be the one who was “wrong” because he got along with everyone in the family circle and I got along with no one, so therefore I had to be the one “in the wrong.” Well, democratically voting on something does not make something “right,” it …

Might does not make rightRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Debating empathy and evil

April 13, 2011 //  by Donna Andersen//  359 Comments

A Cambridge professor, Simon Baron-Cohen, has written Zero Degrees of Empathy: A new theory of human cruelty. In this review, the author explains the professor's ideas. Read Why a lack of empathy is the root of all evil, on Independent.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

Debating empathy and evilRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

Letter to a sociopath

April 8, 2011 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  416 Comments

I write you this letter to explain something to you. You have a serious personality disorder whose very symptoms, paradoxically, may leave you unaware that you have it. Or”¦you may be “aware” of your disorder in an “intellectual” sense but, consequent to your disorder, you lack appropriate alarm and shame over its expression. People who do not have your disorder, if they were told they had it (and of its nature),  would feel extremely unnerved, shamed, to hear this feedback. You, on the other hand, neither feel, nor react, with expected levels of uneasiness to learn of your disorder. Your reactions, expressing either calm indifference and striking unperturbedness, or, alternatively, …

Letter to a sociopathRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

If someone is violent, they are capable of worse

April 8, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  77 Comments

By Ox Drover Recently on Lovefraud there have been several people who have talked about how their ex-significant others have been violent, and yet they still have strong feelings for these (mostly) men. The readers find it difficult to go “no contact” and refuse to listen to the pleas of these guys to get back with them. Statistics show that more women are hurt or murdered at the time that they are breaking up with someone who has formerly been violent than at any other time. Breaking up with someone who is physically violent can be dangerous. Staying with someone who has proven they are physically dangerous and capable of violence is more dangerous. Here are stories about an ex-cop …

If someone is violent, they are capable of worseRead More

Category: Sociopaths and family

Letters to God, by Jane Pinney

April 7, 2011 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

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Letters to God, by Jane PinneyRead More

Category: Book reviews

Is the guy trying to pick you up really a soldier?

April 7, 2011 //  by Donna Andersen//  3 Comments

Cases of wannabes pretending to be military heroes are rampant. This article offers some tips on spotting if the soldier is really a fake. Be sure to read the comments for additional perspective. An officer, gentleman and a total fake!!! on MyWingmanDiana.Military.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. Here's more info on Lovefraud.com: Is he or she military? …

Is the guy trying to pick you up really a soldier?Read More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get out

April 3, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  44 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Laurel.” She married Frank as a teenager and had five children with him. Her oldest, Amy, is 19 in the story and married to Matt. Her son, Andy, is 14. Names have been changed. I knew I was leaving. I had been plotting for months, since my first few tastes of TRUE freedom and being around normal people, that I was getting myself and my children out. I had been saving and accumulating paperwork, solid proof of income for months. Keeping it safe and duplicating everything. One morning I walked into Frank's bedroom to give him his coffee and do whatever bidding he had in mind on his IPad, when it occ …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get outRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Media sociopaths

Once we know what they are–we must maintain No Contact

April 1, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  1,591 Comments

By Ox Drover One of the themes that seems to run throughout the stories of many of, if not most of, the people who have had experiences with psychopaths is that we have either had repeated episodes of being abused by the same psychopath, even after we saw their dishonesty, or had episodes of being sucked into the webs of multiple psychopaths. Or, we have both of these—multiple episodes with multiple psychopaths. Most of the people I have known who were formerly victims of psychopaths are not stupid. In fact, some of the smartest, most accomplished people I know are former victims, and have been repeatedly victimized by one psychopath after finding out that this person was dishonest and …

Once we know what they are–we must maintain No ContactRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

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  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
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