By Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed We may not be wearing socks on our heads and our shirts may not be on backwards, but when psychopaths project their traits and behaviors on to us, things may seem as strange as if we were. Unfortunately, at first, what they are doing to us is far from obvious. We have no idea that they are taking their own shortcomings and reprehensible traits and behaviors and trying to make us believe that they are ours. Who would do that? Since the thought seems incredibly ridiculous to us and is the last thing we would consider doing, the possibility usually fails to cross our minds. As a result, we are almost always confused and defensive until we come to …
Through Fear To Love
I'm sure many of us here have read Susan Jeffers' modern classic “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” — it's a book that invites us to understand and accept our natural feelings of fear and then use them to do something different and create a more positive life as a result. I first came across the book when I studied as a Louise Hay trainer back in 1997 and I still regard it as a hugely relevant, well-written piece of work that offers practical advice for many situations. Well, this week has been another opportunity for me to once again face my own fears — and also to acknowledge a few more of the hidden ones that have been sitting there niggling away in the background! Friday 13th was round t …
Dating after the sociopath
A reader posted the following comment on Lovefraud's Facebook page: "This website helps me too, but now, as I venture into the world of dating again, I find that my past is terrible hindrance. So difficult. Any advice gratefully received. Just want to be happy." Many times I've been asked, "After what your con artist ex-husband did to you, can you ever trust again?" Yes I can. I do. I am remarried, and I am happier now than I've ever been, in fact, I'm much happier than I ever was before the sociopath. So how do you climb out of the abyss of profound betrayal? How do you recover? How do you move forward, to the point where you can actually love again? Here are some lessons I've …
Psychopathy Awareness review of Red Flags of Love Fraud
Claudia Moscovici, author of the Psychopathy Awareness blog, recently posted a review of my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath. She says: As a professional writer myself, I'd say that the most distinctive feature of Red Flags of Love Fraud is the quality of the writing, both in content and form. Donna's writing is well-documented and informed, engaging and psychologically insightful. Insight is when a writer manages to probe deep within, to explain analytically what may be only a vague intuition in the minds of readers. Good writing encourages readers to explore their psyches, motivations and lives. Insight and introspection are especially important for vic …
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Red Flags of Love Fraud goes beyond surface in explaining the danger of sociopaths
By Fannie LeFlore, MS,LPC Since she founded Lovefraud.com in 2005, Donna Andersen has heard heartbreaking and horrendous stories from people across the globe who've been victimized by sociopaths. Her new book does what we'd hope parents and schools do on a routine basis: Better prepare people for the complexities of real-life relationships and social interactions, whether business, romantic, family or friends. This requires, as uneasy as it may make us feel, acknowledging that some human beings simply are not interested in being decent, but actually seek to cause harm to others as a way of life. Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 Signs You're Dating a Sociopath, released in Spring 2012 by Ande …
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BOOK REVIEW: Red Flags of Love Fraud by Donna Andersen
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I was eagerly awaiting the release of this book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath, and I was not disappointed at all. Donna Andersen, the owner of the LoveFraud.com website, received her “credentials” in dealing with sociopaths (psychopaths) when she married James Montgomery, a full-fledged con man. At the time Donna “enrolled” in this course in the University of Hard Knocks, she was totally unaware that this charming and charismatic man she had married was indeed a sociopath. He conned her out of more than $200,000 during the short course of their marriage, had numerous affairs, and actually fathered a child with another woman du …
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Stress eats holes in your brain
Dealing with a sociopath means stress. Somehow, we have to find ways to reduce it. Here's why: Yet another reason to reduce stress: It shrinks your brain, on CommercialAppeal.com. …
Why narcissists get the job
A study finds that because narcissists are so comfortable talking about themselves, they often impress people who are interviewing them for jobs. Read Narcissists often ace job interviews, study finds, on News.Yahoo.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Psychopaths and the rules: to comply or not to comply, how do they decide?
By: Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed When dealing with psychopaths, or individuals with psychopathic features, nothing is as it seems to the naked eye. When in relationships with psychopathic individuals, the non-psychopaths bear the brunt of great responsibility, both real and perceived. After all, the "normals" really are left carrying the loads and picking up the pieces when the psychopaths are tired of playing the games that they initiated. However, the blame or burden they attempt to place on us, while accepting none for themselves, is not legitimate and we should not internalize it. Our actions and behaviors have little or nothing to do with the outcomes of their choices, even if t …
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Deliberate Cruelty From Someone Who Is Meant To Care
Last week I found myself in an intimidating situation that required me to put all my skills of resilience in to practice. I was in the hands of a professional person who should be there to care for others. I was in a hugely vulnerable position, yet instead of receiving care, I felt myself being belittled, bullied and threatened. The person dishing out this particularly cruel treatment was a senior doctor in a private clinic, where I am a patient. A few years ago I would probably have put up with his behaviour, or brushed it off as being just something I mis-read — but not this time. Not now. Not ever again. So I thought I'd share my story here on Lovefraud. As you already k …
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