How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was a fraud (Part 1 – The imbalance)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. This is Part 1 — The Imbalance. I have never been ashamed of surviving what others are capable of, in fact once I fight back the bitterness and anger I fill with pride that it wasn't in my heart to even fathom their true intent. Inasmuch as it hurts to breathe the stagnant air of the world's disease, too many, looking out for themselves at any cost, I would rather endure the hell I have, losing all that others covet in their attempts to emulate what they can only pretend to be. I prefer it be that I don't have it in my heart to see such things e …

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An abused woman’s negotiation with herself

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Writing in the first person, Reut Amit describes a dialog that many abused women know: As long as her partner wasn't hitting her, she could put up with his lies, his cheating, his verbal and psychological abuse, and her isolation. “I set a benchmark. The red line I wouldn't cross. The minute he hit me, I would leave,” Amit writes on Huffington Post. With the help of other abused women, she did not wait until the arbitrary red line was crossed to get out of the relationship. He Never Hit Me, from HuffingtonPost.com. Link supplied by MaryAnn Glynn. Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online …

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Not all sociopaths are charming and polished

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Leslie Ann.” The names in this story have been changed. I met Matt. I was tired of dating and definitely tired of dating jerks. Matt was stable, not as good looking as the men I had dated before, in fact he seemed a little awkward. He was very kind and polite. I was ready to get married and settle down. He said he had been divorced for 8 years and that his wife has lived in another bedroom for their 18 year marriage and was cold to him but that they had a peaceful marriage. He was starved for love and was so wanting to find his soul mate. He had dreamed of finding woman who looked like me. I'm pet …

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Husband indicted for wife’s deadly fall off Rocky Mountain cliff

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Harold Henthorn, 58, from Denver was indicted by a federal grand jury for first-degree murder of his wife Toni Henthorn a successful ophthalmologist. The two went hiking in Colorado's Rocky Mountain National Park for their twelfth wedding anniversary. Toni went over the side of a cliff and died before help could arrive. Harold is suspected of pushing her to her death. “Harold Henthorn seemed controlling and dishonest about the couple's financial situation, lying about a business he claimed to own so that Toni would move away from her family in Mississippi to be with him in Denver,” said her brother, Todd Bertolet, according to the Associated Press. Henthorn stood to inherit hundreds of th …

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“Systemic pattern” of sex abuse at Horace Mann, elite NYC prep school

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Horace Mann was, and remains, one of New York City's most rigorous and respected private prep schools. But over the last few years, 63 students have come forward with allegations that they were sexually abused by 22 former Horace Mann staff members. The incidents allegedly took place between 1962 and 1996. The Bronx district attorney said they found a "systemic pattern" of alleged sexual abuse but can't  prosecute because the statute of limitations ran out. An investigative report was due to be released last month, but there is no mention of it on the Internet. School sexual abuse survivors end decades of secrecy, on People.com. Bronx D.A. finds 'systemic pattern' of abuse at Horace M …

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International bigamist con man Will Jordan pleads guilty to theft by deception

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MT. HOLLY, NEW JERSEY William Allen Jordan, 49, of Cherry Hill, New Jersey, pleaded guilty to theft by deception Monday, admitting that he pretended to be an official from the U.K. to convince a woman to give him money. In a plea bargain, Jordan admitted that he took $4,383 from Mischele Lewis, 36, of Florence Township, New Jersey. Jordan accepted a sentence of three years in a New Jersey state prison. He was ordered to pay Mischele restitution of $4,383. He agreed to have no contact with Mischele or her family. He waived his right to appeal the case. Sentencing was set for February 6, 2015. Fake identity When Jordan and Mischele met online in January 2013, he told her, in a …

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Journaling keeps you grounded so you don’t fall down the rabbit hole into Wonderland – where you are ‘wondering’ if it is real or not

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "GoldenGirl.” I remember my first red flag. We were walking to his car on a first date after about three months of telephone conversation after we first met. I was so shocked by what “I” blurted out, that I ignored my own advice. As we were close to his car, I turned to him and said, for no specific reason, “If you ever lie to me I will leave you.” I immediately apologized and said, “I don't know where that came from! I have never said anything like that to someone before in my life.” It is five years later and I dearly wish that I had followed my own advice. I was 65 at the time, had not …

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Brad Robinson: Are you being tracked while in your vehicle?

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By Brad Robinson, Private Investigator Increasingly, we are contacted by clients who are convinced that their sociopath is tracking or monitoring them even when they are alone in their vehicle. Sometimes this is merely the imagination of someone who (often with good reason) has become frightened and a bit paranoid. Often we are able to determine that their ex (or a friend or relative he has co-opted or a private investigator he has hired) is physically surveilling our client. Increasingly, however, our investigation reveals that our client has become the victim of technical surveillance, i.e., a device has been secretly installed on/in their vehicle. GPS = Global Positioning System By …

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Forgive or don’t forgive; that is the question

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Peg Streep, a New York City based writer and author or coauthor of nine books, explores the complicated concept of forgiveness Her findings come from concentrating on the psychological point of view of three questions: What is forgiveness, anyway? Is forgiveness an evolutionary step forward? Does forgiving make you a doormat? She also addresses the questions, why do humans forgive and, when they do, how do they hope to benefit? When You Should and Should Not Forgive, from Psychology Today. Link supplied by Lovefraud reader. …

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Letter to the next target

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A Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "new_day" knows the next target her sociopathic ex has lined up. New_day and the sociopath divorced when their son was one year old. He then left the next girlfriend before their baby's first birthday. He just proposed to the current girlfriend. It really bothers new_day to sit back and watch. She wants to warn the woman, but doesn't dare, because then she will be back in the drama. Here's what new_day would like to say to her ex-husband's next target: Do you catch yourself wondering why he tells those little white lies; I mean about things that aren't even worth lying about? Or why he is so secretive about things that aren't even worth lying ab …

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