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Archive for March, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: The Other Side of Charm

The Other Side of CharmIn her new book, The Other Side of Charm Your Memoir, author H. G. Beverly gives voice to the emotional experience of being married to, or more appropriately, ambushed by, a psychopath. She captures the shock, outrage, disbelief and confusion better than any book I’ve ever read.

The basic story is that Helen Beverly knew the man, whom she calls Wyatt, for almost her entire life. They both grew up in farm country, and she married him when she was 24. After the wedding he immediately embarked on a subtle campaign to subjugate her. The first step was to convince her to drop out of veterinary school. After all, they agreed that they wanted a family, and they agreed that she should stay home with the kids, and he made enough money, so why did she need veterinary school? Right?

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: To she who has a child with the sociopath from the “other woman”

Editor’s Note: The Lovefraud reader “bodicasway” recently sent in the following note. It’s a message she wishes she could send to the former partner of the sociopath that she was involved with.

I have been thinking lately about the woman who puts up with this spath because they have a child together, because she let him move back into property next door to her, because she sees what he’s up to all the time ”¦ because I was involved with him as were countless other women. Right under her nose.

Dear Friend,

Research continues to show differences in psychopath brain activity

Scientists have shown that there is a specific network of brain regions involved in mediating moral judgment. Based on research, “antisocial groups” such as psychopaths may know what is moral, but they may lack a feeling of what is moral.

Several researchers have additionally suggested that the brain areas involved in moral judgment overlap with what is called the “default mode network,” which is involved in our “baseline” state of being awake but at rest. Many research teams approach the morality issue by concentrating on different parts of the brain and different kinds of studies.

Similar research is also being conducted on those with autistic brains.

Former Scout leader sentenced to 85 years for sexually assaulting boys

Brian KillionBrian Killion, 41, a former Boy Scout leader from Absecon, New Jersey, was sentenced to 85 years in prison for sexually assaulting and photographing five boys. The crimes took place over 16 years.

Killion was found guilty last September of aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault, endangering the welfare of a child, and possession and manufacturing of child pornography.

“It is certain that he will offend again if given access to additional victims,” sais Judge Bernard E. DeLury Jr., according to the Press of Atlantic City.

Ex-Boy Scout leader from Absecon gets 85 years for child-sex crimes, on PressOfAtlanticCity.com.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Are Your Cell Phone Communications Safe?

By Brad Robinson, Private Investigator

Brad RobinsonWe are often asked by our clients who are in the midst of a messy divorce, a contentious child custody battle or a serious stalker situation, “Can he/she be intercepting my cellphone communications?” In almost all cases, the short answer is, “Yes.”

Cell phone “spyware”

Today, it’s not just those 3-letter spy agencies who may be listening in to our most private exchanges. Surprisingly sophisticated and inexpensive cellphone “spyware” can be found and purchased online by anyone. The better versions enable an unauthorized eavesdropper to remotely capture copies of your call log, address book, text messages, photos and more (bank account PIN, anyone?). In some of the more elaborate versions, your actual phone conversations can be overheard in real time! It’s a frightening prospect but there are steps you can take to counter this threat.

Government investigates Connecticut family court treatment of parents with disabilities

The Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson reports that the US Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division has opened up an investigation into whether disabled litigants in Connecticut divorce courts are unfairly singled out and punished by judges.

“The investigation is in response to parents who have complained that if the family courts even suspected a parent suffered from an impairment, judges denied them equal access to due process, took away their children, and imposed outrageous costs and fees on their families that drove them into bankruptcy and financial ruin,” she writes.

Connecticut courts impose outrageous costs on disabled families, from Communities Digital News.

Posted in: Laws and courts

Maybe victim’s statement helps as parole denied for Iowa stalker Michael Bonert

Michael J. Bonert mug shot

Michael J. Bonert mug shot

Michael Bonert, who was sentenced to 21 years in prison for stalking his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper, had a parole interview in Iowa on March 19, 2014. Vicki attended the hearing to protest his parole.

“During questioning he was asked if there are any pending criminal cases,” Vicki said. “First he admitted that he has filed for post conviction relief, then he said that there is an investigation that he initiated two months ago against me for perjury.

Researcher seeks parents who have seen their adult children abused by a partner

Sherry Welsh, a licensed social worker and doctoral student at Morgan State University in Baltimore, Maryland, is researching the experience of parents whose adult children are victims or perpetrators of domestic violence. To gather data, Welsh invites parents in this situation to take an anonymous online survey.

Welsh hopes to investigate the degree to which selected psychosocial and demographic variables (gender, socioeconomic status, types of support, perceived social support, self-esteem, and coping) influence depressive behaviors amongst parents of adult victims and perpetrators of domestic violence.

The survey will take 15 to 20 minutes. No identifying information is captured, so the survey is completely anonymous. To take the survey, go to:

Why you can become addicted to a sociopath

Dream dateLovefraud recently received the following email from a reader:

Why can’t I get past this jerk? Why do I feel like there is something wrong with me? You see he dumped me for a female version of himself, i.e., drug dealer, liar, manipulator, violent ”¦ and he is stringing me along bad mouthing her to me and vice versa. Never in a million years would I think I would even associate myself with someone like that! Yet I’m beating myself up – why not me?? I should be grateful!! Why am I still pining for this creep?

Letters to Lovefraud: I could no longer share my life with someone who lacked a conscience and integrity

con manEditor’s Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader DonnaC. Other names in this letter have been changed.

Below is a letter my former husband wrote shortly after I had told him that our marriage was over. He spent two weeks trying to convince me to give him time to ”˜once again’ prove he could be the man he was meant to be.

When we married 11 years earlier he was handsome, successful and fun. We met after my loveless first marriage. I was a happy outgoing person but he knew about my withdrawn ex husband and so it was easy to ”˜love bomb’ me. I found his confidence, energy and zest for life intoxicating.

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