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Archives for March 2012

You are here: Home / 2012 / Archives for March 2012
Cover image "Evil Eyes"

BOOK REVIEW: Evil Eyes–A daughter’s memoir

March 31, 2012 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  26 Comments

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been writing for Lovefraud as regularly over the last year. The reason is I have been working to get a research program off the ground. Objective scientific research on psychopathy and the family will inform a better understanding of the disorder and educate professionals about the needs of victims and family members. In a very exciting and lucky turn of events, an expert in “mixed methods” research has an office down the hall from mine at the University of Bridgeport, and l have recently learned a great deal about how to conduct this kind of research. I have long appreciated that the usual mathematical approach to psychological research does not …

BOOK REVIEW: Evil Eyes–A daughter’s memoirRead More

Category: Book reviews, For children of sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Knowledge is power

March 30, 2012 //  by Joyce Alexander//  58 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) If you are not willing to learn, No one can help you. If you are determined to learn, No one can stop you. A friend shared that saying with me today in an email and it made me think about what we say here at Lovefraud when we encourage a new poster to read and learn about psychopaths, to arm themselves with knowledge: “Knowledge is power.” Knowledge is a powerful tool in our lives. If we have no education, we are powerless, as we see in people who have dropped out of school illiterate. We encourage our children to do the best they can in school, to go on to higher education, so that they are better prepared in life, have more power to determine their …

Knowledge is powerRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Senseless murder of a Vermont teacher

March 29, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  77 Comments

I just read the story about Melissa Jenkins, a popular teacher in Vermont, who went to help her neighbors, only to be brutally murdered as soon as she got out of her car. I am sick to my stomach. Not only because of the stupid, horrific crime, but because I believe the victim suspected something was wrong. The story in the Burlington Free Press begins: ST. JOHNSBURY When Melissa Jenkins answered the phone Sunday night, the couple who used to plow her driveway said they were stranded half a mile from her home. Their car had broken down on the remote country road, they said, and they needed her help. Before driving out to meet them, Jenkins called longtime friend and coworker Randy …

Senseless murder of a Vermont teacherRead More

Category: Media sociopaths

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Mother as sociopath

March 28, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  58 Comments

Editor's note: The following email was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "OpalRose." I'm not a good writer, but I've learned so much the past 3 years from Love Fraud that I decided to write about my “Long Night's Journey into Day” about emerging from childhood with a sociopathic mother. My first experience of something amiss that stuck with me was probably pre-school when she had a full-blown temper tantrum that I brought her too many envelopes. She had asked for “a few envelopes” and I had brought 7 — she even counted them out and screamed that I should know that “a few” means 3. So much for my ability to read minds. She insisted that “if we really loved her, she wouldn't have to …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Mother as sociopathRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, For children of sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

They Just Can’t Understand – Why It’s So Hard To Explain The Truth To Others

March 27, 2012 //  by Mel Carnegie//  50 Comments

This week's post is based on recent experiences and inspired by this comment posted on a previous article —  “the eyes see only what the mind knows” (thank you ”˜woundlicker'). It's the on-going subject about how on earth we can open other peoples' eyes about the psychopaths who live and breathe among us. My recent experiences have highlighted, yet again, how tricky it is for people to get their head around this kind of information — let alone accept that they have been duped! I often think back to the early days after I discovered the truth about my ex, and how puzzling I found it when people just didn't seem to believe me when I told them what had happened. No matter how many reams of bl …

They Just Can’t Understand – Why It’s So Hard To Explain The Truth To OthersRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Sociopaths and double lives

March 26, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  184 Comments

Recently, a reporter was inquiring about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers? Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women. Not everyone who lives a double life is a sociopath. Some people, like spies and undercover cops, are …

Sociopaths and double livesRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

George Hartwig: Justice finally served?

March 24, 2012 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  25 Comments

It has been almost exactly 9 years since my life as I knew it ended with the arrest of my ex-husband. I can say I am a “survivor,” but my life will never be what it would have been had this not happened. In the wake of Barry Lichtenthal, many people have been permanently damaged. Perhaps the best marker of a sociopath is the number of broken and wounded who fall on the paths of their lives. But I am lucky, as are the rest of those who survive life shared with a sociopath free of bodily damage. I have come to understand that the bodily damage that sociopaths inflict is both direct and indirect. George Hartwig's story gives us an example of both. It also causes us to pause and think about th …

George Hartwig: Justice finally served?Read More

Category: Media sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath

Don’t quit in the middle of the lesson

March 23, 2012 //  by Joyce Alexander//  95 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Someone posted one of those “signs” on my Facebook page today that everyone forwards and shares, which I call “one-sentence wisdom or humor” but this one struck me as suburb wisdom. The past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you apply it. Don't quit in the middle. We have all had the misfortune to learn our lessons the “hard way” in associating with a psychopath (or two), but actually I think “misfortune” may be the wrong word, because learning things “the hard way” means that we will not forget those lessons. “The burned hand never forgets the fire” is another way to say it. Maybe we have actually been fortunate to escape from …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is the time for me to learn who I am

March 22, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  41 Comments

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Adelade." Since the collapse of my second marriage, I have learned more than I would ever have wanted to know about sociopathy and their source targets - better known as, "victims." At one point, I had believed that my second marriage was stable, trust-based, and supportive, but I have recounted the years and the stunning discoveries that I made about my ex, and the symptoms (or, Red Flags) were all there, though they were more subtle and the absence of physical abuse, helped to frame the ex's facade. Through some very strong counseling, I was able to identify that "inner child" that I'd heard so much …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is the time for me to learn who I amRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

BOOK REVIEW: Cults In Our Midst

March 19, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  65 Comments

I recently finished reading Cults In Our Midst—The continuing fight against their hidden menace, by Dr. Margaret Thaler Singer. The book is not new—it was originally published in 1995, and the revised edition that I read was published in 2003. It is a comprehensive description of cults, which the author defines as: a group that forms around a person who claims he or she has a special mission or knowledge, which will be shared with those who turn over most of their decision making to the self-appointed leader. Before reading Cults In Our Midst, I'd read and watched TV programs about some cult leaders, and noticed the similarity between their behavior and the behavior of sociopaths. I dev …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Scientific research

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