How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopath

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Editor's note: The following article was sent by the reader who posts as Opal Rose. July 24, 2012, was my 30th wedding anniversary. I found the Lovefraud web site in August 2009 after finding a directory on my computer put there by my husband while his computer was being repaired. Unbelievable and worse than I could have ever imagined — porn, violence-against-women-porn, sex dating sites for college age women, e-mails to specific responders to ads. The dude was busy. A frantic visit to my workplace Employee Assistance Program gave me the concept of “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” but subsequent searches led me to the checklist for “Sociopath.” I distinctly remember my jaw dropping whe …

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Honoring the memory of Amara, Sophie and Cecilia

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It has been interesting to listen to the pundits trying to explain why someone would declare war on those in a theater and open fire. One said, "most of the time these acts are not committed by sociopaths” and asserted that most of the shooters are “depressed.” Many other pundits have said the shooter is obviously without conscience and have described him as “a psychopath.” I bring up these issues because of another story that received very little coverage because it was eclipsed by the horrific events in Colorado. Today I would like to honor the memory of Amara, Sophie and Cecilia, three little ones whose only crime was having a monster as a father. Amara, Sophie and Cecilia …

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Lovefraud Lesson #5: When sociopaths pretend to be your sudden soul mate

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Perhaps, deep in our hearts, we always believed in "love at first sight." Then we met that person who seemed to be everything we ever wanted, and who felt the same way about us. It's destiny! We're soul mates! If this is what you're hearing, you may need to watch the newest Lovefraud video. …

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How our thoughts affect our lives

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)  “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”  (Proverbs 23:7) I was watching the movie Iron Lady today and a few lines of the character Margaret Thatcher jumped out at me and made me think of that verse above from the Bible. Here are the lines from Mrs. Thatcher, as she was speaking with her physician. Watch your thoughts for they become words, Watch your words for they become your actions, Watch your actions For they become  your habits Watch your habits for they become your character Watch your character for it becomes your destiny What we think we become. How many times do we prove those words, originally attributed to the ancient Chine …

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When is enough, enough?

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The only constant in life is that very little remains constant.  None of us know exactly what our futures hold.  This is true for everyone, regarding most aspects of life.  However, when recovering from relationships with psychopathic individuals or those with psychopathic features, it is an especially important concept for us to understand. Why?  The reality is that sometimes they like to hold on to us.  While the notion seems to defy logic, it is extremely common.  As a result, we must be ready for what this brings, so that we do not allow them to get the best of us or hinder our recoveries.  Their inabilities to release us can rapidly turn bizarre and cause significant harm, emotional o …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Filippa." I've been reading Lovefraud for years. I've also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, "I'll show you how to screw over an ex-wife." Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out ”¦ releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to manipulate the legal system to harass me or my children. I gave up $150K for full legal and physical custody. He …

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Real Love After The Sociopath

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I don't remember the number of times that my friends warned me not to shut down after it all happened. How many times they'd ask me not to lose myself. To avoid becoming bitter and lonely. To stay open, despite my pain. “With what you've been through you have every right to never trust anyone again” they'd say “but please don't let this experience change you from being the loving bubbly person that you are — time will heal. Stay open” Yes, I am very lucky indeed to have such wise and loving friends. I count my blessings and am grateful for such levels of support — particularly during the early days after discovering the truth.  At the time I thought they were referring to my ability to …

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Many shades of bad behavior

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Last month I was in a law firm. Not because of a legal issue—I was there to discuss writing the content for their new websites. Two lawyers, who had been part of one firm, were setting up independent practices. One lawyer hired me. The other wasn't sure, so he wanted to meet me. A week later I learned that the second lawyer decided he would write his website himself. On Saturday, I was shocked to see a story in the local newspaper: The second lawyer, Seth A. Fuscellaro, who was also a public defender in Lower Township, New Jersey, was charged in a $15 million mortgage fraud scheme. The FBI actually arrested him in municipal court and escorted him out in handcuffs. The lawyer was one of …

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Never too young to learn about sociopaths

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A Lovefraud reader found the recent article about me and my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud, in a Michigan newspaper. This was a surprise to me, because the article was originally published by a New Jersey newspaper, the Camden Courier Post. It turns out that the story was picked up around the country, which is good—it means word about these disordered individuals is getting out. This particular Lovefraud reader had her own run-in with a sociopath. She is teaching her children about them, which she related to me in a postscript of her email: P.S. My 12-year-old daughter and I were just discussing the article being in the paper she is very aware of sociopaths having been on the r …

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